The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

[Deleted User]

me too yellowmonkey heading off soon for a 12 shift plus sleep in so I can declare 31/31 huge congrats to everyone

Honey_Bear

smiley_77 wrote: »

However when I go out with OH I feel like I'm cutting his night short when I go home as he feels he has to come with me. Keeping girls safe late at night etc.

It's tricky, balancing it all but it's possible with a bit of give and take on both sides, I think. My OH is rather inclined the other way and is quite happy for me to go home early, unless, of course, he's not really enjoying himself - when he becomes he chivalrous type who says he's going to escort me home. Either way is fine with me.

If your OH isn't happy about leaving early, can you get a taxi? You can always justify the expense by saying you're not spending the money drinking booze (or soft drinks) for the rest of the evening.

And then, of course, being cross about not being able to drink is a whole different thing. I just know I can't and that's that, but I think that comes with time. We were out last night and because OH has cut back so much since I stopped he got really, really hammered. Did I envy him? No. Do I envy him this morning? No. Was I tempted to drink? No. I even held his wine glass at one point for quite a while and for the first time I wasn't even slightly tempted by the feel of it in my hand and the scent of it. It's a huge, huge relief I don't do that any more. I hope you find that equilibrium realy soon because it just makes life so much easier.

It about 1000% easier than my old mantra of 'Shall I? Shan't I? I know I shouldn't but I soooooooo want one.'

I'm really impressed with everyone who's managed Dry January - good on you all. And for anyone who struggled with it and didn't make it right through until the end - as long as you cut out one single drink - you've made progress. I keep forgetting that I managed 20 days AF in January / February and without that under my belt I don't think I could have stayed stopped later in the year. It all helps.

31/31 please, Shaggy.

Barny1979

Target for February is 24 AFDs

piggles1

hi all

guess what! I've had another couple of AFDs so I'm on 20/18 AFD please shaggy so if I have none tonight I'll get my first 21 days smiley!!!

The reason I drank last night was a weird one. Because of meeting my friend next week and we've got to go to the pub, I worked out that if I held off till Monday then I'd have a drink both Monday and Wednesday, so I needed to get a drink day out of the way before next week, and then not drink till then. Well it made logical sense to me! I'm still not at the point where I can go very long without. I managed 4 days in a row though

The difficulty is that if I do drink I still go a bit over the top. 5-6 units is better than the 7+ it had crept up to, but still more than I'm aiming for really. There's a point when you're drinking that your brain switches from being careful to pouring out without thinking. I can always tell when it's arriving but it's too late by then.

I agree with the idea that's it's much easier to not drink at all and saves all the will I won't I stuff. The other night, one of my 4 AFDs in a row, I got the cranberry juice, then changed my mind, put it back and got the wine out, then put that back and got the cranberry again, and stood in the middle of the floor trying to decide. In the end I poured out the cranberry and after a couple of those I was happy watching something on the telly. But it was really hard, a big fight in my brain. Even just before I went to bed I couldn't write a 0 on the calendar because I wasn't sure I'd make it. I'm alwats glad when I do though.

Honey Bear a thing I forgot to say, I only have a pub and a shop here, no museums or cafes, and my friend wouldn't want to do that anyway, and we can't go for a walk in the dark, so pub it is but I can hear the birds because it's so quiet here

Smiley, keep going with your own AFD goals Other people won't necessarily be in the same place about alcohol. Some of us have a real struggle with it whereas a lot of people don't and don't see it from the same viewpoint.

I think a lot depends on the reasons for starting in the first place. Many people drink because of their social group, and as that changes they naturally slow down and drink less. Almost everyone does that in the end, but some of us go through an uphill struggle way before then. I think the fact you're making an effort with it means you're ahead of the game in that sense, and the evenings you can control because you're not out are valuable, and you're doing really well already and probably have a high figure for this month

Also, massive well done to everyone and the dry January people :T

cathybird

yellowmonkey wrote: »

Just like to add my appreciation to Shaggy for keeping the score. I did it on here in the early days so know how difficult it can be sometime's so "Thank you".

Yes to this and a big thank you to Shaggy from me too.

ManPants

Evening All,

We're having people for dinner tonight.
As is customary I'm chomping at the bit for a flagon of wine following on from a few stiff gins prior. Other Half has some prosecco chilling too.
Currently pacing.
Up & down stairs, brushed my teeth twice, drank water etc.

Last night of "Dry January" & within AA they've told me to focus on staying alcohol free for today only. I obviously know that tomorrow is Feb and I need to start "Dry Feb" too but again a day at a time including tonight.

So

Calling in my last AF night for Jan taking me to 27/31 AF for the month. Not actually dry but a massive improvement on December.

Hope you are all well and happy and as dry as you need to be tonight.

SPS X

satchmo1

30/31 AFDs to end the month. Disappointed I didn't manage the whole month, but it's still a great achievement.

debjay

31/31 please. Well done everyone for this month whether completing the whole month or not giving up if had the odd bump in the road. Thanks also to Shaggy for keeping score :T

maggiesoup1

Poor Stupotsu... I feel your pain... and having friends round for dinner you could easily have made this an excuse for telling yourself that because you'd done so well this month you deserve this reward. It's always the "reward" bit that I find hardest to overcome and always seems justified!

I've not been AF for the last 4 nights, nothing horrendous but I definitely could have had one night AF and didn't so this afternoon persuaded partner to go a nice long walk ( in freezing cold, bless him) then I had to go into the office for a bit so decided to cycle (it's only 20 mins on the bike) but caught in a downpour on the way back so I was feeling very sorry for myself and the remaining half bottle of chilled white was definitely going to be my reward!

I too paced around the kitchen for half an hour, kept checking out the clock, took the bottle out of the fridge then put it back again. By 5.15pm I thought I was going to crumble until I decided that the only way forward was just to have a VERY early dinner... its been a while since I've had dinner at 5.30pm!! Thankfully that .... and LOTS of willpower, seemed to have done the trick. I'm now on my 3rd cup of tea with a choccy bisc probably followed by another two cups before bed but hey ho better to be up a few times to the loo than have finished the wine and started a new month feeling I'd let myself down.

Well done everyone who got through the month part or fully AF, I think you all deserve a pat on the back as it's been tough. February, here we come.....

AlexLK

Stayed AF for the remainder of January, so +3, I think.

For February may I have 25 days, please?