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Financial settlement/divorce
flowerpower11
Posts: 21 Forumite
I could do with some advice pleased. I know this is long so please bear with me x
Husband and wife separated 3 years ago as wife had an affair. At the time there was around £27k of debt in husbands name as wife didn’t work during the 7 year marriage (wife got a job two months before separation) This debt was run up between them to pay for holidays and home purchases.
There are two children from the marriage.
Husband moved in with parents taking nothing of any value with him and starts paying CSA but also has to service the entire debt alone.
All joint accounts were closed but to do this husband has to pay off overdrafts but it was a small price to pay to know wife can’t add to the debt.
A year down the line wife wants husband off the mortgage as she is paying it but he is still a joint owner. They agree a sum of £7k to buy him out even though there is over £40k equity but that’s all she can afford and he wants to be off the mortgage in case she gets into arrears and it affects his credit rating (excellent as he never missed any payments)
This money is used to pay off some of the debt and over the next 18 months the debt is paid off apart from one loan which currently has two further years to run.
Husband and new partner (me) buy a house a year ago using the deposit I saved over 10 years. I have a grown up daughter and teenager who live with us and partner’s children stay every other weekend and during holidays.
My partner applied for a ‘no fault’ divorce based on two years separation but wife has flatly refused to agree until he agrees to give her 2/3 of his pension and ¼ of the value of our new house (I assume by this she means the equity which will be little more than the deposit after only a year)
My partner has worked for the same company for 26 years and will probably work there all his life, meaning around 49 years of pension contributions so it seems grossly unfair that she could think 2/3 of his pension is an appropriate amount to be given after 7 years of marriage.
She has no pension and although she says there is no equity in her house we are doubtful as on her salary she couldn’t raise a mortgage for the full value. Both our houses are worth roughly the same.
My partner pays me a set amount per month and I pay all the household bills, we save some money (in my name) for emergencies, home, outings and also so we can start to make small capital overpayments on our mortgage (essential as we want to reduce the term so we are mortgage free when we retire)
My partner only has a Christmas savings account with the Credit Union amounting to a few hundred ££s in December and no other savings or capital. He has a car valued at a few hundred pounds.
We cannot agree to wife’s demands and so we think we will have to wait until 5 years have elapsed and let the judge decide the financial settlement. Obviously this will mean a full disclosure of debt and assets.
I am hoping that only debts and assets acquired during the marriage would be taken into consideration, not those acquired after separation?
So my questions are:
As she prolongs the divorce, is her entitlement to my partner’s pension also increasing year on year?
If anything happens to my partner I assume the pension would go entirely to her? (We have life insurance which I know would be paid to me to pay the mortgage off)
If we make overpayments on our mortgage therefore increasing the equity are we going to have to hand over some of this to wife when finances are settled? Would I be best to save that money in my name until the finances are settled which could be years away?
The idea was to reduce the interest on the mortgage so ideally we would want to make the overpayments as soon as we are in a position to do it.
Wife says we will have to sell our house to pay her what she thinks she is owed but I have a daughter who will still be a dependant so I think this is nonsense? But then if we have to give her thousands I don't know how we could afford it.
Surly if our equity is split with her then her equity will also be split? Because their children are younger she says she won’t have to pay or sell the house.
If she runs up debt after they separated will those debts also be split even if they are solely in her name and even if my partner has paid all the debts off once?
If either party were to inherit money before the divorce would that also be split in the settlement?
At the end of the day my partner has really turned things around, paid of the joint debts and bought a new house with me. We don’t want anything from her but equally we don’t see why she should have any more from us that the law says she should have (we don’t dispute she is entitled to a share of his pension)
It makes me sick thinking she can get her hands on the money I saved for the deposit on our home and the money we save to make overpayments is going to line her pockets even more.
She is a nightmare to deal with in general!
Lots of questions I know but any advice would be welcome, thank you xx
Husband and wife separated 3 years ago as wife had an affair. At the time there was around £27k of debt in husbands name as wife didn’t work during the 7 year marriage (wife got a job two months before separation) This debt was run up between them to pay for holidays and home purchases.
