Parental control issues with separated parents

littleredhen

Thanks for everyone's advice and opinions I have edited this post

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd have no qualms about an intelligent 12 year old seeing a 15 rated film and absolutely none about a 10 year old being in the cinema with a 12, 14 and two 15 year olds.

Nadstar

I thought that 12a was an extension of PG, ie, those over 12 can watch as per and those below are able to so long as they have adult with them. So a 12yro would not need additional supervision? Certainly, I have taken my far, far younger daughter into 12a rated films and nobody batted an eyelid.

peachyprice

I think you're being a little over protective regarding the film ratings TBH. It's not like they left a 10yo by themselves to watch the film, I'm sure if they were distressed one of the 15yo's were quite capable of taking them outside.

themull1

My daughters are nearly 15(she watches cert 18) and 11.5 she watches cert 15. I did the same when I was young, my parents weren't too bothered.

GobbledyGook

I use film ratings as a guide rather than a rule. My cousin's 12 year old watched a 15 film with us over Christmas as it was a film she could easily understand and enjoy and there are some PG films I wouldn't let my younger DD watch as she'd be scared by them. I also don't see the issue with leaving the children in the cinema with two 15 year olds and a 14 year old assuming the two are sensible enough to keep an eye on the younger two.

Parental controls on internet devices would be an issue. Not quite so much for the 15 year old (mostly as I think most 15 year olds can easily navigate PC's) but for the 12 year old.

Lieja

Purely regarding whether or not you can do anything about, simple answer is unless he's willing to agree with you, then no.

My OH has issues with some of the stuff his daughter's mum thinks is acceptable and he doesn't. Bottom line is they disagree and there's nothing he can do about it!

FBaby

At our local cinema, children can go and see a film alone from the age of 8.

peachyprice

Lieja wrote: »

Purely regarding whether or not you can do anything about, simple answer is unless he's willing to agree with you, then no.

My OH has issues with some of the stuff his daughter's mum thinks is acceptable and he doesn't. Bottom line is they disagree and there's nothing he can do about it!

Very true. There are things my ex did when my boys were younger that I disagreed with and I know that he now thinks I give them far too much freedom, but when they're with him it's his way and when they're with me it's mine.

OP unless you can prove the children have come to harm whilst in his care you cannot dictate how he parents them when they are with him.

iammumtoone

Unless your ex is breaking the law then there is nothing you can do, the ages are for guidance not law.

I get the same issues with my ds he says "but I can do that at Daddies" and I am sure ex gets it in reserve, its want most children say whether their parents are separated of not. I have friends who are married and they moan that they hear the same thing, one parent is more lenient than the other.

fluffnutter

If you and your ex can't agree that's still no reason for you to change your stance. Every parent is slightly different, if your children spend time with other adults, e.g. grandparents, I bet their rules are different again. In an ideal world every adult in a child's life would have the same approach, but modern life's not that neat.

Just say to your kids - 'That's fine, that's what dad does, but I do it slightly differently' and carry on with whatever controls you're comfortable with.