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Is this website dodgy?

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The site is called *oneclickchicksforum*, it is a voyeuristic site, where (mainly men ) post photos of naked women.

Now I know that men *look* and it is natural, but this site seems very seedy, and I lack a sense of appropriateness, as all but two of my dad’s friends used to grope me as a teen, so I grew up thinking all men were pervs, and not to be trusted.

So my husband is on this site (I checked by putting his password in the lost password form).

I know he filmed naked women, in secret, when on holiday with his ex, and that they were swingers, discovering this has made me more insecure.

Our sex life is currently non-existent, as he has trouble finishing, and I felt so rejected and useless, I just gave up.

I have no evidence of any wrong doing, but I did find two bottles of poppers in his cupboard, which he swore he bought but never intended to take.

I just want some reassurance that I am a paranoid, insecure idiot.
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Comments

  • 19lottie82
    19lottie82 Posts: 6,029 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I know he filmed naked women, in secret, when on holiday.

    eh....... that's creepy and wrong, not to mention illegal.

    you have no evidence of any wrong doing NOW, but it doesn't sound the best tbh, sorry!
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    The site is called *oneclickchicksforum*, it is a voyeuristic site, where (mainly men ) post photos of naked women.

    Now I know that men *look* and it is natural, but this site seems very seedy, and I lack a sense of appropriateness, as all but two of my dad’s friends used to grope me as a teen, so I grew up thinking all men were pervs, and not to be trusted.

    So my husband is on this site (I checked by putting his password in the lost password form).

    I know he filmed naked women, in secret, when on holiday with his ex, and that they were swingers, discovering this has made me more insecure.

    Our sex life is currently non-existent, as he has trouble finishing, and I felt so rejected and useless, I just gave up.

    I have no evidence of any wrong doing, but I did find two bottles of poppers in his cupboard, which he swore he bought but never intended to take.

    I just want some reassurance that I am a paranoid, insecure idiot.

    No you dont sound like a paranoid insecure idiot, he sounds like the idiot.
  • Cotta
    Cotta Posts: 3,667 Forumite
    Poppers???
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Cotta wrote: »
    Poppers???

    http://www.talktofrank.com/drug/poppers

    Poppers.
  • barbarawright
    barbarawright Posts: 1,846 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    OK, this may not be something you want to think about, but has he ever taken photos of you that he may now be posting online?
  • Cotta
    Cotta Posts: 3,667 Forumite
    OK, this may not be something you want to think about, but has he ever taken photos of you that he may now be posting online?

    I'm worried about this now too.
  • 19lottie82 wrote: »
    eh....... that's creepy and wrong, not to mention illegal.

    There's nothing illegal about filming in a public place.*

    Morally wrong? Yes. Illegal? No.

    *Assuming this was a public place and where the holiday was has similar laws to Britain.
  • Bazey
    Bazey Posts: 8,230 Forumite
    Yes, and what is his username?
  • LEJC
    LEJC Posts: 9,618 Forumite
    edited 6 January 2014 at 3:57PM
    ive no idea whether the website is dodgy or not...and ive no interest in looking at it either.
    For a relationship to flourish there needs to be mutual trust and appreciation of eachother....I dont think you have this with your OH if you are questioning his behaviour in this way.
    If it were me I dont think any relationship that was this "alternative" would be able to survive...I guess its up to you to decide if you are happy with the lifestyle choices your partner makes...if you can accomodate them thats your decision.

    Possibly your husband has issues himself which prevent him from maintaining a more conventional relationship...which is why he sees the potential need for poppers etc...whould it be worth him talking to a therepist or getting some proper professional help?
    frugal October...£41.82 of £40 food shopping spend for the 2 of us!

    2017 toiletries challenge 179 out 145 in ...£18.64 spend
  • barbarawright
    barbarawright Posts: 1,846 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    There's nothing illegal about filming in a public place.*

    Morally wrong? Yes. Illegal? No.

    *Assuming this was a public place and where the holiday was has similar laws to Britain.

    I find it hard to believe that any public nudist beach doesn't have rules about no photography. Most swimming pools in this country do. If it was legal, why was he doing it secretly?
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