There are two children from the marriage.
Husband moved in with parents taking nothing of any value with him and starts paying CSA but also has to service the entire debt alone.
All joint accounts were closed but to do this husband has to pay off overdrafts but it was a small price to pay to know wife can’t add to the debt.
A year down the line wife wants husband off the mortgage as she is paying it but he is still a joint owner. They agree a sum of £7k to buy him out even though there is over £40k equity but that’s all she can afford and he wants to be off the mortgage in case she gets into arrears and it affects his credit rating (excellent as he never missed any payments)
This money is used to pay off some of the debt and over the next 18 months the debt is paid off apart from one loan which currently has two further years to run.
Husband and new partner (me) buy a house a year ago using the deposit I saved over 10 years. I have a grown up daughter and teenager who live with us and partner’s children stay every other weekend and during holidays.
My partner applied for a ‘no fault’ divorce based on two years separation but wife has flatly refused to agree until he agrees to give her 2/3 of his pension and ¼ of the value of our new house (I assume by this she means the equity which will be little more than the deposit after only a year)
My partner has worked for the same company for 26 years and will probably work there all his life, meaning around 49 years of pension contributions so it seems grossly unfair that she could think 2/3 of his pension is an appropriate amount to be given after 7 years of marriage.
She has no pension and although she says there is no equity in her house we are doubtful as on her salary she couldn’t raise a mortgage for the full value. Both our houses are worth roughly the same.
My partner pays me a set amount per month and I pay all the household bills, we save some money (in my name) for emergencies, home, outings and also so we can start to make small capital overpayments on our mortgage (essential as we want to reduce the term so we are mortgage free when we retire)
My partner only has a Christmas savings account with the Credit Union amounting to a few hundred ££s in December and no other savings or capital. He has a car valued at a few hundred pounds.
We cannot agree to wife’s demands and so we think we will have to wait until 5 years have elapsed and let the judge decide the financial settlement. Obviously this will mean a full disclosure of debt and assets.
I am hoping that only debts and assets acquired during the marriage would be taken into consideration, not those acquired after separation?
So my questions are:
As she prolongs the divorce, is her entitlement to my partner’s pension also increasing year on year?
If anything happens to my partner I assume the pension would go entirely to her? (We have life insurance which I know would be paid to me to pay the mortgage off)
If we make overpayments on our mortgage therefore increasing the equity are we going to have to hand over some of this to wife when finances are settled? Would I be best to save that money in my name until the finances are settled which could be years away?
The idea was to reduce the interest on the mortgage so ideally we would want to make the overpayments as soon as we are in a position to do it.
Wife says we will have to sell our house to pay her what she thinks she is owed but I have a daughter who will still be a dependant so I think this is nonsense? But then if we have to give her thousands I don't know how we could afford it.
Surly if our equity is split with her then her equity will also be split? Because their children are younger she says she won’t have to pay or sell the house.
If she runs up debt after they separated will those debts also be split even if they are solely in her name and even if my partner has paid all the debts off once?
If either party were to inherit money before the divorce would that also be split in the settlement?
At the end of the day my partner has really turned things around, paid of the joint debts and bought a new house with me. We don’t want anything from her but equally we don’t see why she should have any more from us that the law says she should have (we don’t dispute she is entitled to a share of his pension)
It makes me sick thinking she can get her hands on the money I saved for the deposit on our home and the money we save to make overpayments is going to line her pockets even more.
She is a nightmare to deal with in general!
Lots of questions I know but any advice would be welcome, thank you xx
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Comments
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flowerpower11 wrote: »
It makes me sick thinking she can get her hands on the money I saved for the deposit on our home and the money we save to make overpayments is going to line her pockets even more.
Oh my goodness, why on earth did you get a joint mortgage and mix your finances before your OH got a financial settlement out of the ex?
:(
Not a divorce expert, but how old are her kids, and how old are yours?0 -
I know, but we couldn't all live together in the tiny house I rented and renting somewhere bigger was too expensive.
