Learning to think like a frugal person

ForMyGirls

Day 5 of the Beck Diet Solution is about eating slowly and mindfully. I see it as a bit of an extension of Day 3 (eating sitting down). It does have some extra elements - because eating slowly means you will notice you are full more often than when you eat fast. But I don't see how it translates to the world of money because there isn't an equivalent to "full" in the land of spending. Or is there? Any thoughts gladly accepted.

So for the moment I'm treating my two strategies from Day 3 - ie: enter it into the budget system before I spend it - and buy only one "indulgence" at a time when I have time to savour it - as fullfilling the requirements of Day 5. Let's call it "spend deliberately and mindfully". Very open to suggestions on this one though.

Edit on 26 January 2014:
Chanie and Mizmir came up with some great strategies which I am now inserting as Day 5 (I can't quite recall which days they used them for - there are posts from them later in this thread where you will see their thinking - but for now what I would suggest you do for Day 5 is:

Pause, Plan, Pay - when you are tempted to / thinking about buying something follow this mantra.
1. pause - while paused ask yourself "do I already have something that can do what this does?" or maybe "is this something that I need or want enough to forgo other things I also need or want?"
2. Plan - think about the most cost effective way to obtain the thing you are contemplating spending money on. Is there somewhere you could get it (or a reasonable substitute) for free, or for a cheaper price?
3. Pay - if after that thinking you still want to spend the money then go ahead, doing so in the most cost effective way you came up with!

Day 5 checklist:
1. I read my ARC twice
2. I used my "stop impulse spending" and "savouring" strategies - every time? Most of the time? Some of the time
3. I used "Pause, plan, pay" - every time? Most of the time? Some of the time?
4. I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful spending behaviours - every time? most of the time? some of the time?

ForMyGirls

Day 6 - this is where you guys come in!

In the weightloss arena Beck recommends finding a diet coach. She suggests speaking with your coach at least weekly and more often if you need to so you can share your credits, brainstorm your way around challenges and report in about your weightloss or gains along the way.

As I mentioned briefly in an earlier post my diet coaches are the fabulous folk on the Beck Diet Solution forum on the 3 fat chicks on a diet site. I do not think I would have gotten this far without them! Most of the time I check in daily but other folk there do so more intermittently.

So when I got to Day 6 of my money adaptation I thought it time to find a community of folk who are tackling the same financial challenges. In a beautiful 'full circle' moment it was one of my 3FC friends who recommended MSE!

So at the risk of being presumptuous - I'm hoping you'll all be my budget coaches. And I'm hoping I can return the favour by being yours.

Day 6 checklist:
1. I read my ARC twice
2. I used my "stop impulse spending" and "savouring strategies - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
3. I used pause, plan, pay - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
4. I gave myself credit for helpful spending behaviours - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
5. I decided on a diet coach or support group
6. I took steps to line up support.

pandora205

How interesting - both for weight loss and budgeting. I've subscribed and ordered the book. Susan Beck is the daughter of Aaron Beck who is the father of CBT so she should know what she's doing! I have training in CBT but have not thought about using on myself for weight (or financial) management, so time to find out more.

I'm looking forward to following your journey FMG.

Mrs_Cheshire

FMG happy to be your budget coach, we'll all help each other along!

iammumtoone

I've been looking more at ynab, could someone tell me if you can enter direct debits etc to automatically budget each month or do you have to enter these manually every month, I can see it getting a bit tedious if you do. Thanks

I looking forward to starting in two weeks and joining you FMG

chanie

I've been thinking about this today and am ready to take the plunge.

ADVANTAGES RESPOSE CARD (using positive language). This will be typed up and stuck in my diary.

My money will work for me, not the other way around. This will allow me to:
Have less stress in my life as I will have one less thing to worry about
Allow us to save up for our children's future
Help me to feel more secure
Have a holiday abroad once a year - the children loved Spain in 2013
Allow us all to have nice things and treats
Create opportunities for nice memories likes days out
Help loved ones

chanie

Choosing budgeting systems

I already have these, although I'm not good at following through, so I need to be stricter with myself.

Weekly budget - I give myself £10 a week 'pocket money'. This is for milk for work or washing up liquid on the way home. I normally save whatever pound coins I have at the end of the week for treats. I take the money out as soon as I am paid and take.

Miscellaneous spends - I buy Xmas presents etc throughout the year. I will set up a standing order (amount tbc) to my savings account so I'm forced to use cash, which I will keep in a special purse.

ForMyGirls

Hello pandora205 - it will be great to have someone trained in CBT in the conversation. I will be very interested to hear your thoughts on my best guesses at how to adapt this program!

iammumtoone - yep - you can do recurring transaction in YNAB - it automatically enters them into the register and then higlights them for you to 'approve' (a simply tick and flick exercise) which makes it easy to adjust if there is some change to the usual amount. I had forgotten that YNAB was expensive - I am to software what most women are to shoes so no small amount of my accumulated debt is attributable to 'really cool apps I couldn't possibly live without'!

Mrs Cheshire - thanks for saying yes to being my coach

chanie - love your ARC and great work thinking about your budgeting system

ForMyGirls

I'm doing Day 9 at the moment so my posts are almost caught up with real time. For those of you joining me I encourage you to do a day at a time to let each step settle in properly. Some steps might even take more than a day (as Day 9 is for me, but more on that later).

