Am I being to tight??? - Christmas Pressie help

agreenmess

Hello all,

I'm just really looking to see what everyone else does. Me and my sister were nattering yesterday and well the price of presents came up and I said I only spend £20 per person (this is the same for birthdays) well the look I got!! I felt well awful apparently if I don't spend something in the margin of £100 per person I'm being stingy.

I just don’t have the money for that at all, especially as me and the other half are saving for a house, and well I love looking for that perfect item which fits within my price barrier, it can be really fun.

Now I just feel really upset and worried, whenever asked what I want I say nothing and really feel Christmas is about spending time with your family and appreciating what you have not how much your spending on each other., I already feel really guilty when given expensive presents when I ask for nothing, I dread Christmas day at the best of times these days.

Anyway before this gets too long am I being stingy? What is everyone’s normal spend?? I know it's too late for this year but at least I know if I need to save more than I am.

Many Thanks

CAN1976

Im around that level for gifts to parents, siblings etc. Only my wife and kids get the "hundreds" treatment

whitewing

I spend £25-30 per sibling, parent, and other close relative, a bit more on husband and children (partly as we don't spend much on treats during the year).


I usually get good deals for extended family as I plan what to buy through the year and buy when it is on offer.


I do get tempted to add in extras, but am training myself not to do that as it isn't appreciated.

emslovesmickey

It is not stingy at all! As far as i'm concerned it is the thought that is put into presents, not how much they cost. Society is far too obsessed with the cost of things. Besides, as a member of MSE you sho0uld be applauded for being frugal.

geri1965_2

Try to limit to £20 maximum, but this year the mother wants cash for new glasses. No 2 sibling is giving her £50! Number 3 is giving her £25, so I will also give £25.

I give £20 to nieces in cash as well.

anniemf2508

I don't think your stingy at all...the only people that i spend alot on are my husband and kids.
Everyone else gets between £5-£10

Macca83_2

I try to keep present spending to a minimum. I make up hampers with a max spend of £30 or I hand make things. I look on eBay and I shop around. I like the fun of it as well. I prefer to spend a little time and effort on making a present bought for next to nothing look like a million dollars

agreenmess

Thank you for the quick replys, I glad I'm not being stingy! It's just after "the look" and the oh well I'm spending this much smug comment I felt so awful, especially didn't get a good nights sleep last night!

bossymoo

Does she usually spend £100 on you? Or do you think maybe she's bigging herself up a bit?

McKneff

More fool her then.... I don't think you are being stingy at all.


My son and DIL got a £50 hamper between them, Daughter and SIL got a picnic back pack set about the same.


4 Grandchildren get approx. £20/£25 spent on them making them all around the same. Im paranoid about making them all the same lol

lostinrates

agreenmess wrote: »

Hello all,

I'm just really looking to see what everyone else does. Me and my sister were nattering yesterday and well the price of presents came up and I said I only spend £20 per person (this is the same for birthdays) well the look I got!! I felt well awful apparently if I don't spend something in the margin of £100 per person I'm being stingy.

I just don’t have the money for that at all, especially as me and the other half are saving for a house, and well I love looking for that perfect item which fits within my price barrier, it can be really fun.

Now I just feel really upset and worried, whenever asked what I want I say nothing and really feel Christmas is about spending time with your family and appreciating what you have not how much your spending on each other., I already feel really guilty when given expensive presents when I ask for nothing, I dread Christmas day at the best of times these days.

Anyway before this gets too long am I being stingy? What is everyone’s normal spend?? I know it's too late for this year but at least I know if I need to save more than I am.

Many Thanks

Its silly to give more than you can afford.

I'm not a gift person, and would prefer my friends /family spend spend twenty on them selves than buy me something, but if they have to buy me something, I'd rather they spend twenty on something they think I'd like or find useful. than 100 on something that's worth 100.



An Mse chum and I gave another Mse chum a small gift for her birthday this week. The real value? That she later posted ' the happiness is returning'. It drew tears of joy from me, both for the cleverness of the Mse chum who proposed the idea to me, (such a thoughtful woman) and for the person we had made feel happy. . That's what a gift is about. Not monetary value.

My guess is had we spend ' hundreds' the person would have felt awkward and embarrassed, but we hit the right note and she feels nurtured and cared for, I hope!

And on that note, its why I'd rather have nothing. I don't like gifts for the sake of It. ' I saw this attic tat and thought of you'? No you didn't ....you thought crikey, I don't know what to get her, hmm, this 'll do. . I know I'm cranky and fussy, you know I am cranky and fussy, buy me a coffee if you must, or lets arrange time together or a decent chat.


The idea some one would delay your house purchase for a gift for me makes my blood run cold. Meet your savings targets, make your budgets work. Treat littlies and the people who might not be with you so long sure, but sisters? They should know that you are there for the long haul