The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

sukeyboo

Dizzy_Imp wrote: »

I can only drop one day if I want to hit target this month and it's half-term to add more stress into the mix. Wish me luck!

Good luck Dizzy - hope you make it to target.

I don't think I will make it this month as it would mean me being AF for the rest of the month and being realistic that isn't going to happen

Declaring early for tonight on 11/15 and can I set my target for November at 12 please Shaggy

Honey_Bear

maman wrote: »

I agree HB there are lots of ways to pass off not drinking if necessary. The trouble is (especially when it's a customer/client) is that it's hard not to imply criticism of their drinking habits. I've usually said 'empty calories' (which is true) but you could hardly say that to an overlarge customer;).

Totally true, Maman, and that's hugely problematic. The relentless pressure on people to drink is hideous. It would be so helpful if we lived in Narnia where it isn't an issue but even I live in the real world, and it's a huge issue for people who are stuck in a place where the drinking culture is having a negative impact on their lives.

What I think I was driving at was finding strategies to help mitigate saying, 'I'd rather not pour unwanted gallons of alcohol down my neck tonight, thank you' without offending people - which seems remarkably easy to do.

It didn't happen very often when I gave up but sly, unhelpful, almost accusuatory comments occurred often enough for me to understand that my abstaining was in some way taken as aggressive criticism of their drinking. It wasn't, obviously, it was my problem I was struggling with, but apparently that wasn't an acceptable reason if those people hadn't witnessed my anti-social behaviour. (OH had and he never said a word to anyone.)

No one says anything about it now which is a relief, and my not drinking is accepted as normal and sometimes even helpful if it means I'm doing the driving for them. (It's only very recently that I've understood that the reason I'm not tempted to go back to the booze, even if I get a yearning for a glass of red with pizza occasionally, is that I just love the freedom of not drinking but I don't know how many other people share that feeling. I do wonder, sometimes, if I might be able to get away with drinking occasionally, but I'm just too conscious of how easy it would be to slip back into old destructive habits, so I don't go there.)

The only criticism I have of my drinking buddies is that they can sometimes get carried away and become a bit boring or, very occasionally, rather aggressive and I really don't like that.

My problem with people being defensive and making it difficult for other people to cut down or cut out booze is that if the naggers are those that are worried about being judged because of their anti-social behaviour, they're in denial (which is a whole thing in itself, obviously) and undermining the people who are trying to change thier lives without it affecting anyone else, negatively or positively, in reality.

It really is no-one else's business if we decide to cut down, cut back or cut out booze and being criticised or judged negatively for it is unjust. Being forced to drink because it's expected is just plain bad manners, as well.

In this day and age staff being expected to drink when they don't want to because of work should be totally unacceptable. There's something very wrong with that culture.

/rant over!

Dizzy_Imp wrote: »

ooh, ooh...got another four AFDs to report up to and including tonight. Takes me to 20/25 I think?

I can only drop one day if I want to hit target this month and it's half-term to add more stress into the mix. Wish me luck!

Masses of good luck with it, Dizzy. You can do it!

26/31 please, Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Afternoon :hello:

2 more AFDs for Monday & Tuesday.



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

debtnav wrote: »

Can I join you guys for November please. Need a completely AF month before tests at the end.
Target 30/30.

You're on the list and Good Luck!

shaggydoo

October

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF
= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= target achieved


Alcohol Free Days
Arkers 11/15
Barny1979 12/20
Be The Change 20/31
CathyBird 15/15
CuppaTea 13/18
DebJay 25/31
DizzyImp 20/25
ElusiveLucy 12/16
GreenKaren 11/14
Honey Bear 26/31

LuckyLise /18
Maman 13/10
Mobo 7/22
NewMe 9/TF
Pricey 13/15

Sandypan /21
Shaggy 17/17
StopLurking 7/TF
SukeyBoo 11/15

TopGirl 6/22

WBF 5/10


Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

shaggydoo

October

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF
= 28 days AF

= 30 days AF

= target achieved


Alcohol Free Days
Arkers

Barny1979

Be The Change /24

CathyBird

CuppaTea

DebJay /15

Debt Now /30

DizzyImp /25

ElusiveLucy

GreenKaren /14

Honey Bear /30

LuckyLise

Maman /10

Mobo

NewMe

Pricey /22

Sandypan

Shaggy /17

StopLurking

SukeyBoo /12

TopGirl 6/22

WBF /14


Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

shaggydoo

Roll up, Roll up. A New Month, A New Challenge.

SET A

30 days up for grabs!

Everyone Welcome!!!

Barny1979

13/20 AFDs today

cathybird

Honey_Bear wrote: »

It would be so helpful if we lived in Narnia where it isn't an issue

Hey but even Mr Beaver drank huge jugs of beer from a barrel he and Mrs Beaver kept in their house!

Meanwhile, I thought I should mention I'm now away till Nov though I will be checking in with this thread on most days and you never know, I might even manage one or two extra AFDs.

Good luck Dizzy, I am sure you can do it.

debjay

26/31 for tonight please.