Day 7 - arrange your environment

Not too much adaptation required on this one. In the weightloss version it is about removing temptation (or at least making it less visible). Not buying unhealthy food, or if you are sharing your home with people who want to have that stuff around, then agreeing to have it stored in places where you won't see it when you open the pantry to cook a healthy dinner! (Beck also has some great tips on how to handle munchies in the work kitchen!) This is going well for me in the weightloss world. I have a packet of Lindt balls which I sometimes have 3 of as one of my 3 a week 'indulgences' (ie: cake or chocolate or ice-cream or alcohol). They are tucked up at the back where I can't see them. There's a packet that has been there since late November. There was a time, not so long ago, when the choc chips for baking got eaten within a day of arrival so a lot has changed in my approach to chocolate in the pantry.

Enough about food though - in the budgetary domain I am taking a similar approach - try to limit my exposure to temptation by limiting my exposure to marketing. (I am such a sucker for marketing - even new packaging can convince me that something is a "must have"). So I am going to progressively unsubscribe from email mailing lists and a few hard copy catalogues that come my way. I also shop in a very targeted way - I use a spreadsheet that has the grocery aisles entered so I only have to go to the aisles where I need stuff - which limits the "oh - that cheese grater is so much cooler than the one I already have that works just fine" factor). I don't watch much commercial TV either so there isn't much exposure there.

As with everything there will be landmines that I haven't thought of but the thing with the CBT approach is that I will notice them (sometimes before I am suckered in and sometimes only afterwards) but either way I'll know so that I can either eliminate exposure or work out a way to resist them.

Day 7 checklist:
1. I read my ARC twice
2. I used my "stop impulse spending" and "savouring strategies - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
3. I used pause, plan, pay - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
4. I gave myself credit for helpful spending behaviours - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
5. I made changes to my work and home environments to remove spending temptations?

ForMyGirls

I found Day 8 really hard both for weight loss and for budgeting - so this will be one of my less up-beat posts!

The theory goes that losing weight (or living within one's means) takes extra time - at least at first - and that in order to succeed one has to realistically plan how to make that time. There are some great tools in the book for mapping out your day and working out where there is spare time - and for thinking about your priorities so that if there isn't spare time you can work out which activities can be sacrificed. Beck talks about the fact that sometimes this might involve accepting that you can't do some things as well as you would like, that you might not be able to give other people as much time as you like, and that you might need to delegate / ask for help from your family.

So to share a little of my challenges with this day. I work a demanding full-time job (which, fortunately, I love, but that means it is very easy for it to become more than full-time). I have two early primary school aged children. I only have them in my care every second week which means the demands of caring for them is not as great as for many Mums - but it does mean that when they are with me I want to make the absolute most of the time. All of that means that I am pretty time poor. Doing this scheduling exercise is in part completely terrifying because I realise that I do actually need to make use of every moment from 6am to 10pm every weekday or it all falls apart. But then again it is sort of reassuring to realise that the fact that it does fall apart sometimes is not because I am useless or slack but because there really isn't any wriggle room.

I have identified that being budget concious is going to require additional time because:
- I won't be able to buy the kids enough clothes (particularly school uniforms) that I can wait till the weekend to do laundry. I will need to do a load of washing on Tuesday and Thursday evenings;
- I have changed from driving to work to a combination of riding my bike and public transport (I actually did this about a week before my lightbulb moment in response to a 120% increase in parking fees at my workplace that even in my pre-frugal days I couldn't stomach!) It saves heaps of money (petrol, parking and less frequent car servicing) but adds about 40 minutes each way to my commute (20 of this I can use reading work documents on my iPad, but that is still 40 minutes out of my work days). It turns out I really like this version of commuting - it is much more peaceful than the drive and means I am getting exercise in as well - so in fact it is probably only 10 minutes a day I am losing on the days I would be walking 30 minutes for exercise anyway.

When I came to doing the scheduling this time around I also wanted to factor in a couple of other things I have been trying to achieve in the last few months (and not succeeding so well) - principally getting out and active with my kids more so that they can have healthier lives too.

A blessing and a curse in my life is that my work hours are incredibly flexible - provided I don't have meetings I can do my work whenever I want and wherever I want. This means that I have the flexibility to create a work schedule that fits around all those other competing demands - but it also means that it is hard to say 'no' to things that come up during what I have decided are going to be my work hours.

Anyway - with a lot of hand-wringing the day before yesterday I put together a detailed fortnightly plan. I have sacrificed TV watching on weekdays and have changed to very packed weekdays so that Saturdays can be a day of rest and spontaneity. I also need to accept that playing games on my iPad before I go to sleep just can't be because going to sleep on time will be an essential for this to work. Years ago I saw the daily schedule for a cabinet minister and remember being horrified by the fact that it was programmed in 15 minute slots from 6am to 11pm. It scares me that my schedule looks rather like that now!

I am on summer holidays at the moment so it won't be till the first week of February that this schedule is reality tested. If necessary I will go back to the drawing board but for the moment I am hoping it will work. I may well be calling on your collective coaching services when I take this baby out for a run come February.

Day 8 checklist:

First up the checklist makes sure you have done the "big steps" from week one - so:
1. Have I chosen a primary budgeting system and a back up budgeting system?
2. Have I thoroughly prepared my work and home environments?
3. Have I had an initial conversation with my diet coach?

Then for the checklist just relating to today:
1. I read my ARC twice
2. I used my "stop impulse spending" and "savouring strategies - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
3. I used pause, plan, pay - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
4. I gave myself credit for helpful spending behaviours - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
5. I looked at my weekly schedule and worked out how to make time for living more frugally?