My daughter is 14, his are 8 and 11.0 -
flowerpower11 wrote: »I could do with some advice pleased. I know this is long so please bear with me x
Husband and wife separated 3 years ago as wife had an affair. At the time there was around £27k of debt in husbands name as wife didn’t work during the 7 year marriage (wife got a job two months before separation) This debt was run up between them to pay for holidays and home purchases.
OK, so if the wife never worked, there might be an element of 'compensation' owed to her for stalling her career to be a stay at home mother
There are two children from the marriage.
How old are they? Still children? - Their needs will be important to a court, if it got that far.
Husband moved in with parents taking nothing of any value with him and starts paying CSA but also has to service the entire debt alone.
All joint accounts were closed but to do this husband has to pay off overdrafts but it was a small price to pay to know wife can’t add to the debt.
A year down the line wife wants husband off the mortgage as she is paying it but he is still a joint owner. They agree a sum of £7k to buy him out even though there is over £40k equity but that’s all she can afford and he wants to be off the mortgage in case she gets into arrears and it affects his credit rating (excellent as he never missed any payments)
And this did not form part of a formal financial agreement? Husband just did so, and left wife able to come back and claim for more??
This money is used to pay off some of the debt and over the next 18 months the debt is paid off apart from one loan which currently has two further years to run.
Husband and new partner (me) buy a house a year ago using the deposit I saved over 10 years. I have a grown up daughter and teenager who live with us and partner’s children stay every other weekend and during holidays.
Have you any documentation protecting your initial deposit should you and OH split up? Are you married to him? Are you joint tenants, or tenants in common on this mortgage?
My partner applied for a ‘no fault’ divorce based on two years separation but wife has flatly refused to agree until he agrees to give her 2/3 of his pension and ¼ of the value of our new house (I assume by this she means the equity which will be little more than the deposit after only a year)
So she now has a second bite of the cherry because the other arrangements made about debt and the equity in formal marital home were not made as part of a formal settlement?
My partner has worked for the same company for 26 years and will probably work there all his life, meaning around 49 years of pension contributions so it seems grossly unfair that she could think 2/3 of his pension is an appropriate amount to be given after 7 years of marriage.
She has no pension and although she says there is no equity in her house we are doubtful as on her salary she couldn’t raise a mortgage for the full value. Both our houses are worth roughly the same.
My partner pays me a set amount per month and I pay all the household bills, we save some money (in my name) for emergencies, home, outings and also so we can start to make small capital overpayments on our mortgage (essential as we want to reduce the term so we are mortgage free when we retire)
Bear in mind that because he lives with you, your OH's living costs will be assumed to be lower than if he were single - this plays into the ex wife's hands, as she can claim more in theory.
My partner only has a Christmas savings account with the Credit Union amounting to a few hundred ££s in December and no other savings or capital. He has a car valued at a few hundred pounds.
We cannot agree to wife’s demands and so we think we will have to wait until 5 years have elapsed and let the judge decide the financial settlement. Obviously this will mean a full disclosure of debt and assets.
I am hoping that only debts and assets acquired during the marriage would be taken into consideration, not those acquired after separation?
All debts and assets will be considered, although ultimately some will perhaps be 'ringfenced'. That's why it is worth getting a financial settlement as soon as possible, so that your hard work AFTER divorce doesn't enrich the ex.
So my questions are:
As she prolongs the divorce, is her entitlement to my partner’s pension also increasing year on year?
The pot of cash your OH has is increasing, her entitlement isn't increasing, as she's delaying it so much. If you massively add to your pension it might affect things
If anything happens to my partner I assume the pension would go entirely to her? (We have life insurance which I know would be paid to me to pay the mortgage off)
Not sure
If we make overpayments on our mortgage therefore increasing the equity are we going to have to hand over some of this to wife when finances are settled? Possibly. Would I be best to save that money in my name until the finances are settled which could be years away?
The idea was to reduce the interest on the mortgage so ideally we would want to make the overpayments as soon as we are in a position to do it.
