Would you tell a child that NRP does not pay for them?

Edwardia

Person_one wrote: »

You'd think these fathers were keeping their children secret from their new wives until after the wedding.

You knew what you were getting into, if you don't want responsibility for a partner's child, don't date dads!

Actually I had no idea that he had a daughter until several years after we were married and I had no idea and neither did he that during the time between when she left him and the divorce she went on to have three other kids with the man she left him for and gave them his name as father so they could get British citizenship :eek:

Even if I had known about her, no way would I give up my hard-earned income for another woman's children.

poet123

Edwardia wrote: »

Actually I had no idea that he had a daughter until several years after we were married and I had no idea and neither did he that during the time between when she left him and the divorce she went on to have three other kids with the man she left him for and gave them his name as father so they could get British citizenship :eek:

Even if I had known about her, no way would I give up my hard-earned income for another woman's children.

I would be worried if my husband had kept that a secret from me.

CRANKY40

You are wrong. Maintenace cannot be backdated by CSA, it becomes due from the date the form is issued to the non resident parent, it isn't even backdated to the date that the parent with care applies. Also, previously, both incomes were used to assess how much of a contribution towards joint housing costs each person (non resident parent and new partner) were liable to pay, so effectively they were used to calculate the non resident parent's disposable income. This is no longer applicable, as the partners income is disregarded and the non resident parent was given all housing costs (mortgage/rent) to be offset against their income when calculating their disposable income. Since the new system came into effect it's not applicable anyway, and this case would be assessed under the new system rules.

It has also always been the case that the non resident parent's partner could refuse to provide income details. Under the old system this would have resulted in an interim assessment type "B".

clearingout

Edwardia wrote: »

Sorry have to disagree. Having YOUR income assessed by CSA to support another woman's children merely because you moved in with the man you love is not fair.

The previous kids are the joint responsibility of him and the mother of the children, not in any way the legal responsibility of the new partner.

Pre 2003 that wasn't recognised by the CSA.

and yet pre or post 2003, if the PWC moved in with another person, that person's income would be included as part of their household income. So...post 2003, my new partner has to support my children, by default, but you don't have to support mine at all, ever.

Errata

poet123 wrote: »

I would be worried if my husband had kept that a secret from me.

I wouildn't, I'd be horrified and demanding to know what he thought he was playing at.

clearingout

Edwardia wrote: »

Actually I had no idea that he had a daughter until several years after we were married and I had no idea and neither did he that during the time between when she left him and the divorce she went on to have three other kids with the man she left him for and gave them his name as father so they could get British citizenship :eek:

Even if I had known about her, no way would I give up my hard-earned income for another woman's children.

Sorry to sound incredulous, particularly as my own situation has more than the average number of '!!!!!!' moments in it...but you believe that? Is it that easy to gain British citizenship? Just a father's name required?

And yet again, you won't give up your hard earned income but I feel quite sure you will expect any partner of your partner's ex to give up his hard-earned income to support a child he has 'taken on'.

And I struggle to understand the attraction of a man who hides the fact he has children. But I guess it takes all sorts.

silvercar

clearingout wrote: »

and yet pre or post 2003, if the PWC moved in with another person, that person's income would be included as part of their household income. So...post 2003, my new partner has to support my children, by default, but you don't have to support mine at all, ever.

But that is part and parcel of having you, as you have the kids living with you. It would be a bit odd,to say the least, if the kids ate value baked beans while you and new partner sat at the table eating luxury food.

lostinrates

Edwardia wrote: »

Actually I had no idea that he had a daughter until several years after we were married and I had no idea and neither did he that during the time between when she left him and the divorce she went on to have three other kids with the man she left him for and gave them his name as father so they could get British citizenship :eek:

Even if I had known about her, no way would I give up my hard-earned income for another woman's children.

Its not another woman's children in question, surely most people would agree that a fathe has reaponsibility to his children ( or children he raises as his).

But the daughter IS your husband's child.

I think your posts on this subject are brave, I cannot imagine how I'd feel about the revelation of a child or the fact she wasn't in his life and he not in hers. All these things would be tremendously huge to overcome.

clearingout

silvercar wrote: »

But that is part and parcel of having you, as you have the kids living with you. It would be a bit odd,to say the least, if the kids ate value baked beans while you and new partner sat at the table eating luxury food.

I'm sorry, I'm not really sure I understand that?

poet123

Errata wrote: »

I wouildn't, I'd be horrified and demanding to know what he thought he was playing at.

Quite. However, some of us have to be more circumspect these days!!;)