Financial settlement/divorce

flowerpower11

Suddenly I can thank.

Yes this is all about what she *thinks* she is entitled to and not advice from anyone who knows what they are talking about.

She is full of BS I'm afraid, makes a great deal of empty threats regarding the children and uses them very much against my partner to exercise her control.

We have legal cover as part of our home insurance, I don't suppose that would cover these issues? I will investigate.

I think I need a will.

Rottensocks

Most home insurance legal cover will exclude family court, but it is very much worth checking the small print!

Seanymph

You do.


If you die what happens to your child if he inherits the house? You aren't married - he won't necessarily get custody - your daughter could be homeless, in fact what then happens to her in your house when he gets a new partner? or reconciles with his old one? Far better to have left your 50% in trust for your daughter.

The eldest I believe is deemed to have died first - are you older than him? If you both die his WIFE inherits YOUR house if you are.


You really don't seem to have thought this through.


I would be VERY worried in your situation, he needs a will, and so do you - urgently.


You also need to protect your investment in this property.


If something happens to him, you aren't his next of kin - what if he's injured? His wife and children still have the financial claim on him - and no one cares who signs the cheque to pay the electric I'm afraid - you are bogging yourself down in the detail and not looking at the bigger picture.


You have tied yourself financially to a married man.

His wife will always take precedence over you (I learnt that the hard way).


I lived with a man who was in hospital, I phoned and got told to go away yet the wife he hadn't been with for two years got all the details when SHE phoned.

You have no status at all in his life.

flowerpower11

Oh dear, this is far worse than I thought. At least perhaps I have a chance to make things clearer now before anything dreadful happens, Thank you.

flowerpower11

I'm younger than him, at least that is something.

Seanymph

That could be anecdotal - but I am fairly sure I've been told it lots of times.


It's hard when you are all 'in love' and want to move things on, but really you should be protecting your child and yourself first - facilitating him second and getting rid of the wife urgently. It isn't up to you to provide an expanded home to accommodate him and his children to the detriment of you and yours.

Seanymph

http://www.seniormag.com/legal/simultaneous_death.htm


If you die within 30 days of each other then the remaining half goes to in your case your daughter and in his his wife.


You both inherit everything - does he want that? Does he want to pay a mortgage on a house for x years and have none of it go to his children? Do you want none of your house to go to your child?


How will you both provide for your respective children? I seem to recall someone once telling me that if he dies regardless of the will his children have a claim on the estate and can challenge it if he hasn't left 'adequate provision' for them. I suspect if he isn't divorced that will be through his wife.

Has he left 'adequate provision', have you?


Or have you both left it to each other and hoped the other person will do the right thing?

Because in your shoes I wouldn't want him to inherit the house my daughter lived in outright leaving her with nothing, and the person who is then going to raise her (her father? Your parents?) without the financial means to.

flowerpower11

You are quite right. I have some money saved for my children (I have tow but my eldest is 21) but certainly not enough make a huge impact on theor lives.

The truth is we did discuss this when the issue of which type of tenancy came up but we trusted each other to do the right thing if anything happened. I would never see his children left with nothing and he is of very high moral standing and would do the same, but it needs to be made official.

I will aim to make a will in the next few weeks. Do I need to make one on my own or jointly with him so we both know what would happen. I am sure we want the same outcome, neither of us would see our children or each other left with nothing.

Any idea on how much its likely to cost?

RAS

YOU need to take independent legal advice now.

I suggest you and OH speak to lawyers together re what you want form the wills; and have a very frank discussion before hand.

But make your will separately (there is a current discussion on the problems with mirrors on the probate forum).

flowerpower11

Thank you RAS.