The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Barny1979

8/20 AFDs for last night

Honey_Bear

I'm so pleased for you Elusive Lucy and MaggieM, I really am; I couldn't be happier for you.

I used to try to keep up with everyone else and I'd got to the stage where I dreaded nights out because I knew there was a good chance I'd let myself down and there was a 100% chance I'd feel terrible the next day. In reality, after a heavy night I felt terrible for three days but I didn't realise that until I stopped drinking. Suddenly I had oceans of time to do things, which was the first revelation about how much alcohol had taken over my life. And even then, as I've said before, it was just a really bad habit, not an addiction.

There's a lot of nonsense talked about booze but the sooner we can nip what could be a problem in the bud, the better. One of the bits of reading I did (and I did a lot) was, 'If you think you have a problem with alcohol - you do.' Getting consumption under control for most of us is just a case of breaking the habit. I'm still not sure if I could drink in moderation but I'm enjoying this new alcohol-free life too much to want to risk going back to drinking, so it's a moot point for me despite feeling a very occasional urge to have a glass of wine or a G&T. Do I miss it? No. Did I enjoy it while I did it? Very much, until I didn't any more.

It's about 10 years since I stopped smoking and only now am I at the stage where I find the smell of it unattractive, so I'm figuring it'll be about 10 years before the temptation to have a swig or three will finally be gone, but that's okay too. I'm already regularly surprised at how often I realise I haven't thought about drinking for weeks, despite posting here every day.

11/31 please Shaggy.

Arkers

Good Afternoon Everyone,

HB

read your comments regarding "if you think you have a problem with alcohol - you do," I read this and it made me think what is a happy medium? I have cut right back, and I am at month 14 of my journey. However I still really enjoy a drink, but when I do drink, on average 2 x per week I tend to drink way more then I should. I'm not a person who can open a bottle and put one of those trendy stoppers in and put it in the fridge. I tend to open a bottle, and finish it. However I now believe that I have the option on when I do this as opposed to a reliance. Do I still have a problem? an objective bystander may label me a binge drinker. However I think I've stepped back from the precipice.

I spoke to my friend who drinks, and she thinks she drinks too much, and she probably does, but she doesn't think she has a problem with alcohol as she doesn't have a vodka with her cornflakes. It's a very personal problem, and I'm worried for her.

6 AFD please Shaggy x
Arkers x

Barny1979

9/20 AFDs today

Green_Karen

Not really doing very well this month. Still stuck on 2/14 AF days. Have been away with work last week and most of next week too, so not good.
Seeing the positive though, 2 is a start and better than I was managing before.
I think it's probably good for me to report in even if I haven't really got off the starting block.

PriceySOS

9 please, Shaggy, ta

Dizzy_Imp

8/25 please Shaggy x

smiley_77

Well happy weekend everybody. I am reporting 9/12.I won't meet my target this month. OH has been stopping at mine and he has been drinking on an evening. I find it hard to unwind without a drink when I work long hours. Sometimes I only have an hour before finishing work and bed. He wants to spend it together watching tv but if I do I can't sleep. So I spent the hour with him and had a drink to knock me out. Now I type this I realise how lame it sounds. I know it isn't 'good' sleep when you drink. I have tried to explain it to OH but he doesn't understand.

cathybird

Didn't touch a drop yesterday so 9/15 for me. Shaggy, I wonder whether I could raise my target this month to 21? I'm approaching 15 pretty quickly.

Honey_Bear

Arkers wrote: »

read your comments regarding "if you think you have a problem with alcohol - you do," I read this and it made me think what is a happy medium? I have cut right back, and I am at month 14 of my journey. However I still really enjoy a drink, but when I do drink, on average 2 x per week I tend to drink way more then I should. I'm not a person who can open a bottle and put one of those trendy stoppers in and put it in the fridge. I tend to open a bottle, and finish it. However I now believe that I have the option on when I do this as opposed to a reliance. Do I still have a problem? an objective bystander may label me a binge drinker. However I think I've stepped back from the precipice.

I spoke to my friend who drinks, and she thinks she drinks too much, and she probably does, but she doesn't think she has a problem with alcohol as she doesn't have a vodka with her cornflakes. It's a very personal problem, and I'm worried for her.

You're probably right to be concerned for your friend's drinking if you've noticed there's an issue but there's nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do about it. Honestly. It's her issue, she's already said she thinks she drinks too much so she knows, but you telling her would only make her defensive and that's unhelpful. Noticing her behaviour around alcohol has probably made you more sensitive to the issue of drinking so you can at least learn something from it.

I don't know whether you have a problem, and the only person other than you who might would be a doctor but, even then, you're the one affected by the alcohol not the doctor.

It is accepted that quite a large proportion of people who are asked about their drinking by their doctors don't tell the truth. An anaesthetist asked me how much I drank just as she was about the knock me out for surgery so I told her I drank more than the recommended maximum. She said I was the first person who had ever told her that. She didn't ask because she was nosy, she asked because she needed to know how much gas to give me. I rather thought most people would be bright enough to tell the truth under those circumstances, but apparently not. So, I think it's safe to say that doctors know that most people are in denial about how much they drink and don't expect people to be honest.

If you want to know if you have a problem this is the best guide I found when I was thinking about whether I should give up booze, but it's important to read the information about what the scores mean. Out of 26 questions I scored 13 and that meant I had to accept I had a serious problem, despite my intial reaction being, 'Well, if it's only 13 that's only half so I don't have a problem.' The background reading on my score indicated that I was teetering on the precipice so thank goodness I stopped when I did.

https://www.ncadd.org/get-help/take-the-test/am-i-alcoholic-self-test

It's Amercian but it's very carefully structured and well thought through, which even two years on when I retook it this morning having finally found it for this post this time, being a bit more honest, I scored 14. That's significantly more serious apparently than my score of 13 which I now understand.

Looking for that link, which I knew I'd posted, I reread quite a lot of my posts from the first 50 to 60 days of stopping drinking. I've somehow managed to conveniently forget that I did have withdrawal symptoms when I gave up drinking which took me quite a while to identify, but are collectively known as PAWS: Post-acute withdrawal syndrome. I'd totally forgotten about that, and was probably in denial about it at the time, too. Frightening. So, there you go, you probably aren't an alcoholic but it appears that I probably am because I did go through withdrawal. That's an uncomfortable thought but I'm not sure using the word is particularly helpful even now.

smiley_77 wrote: »

I have tried to explain it to OH but he doesn't understand.

Smiley, it sounds as though you are going through a tricky time with your relationship with your OH. It also sounds as though you're finding it difficult to relax with him and that you're probably tense when he's there. We all need our sleep. Maybe taking a step back and looking at that might be a way forward. You're not being lame, you're trying to work out how to deal with something. (((hugs)))

12/30 please, Shaggy.