Wife says we will have to sell our house to pay her what she thinks she is owed but I have a daughter who will still be a dependant so I think this is nonsense? But then if we have to give her thousands I don't know how we could afford it.
Courts like equality, so if you are both housed in places of equal value, then so much the better. I think you are probably correct that a court will not want to make you and your child homeless simply to pay off the ex.
Surly if our equity is split with her then her equity will also be split? Because their children are younger she says she won’t have to pay or sell the house.
Maybe. But this is all what SHE says. What does your legal representative say?
If she runs up debt after they separated will those debts also be split even if they are solely in her name and even if my partner has paid all the debts off once?
If she runs up debt, it'll make her look poorer at the time of financial disclosure. I wouldn't want to wait 5 years for this daft woman! I'd want her off the books ASAP!
If either party were to inherit money before the divorce would that also be split in the settlement?
Inheritances would have to be disclosed. Court may or may not decide to inlcude them in the marital pot.
At the end of the day my partner has really turned things around, paid of the joint debts and bought a new house with me. We don’t want anything from her but equally we don’t see why she should have any more from us that the law says she should have (we don’t dispute she is entitled to a share of his pension)
Unfortunately, the law varies in its interpretations according to the judge. Personally, I would avoid court if you can. Your situation is complex, and you really really need your own legal advice.
It makes me sick thinking she can get her hands on the money I saved for the deposit on our home and the money we save to make overpayments is going to line her pockets even more.
She is a nightmare to deal with in general!
Lots of questions I know but any advice would be welcome, thank you xx
Please, please get proper legal advice. It all sounds a bit of a mess if lots of informal arrangements have been made re the house and debts. Especially now you have mixed your finances with your OH.0 -
He needs legal advice - and to get on to it sooner rather than later.
Without answering everything hang onto this - it won't matter if he did it a year go, does it now, or does it in five years the process will be the same.
he needs to do it now.
He needs to file for divorce (he needs possession of the marriage certificate to do this).
A divorce is in three parts - the ending of the marriage, a children's arrangement, a financial settlement.
Personally I think you are mad buying a house with a married man and investing your hard earned money into his name - and the logistics and your impatience are irrelevant.
She is his next of kin - still - it depends if you are tenants in common or the other one, but if something happens to him you could end up fighting his wife and children for your own house!
For goodness sake educate yourself, wise up, and get that man divorced from her.0 -
Yep. What he said! ^0
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Thank you Rottensocks.
My partner has asked his solicitor some questions, most of the above really but they are taking theit time getting back to him as they only work part time.
When he accepted the £7k for the house he tried to protect himself from her coming back again for more money, I will have to check exactly what was in the paperwork but certainly it was done through a solicitor so hopefully it will be done right.
My deposit was not protected, I knew about deeds of trust but I never got one.
I am pretty sure we are beneficial joint tenants, if one of us die the house would pass to the survivor.
Can we proceed with the financial settlement when she won't return the divorce papers? We want rid of her ASAP too but she won't do anything if its what we want!
She blankly refuses to pay for a solicitor herself so I am not sure anything can be done until 5 years have passed, would a court decide the finances then?0 -
Sorry I don't seem to be able to thank anyone for some reason but I am grateful for your replies!0
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Seanymth
He has applied for the divorce already, has a solicitor, childrens's arrangements have been made although not officially in court, he pays maintanance via the CSA. The house would transfer to me if anything happened to him and life insurance is payable to me and vise versa.0 -
Can I suggest that you also take legal advice as to your own situation, independently.
Buying a house as a joint tenancy to someone who is still married really isa risky and you need to get it sorted. Not least as DD could end up homeless if you were to both die in a car crash etc.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
flowerpower11 wrote: »
She blankly refuses to pay for a solicitor herself
Ugh. How tiresome! So this is all just her own entitled ravings that have you frightened? At least if a solicitor had told her this was her entitlement there might be some substance to it (maybe!)
If I am honest, I think perhaps your OH should change his legal advisor to someone who will respond promptly. this stuff weighs on your mind, and you need answers.0
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