'Christmas is ruined by children'

Hermia

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

You know, I've never understood the 'Christmas is for children' thing.

Why?

This time of year celebrates the birth of Christ, or a pagan midwinter festival, or a good old family feast day......


Exchanging small gifts and all of the above, yes, lovely - but when did it become the 'Little Johnnie's presents are taking up a third of the sitting room' lunacy it can be today?

Happy Christmas

I have always thought that too. When did that idea come about? I am never sure why an adult's wishes are seen as second to the kids when Christmas could have a huge significance for them.

The one thing that annoys me is how many of my friends go on and on about how Christmas is a special day for the children and how they must get all their pressies and let them be the centre of attention. These are kids who are bought toys all year round and are treated as little gods in their household. I think they could do with a day when they are not the centre of everything!

balletshoes

Hermia wrote: »

I have always thought that too. When did that idea come about? I am never sure why an adult's wishes are seen as second to the kids when Christmas could have a huge significance for them.

The one thing that annoys me is how many of my friends go on and on about how Christmas is a special day for the children and how they must get all their pressies and let them be the centre of attention.
These are kids who are bought toys all year round and are treated as little gods in their household.
I think they could do with a day when they are not the centre of everything!

i think the bit in bold is more of an issue to be honest.

pukkamum

balletshoes wrote: »

i think the bit in bold is more of an issue to be honest.

I agree, I sure I read somewhere that poorer people spend more on their kids at Christmas than more well off do.
Not sure of my facts but I know I spend a lot more than my sister but my 3 get their winter clothes included in that, books etc stuff they need and want that I don't buy all the time.
The only time my kids get toys etc other than the odd thing is at christmas and birthdays, so realistically , I spend the same if not less but in one go as my better off sister who buys all year round.

CRANKY40

Ever since my son could understand he was told that santa brings one small gift as he has to find presents for everyone, and mum pays for the rest. That put a stop to wilder flights of fancy right off. He's 9 now, and we've had many discussions about St Nicholas being real, but he does know that the man in the red suit isn't responsible for his gift list and I have to find the money for the stuff he thinks that he wants.

He does get stuff throughout the year, but that is for several reasons . His birthday is in November, and two major presents one month after the next is a bit unnecessary, and also, as a result of the death of his father when my son was 4, he receives a pension which he gets until he is 18. I do save most of the pension for him, but he is allowed pocket money of £5 a week from the remainder, which is his to squander as he sees fit. No amount of toys bought with that money will ever make up for the loss of his dad.

I'd say expectations beyond the bounds of reality ruin christmas, and some of those expectations belong to adults as well as children.

catkins

Carl31 wrote: »

Is there any adults that are that bothered by Christmas? Sure, its fun, few beers and some good food, but surely its all about the kids and family?

What a stupid article, looks like someone feels like they're missing out on something

Me and OH are childfree and both love Christmas. There are no children in our family now as our nieces and nephews are all grown up but we all get together and have a lovely Christmas and it doesn't include any beer for me (or any alcohol).


I certainly don't think Christmas is all about kids

GobbledyGook

balletshoes wrote: »

i think the bit in bold is more of an issue to be honest.

I agree with that. I've seen spoilt bratty children at Christmas in poor families and in well off families. The common denominator was parents who didn't, or wouldn't, reign the expectations of the children.

My children probably get a lot in monetary terms spent on them because their Dad earns a lot. However they don't get the mountains and mountains that some of their friends get.

I loved Christmas even when I was childless. A family occasion with an excuse to buy a nice surprise for everyone plus all the other fun stuff around it (weather if it snows, carols etc).

I do think having children around makes it more special, purely because they get as excited as I do. However mine know that Christmas (like holidays) is for all of the family and they are expected to respect that.

sharnad

Carl31 wrote: »

Is there any adults that are that bothered by Christmas? Sure, its fun, few beers and some good food, but surely its all about the kids and family?

What a stupid article, looks like someone feels like they're missing out on something

Lots of adults love christmas, not everyone has kids

Rev

I think it stems from parents encouraging their kids to write lists to Santa.

Kids are told Santa is this magical man who brings things. They write him a letter with things they want. And spend all their time being told to behave or he won't bring them anything. They in their minds go out of their way to behave and be extra good. So surely this magical man will bring them the presents they have asked for. If he doesn't. Why not? They've done all that was asked of them. And all their friends got what they asked Santa for.

Same with any situation and any person young or old. They have expectations then when they are let down they are upset.

I don't have kids but do have little cousins. I spent less than £10 each on them and they were all made up with their gifts.

unholyangel

Caroline_a wrote: »

To be honest I can't stand badly behaved brats any time of year. Has to be the parent's fault though.

Totally agree. Our youngest didn't get the city she asked for (she did set her expectations too high though - wanted a proper town....not one where it comes in separate parts and can be added later) but was over the moon with what she did get.

I also had a talk with my mum as she spent over £50 each on them. Her reply was "its not really that much". My response to that was "it is to a 4 year old!".

I've found good ways to make kids more money aware is to have them do chores for pocket money (even if they're young, they can still tidy up their own toys). Obviously what chores you have them doing and how much they get for each chore should be down to what age they are/how much you can afford! For example, 50p each day they take their own dishes through to the kitchen and keep their room tidy.

When I was a kid my parents used to give us pen & paper, a budget and an argos catalogue (argos was the go-to place then for toys! many moons ago ). We were told we could pick what we wanted up to the budget (although if we made "bad" choices they'd sometimes suggest alternatives and point out why the alternative was better for us!). I think both of these together (pocket money for chores only and let kids work out their xmas budget) work great.

Saturnalia

My parents always told me that a letter to Santa was a suggestion of things you would like - maybe he wouldn't have the money to buy the big thing, he wouldn't have room on the sleigh for lots of big items, he decided what he wanted to give you and you didn't get everything on the list.

Seemed to work. We got one big gift and loads of cheaper things, most of them being "the essentials" - socks, tights, undies, bedwear, often a bedding set, stationery, toiletries, diary & calendar, etc. And always a chocolate Santa, selection box & big box of Jelly Babies (which were put away and strictly rationed out for weeks on end). A book or two. I've always liked candles and there is a Colony shop nearby so usually one of those too. And we were never disappointed!

Sorry, I just don't get this idea that if the child doesn't get everything on the Santa list their Christmas is ruined.