Can't stop thinking about someone else

marisco_2

You are attracted to the idea of a man that you barely know. Your perceptions of him and the life he leads, in a city that it doesn't appear you are familiar with, are probably way off. Moscow is a beautiful city, I lived, studied and worked there for a few years. The tourist areas all of which are marketed to the rest of the world are stunning and breath taking. Brave it and venture just a tiny bit further out and you all too quickly see the realities, hardships and restrictions of Russian life.

The question really is do you want to stop thinking about him? If you do that then you have to start wondering why your head was turned so much, by a man you have spent so little time with. It also means facing whether you are really ready to commit to one person for the rest of your life, if you go ahead and get married in just a few months time.

Scrapaholic

You clicked with someone . He was different, attractive and new ! There's no chance of it going further so I'd think it was just a fantasy . If you think that's what it was then just accept it and go on with your own life . This could happen again . Just because you're married etc. doesn't mean you stop finding others attractive . It's what you do about it that matters .

gunsandbanjos

It doesn't matter where you get your appetite from as long as you go home for dinner.

**professor~yaffle**

LotusStar wrote: »

Not sure about a любимый as I've no idea what it mans, but he was definitely steamy!

It's pronounced lyoo-BEE-mee amd it means beloved or darling

LotusStar

Thanks for the replies!

Acid House, I was completely head-over-heels with OH when we met. I think part of the attraction with him also was that he is foreign, has a different mother tongue, was the unknown. Of course, there are no mysteries anymore and I can also speak his language fluently now. I think this is part of the attraction with the Russian guy, the mystery of a charming aquaintance.

Marisco, I'm under no illusion as to what real life in Moscow may be like. I've never been to the city, but I have been to Russia before. I also lived in Manila and Kuala Lumpur for several years and am currently outside the UK at the moment, so I'm no stranger to the non-Western world. And like I said, neither of us are single anyway, so in reality, nothing could happen, or not without causing one hell of a mess anyway.

paulineb_2

I think its natural to have crushes on people, engaged or not and I would imagine that a few people close to their wedding date might start subconsciously thinking, do they want to go through with it, Ive known of a few last flings shall we say before people walk down the aisle.

I agree with the post scrapaholic made. You actually dont know this man, hes married, you know very little about him and spent very little time with him, reality can be very different from fantasy.

LotusStar

Thanks Pauline, your post has made me feel a bit better!

AcidHouse

It sounds like the challenge of a mystery man gets your engines going and that's where the attraction is, along with the physical attraction.

Maybe this encounter reminded you of how you felt when you first met your OH.

As others are pointing out, you don't really know him for who he is. You're just wrapped up in the fantasy of what you think he is like in your head, not what he's really like away from a course, when he doesn't have to be nice to anyone and can scratch his nether regions on the sofa...

paulineb_2

AcidHouse wrote: »

It sounds like the challenge of a mystery man gets your engines going and that's where the attraction is, along with the physical attraction.

Maybe this encounter reminded you of how you felt when you first met your OH.

As others are pointing out, you don't really know him for who he is. You're just wrapped up in the fantasy of what you think he is like in your head, not what he's really like away from a course, when he doesn't have to be nice to anyone and can scratch his nether regions on the sofa...

Or leaves his dirty undies in a pile on the floor.

Bucket of cold water anyone?

Kynthia

Sounds like a harmless infatuation with someone where there is no risk of anything happening, so a safe way for you to 'indulge' mentally. I'm sure this will happen to many of us that love our partners and doesn't mean any more than those who fancy film stars. The only time to worry is if it happens with someone who is part of your life and where more could potentially happen. Then it's best to cut contact and stay away. Use this to reignite a few romantic times with your OH, reminisce and remember what attracted you to each other.