Am I being to tight??? - Christmas Pressie help

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lobbyludd

I give cash to my brother and his family, as that is what they want and need, and it's £25 each - so 100 for the 4 of them.

I often find I spend more on people that I find difficult to buy for - as I can source great stuff and good prices for the others.

so can I suggest - for those of you who say "nothing" but in turn get those people gifts - that you instead say something you want, within a price range that won't embarrass you or them (ie. for a very small amount), for something incredibly practical if necessary - this is a nice thing to do. If someone asks what you want they are doing it for a reason - they want to get you something useful that you'll like and they don't want to spend hours trying desperately to think of something only to get an unappreciated thing or spend way more than they would usually would. With the best will in the world we don't all have unlimited time or perfect present-choosing skills.

this year I have asked for a fruit plant, new scissors etc, in plenty of time so that they can get a good deal/buy on the internet/exchange when we see them (so as not to incur postage costs). If people want to augment that, I thank them heartily, but I know by giving them the idea this I am relieving them of that blank list burden, and allowing them to get some joy out of the giving, rather than a heart-sink " there's still X to find something for"...

MrsE_2

Its become purely a financial transaction hasn't it.

I've stepped of the roller coaster & I'm only giving to those that wouldn't give back, 3 children in my family & a tiny gift of a tin of roses each & a jar of home made preserves for each of my team.

None of these give gifts to me, these are purely gifts, not financial transactions!

From now on, I will buy special people birthday gifts, but christmas presents will be for children only (as I think the true nature of Christmas intended).

Cottage_Economy

I don't think you're stingy. You're giving what you can afford to give based on your priorities.

Hubby and I spend about:

£35-£50 on each parent
£20-£30 on each sibling and sibling's OH
£20-£25 on nieces and nephews
£15-£20 on close friends
£10-£15 on close friends' children
£5-10 on all other friends and acquaintances

We usually ask them if there is anything they specifically want so we don't waste money on gift that might not be as appreciated. There's usually also something homemade in with each gifts as well.

Hubby and I spend as much as we want to on each other, and usually we include clothes that we've put off buying during the year so we have some new duds to wear at Christmas. The presents won't necessarily be new though - we often do car boots and charity shops to find hard to source books and CDs etc so our presents are usually a real mixed bag. I have a rule that people should always source me a secondhand copy of a book, CD or DVD if possible, as I think it is a waste to buy new ones of these when there are so many good clean copies being sold secondhand. It also helps other people raise some cash to pay for their Christmas and for the giver it means they can usually spend a lot less than they were intending than if they bought new.

Stephb1986_2

I think £20 is more than enough. For my parents I usually spend about £50 each and my partner I usually spend a fair bit on.

We have to buy 2 nieces and a nephew which can get expensive at around £40 each, which I find a waste as we don't have kids and lucky to get £10 worth of a present back so we're cutting back this year. As we're getting married next year and we're also hoping to do a home makeover

Steph xx

Katiehound

I don't have many people to buy for and I buy things through the year when I see them.
Last year I gave my friends daughter a carrier bag full of oddments and the family had to guess the shop value and what I had actually paid! (so it was a game too) I wouldn't have spent more than £5 and the goodies totalled maybe £30 or £40- you can't really beat garments reduced to E1!! It's really a bit of fun because I always say "If you don't like it please move it on!"

My BF and I have a £5 challenge. That's fun too because you can buy things from where ever you like- car boot, charity shop etc.

I also buy a few magazine subscriptions as gifts- that's about £25 per title which is both for Christmas & birthday.

i like to spend my money wisely and would rather people bought me nothing than waste money on junk. I especially hate it when they post cards- I shall be away- please e-mail me or phone me through the year....both of which are virtually free.

it is spending time together and making memories that are most important -not material things.

Jobseeeker

Surely you would have noticed if sis had been spending £100 per pres on you all that time? Is she exaggerating to get you to spend £100 on her:D

I'm making mine this year anyway will see how relatives react to that

gayleygoo

Me and my sis agreed not to spend loads on each other this year - we both have other things to be saving for! I'll prob aim for £20-£30 although I prefer to make stuff if I can. Same goes for my parents, and a bit more for OH and the kids. Everyone else is lucky if they get £10 spent on them.

For birthdays I don't mind spending a bit more but to me a birthday is more special than "Happy Present Day" in December! If your sis can afford to spend £100 on you and chooses to do so even when you've said you think it's too much, then it's her problem, £20 is fine for a gift IMO

The_Cre8tor

agreenmess wrote: »

Hello all,

I'm just really looking to see what everyone else does. Me and my sister were nattering yesterday and well the price of presents came up and I said I only spend £20 per person (this is the same for birthdays) well the look I got!! I felt well awful apparently if I don't spend something in the margin of £100 per person I'm being stingy.

I just don’t have the money for that at all, especially as me and the other half are saving for a house, and well I love looking for that perfect item which fits within my price barrier, it can be really fun.

Now I just feel really upset and worried, whenever asked what I want I say nothing and really feel Christmas is about spending time with your family and appreciating what you have not how much your spending on each other., I already feel really guilty when given expensive presents when I ask for nothing, I dread Christmas day at the best of times these days.

Anyway before this gets too long am I being stingy? What is everyone’s normal spend?? I know it's too late for this year but at least I know if I need to save more than I am.

Many Thanks

Hello Agreeness. I whole heartedly agree with everyone here. You're not being stingy. Neither are you wrong. In fact, I'd say that it was your sister who's the person who's doing the wrong thing, and judging by what everyone else here has said, they all think that too.

A £100 spend per person, for extended family and friends is way too much - unless of course you're Simon Cowell. What on earth does she buy for everyone for that amount which doesn't make the people concerned extremely uncomfortable?!!

You're not in the wrong and you're not being tight-fisted. You're making a sensible choice and can buy a really lovely gift which you'll give to her with a good heart. If she chooses to buy you a gift which is more costly, then that is her choice, and no doubt she will give it to you with a good heart. Don't feel any guilt for doing the right thing, Agreeness.
Have a fabulous Christmas. :xmastree:~ TC. xxx

bluebag

£100?? per person good grief, that is 15+ hours at minimum wage, surely no one would want you to graft for two full days for a gift.

What is wrong with these people?