Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

fern44

sorry but ring her up and tell her your not going back
your not her skivvy no one deserves to be spoken to like that
you will get through this you always do x

kelpie35

Unless the £20 per week is really helping you to keep your head above water, I would just say that you no longer wish to do this job.

You do not need to give her any reason, but should she ask, and you feel the desire to answer, just say it is difficult to find child care and you feel that your child is more important than this job.

She has not shown you any respect and does not deserve your help and kindness.

I do know you might feel under so much pressure at the moment, but you are worth more than this.

Things will get easier, I know you might not see it at the moment.

Keep your pecker up, you are a wonderful wife and mother.

wantabetterlife

Oh god Steph she would do my head in. If I was you I would try my best to grin and bear it until hubby has his op and is back at work but at the end of the day it's only 20 per week so if you really can't face her just leave. Part of my job is to visit elderly people in their home and you can nearly always tell when they used to be a teacher....they speak to everyone like they are their pupils!!
Re the job you used to do... I have stuck my job out even when we had kids ( now have four) because I didn't want to end up with no job after they all went to school (and because of the money ) but I sometimes regret not staying at home and being with them. My point is we all have regrets and think we should have done it different but we do our best at the time so don't be too hard on yourself. Xo

tootallulah

Gosh she sounds a bit of a nightmare, I would get through the op and then tell her that you are leaving. To be honest good reliable cleaners are at a premium if you need the money you can get a job with someone who appreciates you. And this too will pass Steph once you are down to less than £5k it will be a real fillip to get to the end at which point you won't need to work at all. I have had a lovely career but sadly no kids or permanent partner the grass is always greener on the other side!

I am in Sarawak, reading MSE by the pool! not very MSE at all.

Verbatim

What a wonderful sounding job! Would you like to go back to something similar one day? I would say map out your route back and break it down to small steps. I left an impressive job to be with my dd and never got back which has been a regret. But as in similar vein to what others have said at the time I felt I was missing my dd grow up which was far more important.
Vx

StressedSteph

Thank you so much for your posts everyone, it really upset me yesterday as I try my hardest to do a good job. Her house is totally cluttered but I try my best to pull everything out so I can hoover everywhere and have done everything she has asked me to do, even hand washing dirty blankets her cats have been sick on. But each week she seems to have a complaint about something and yesterday was an all new low.


If hubbys operation goes ahead on Monday then I should'nt have any more childcare issues as he will be off sick for the rest of the summer holidays. I am going to stick it out for a few more weeks and see how it goes, if she continues to complain then I will think up my excuses and leave. My self confidence in myself is at an all time low and I really don't feel mental capable to get moaned at constantly doing a bloomin cleaning job. Its not rocket science is it!, so if I can't even do that to someones satisfaction then what can I do??


I keep desperately searching Pinterest for something inspirational that I could make and would sell well. Guess I'm in dream land

Moneywhizz

Sounds to me like you are indeed underpaid for the job that you are doing for this lady. If the money really is a help then you should try and stick it out till after the op but I don't think you should put up with any more of her nonsense. I wonder if she would find someone else so willing and patient as you have been. What about doing some gardening? I know around my area lots of people pay to have gardening work done, and it sounds like you would be more than capable of doing a good job of that. Only an idea.

Chocforever

She is a bully - do try to leave that job as soon as you can.


Regarding Moneywhizz's idea on gardening, yes, I think it would be worth seeing what kind of rates people charge for gardening or even just cutting lawns. Where my parents live (North Yorks), they can get gardeners very cheaply - they must be on close to minimum wage. Where I live (South Midlands), gardeners cost a fortune. When I phoned around to get quotes, I struggled to get anyone to answer because they don't need the work. I have needed various tradesmen over the last 12 months and the gardener is easily the most expensive person. Shame I can't give my day job up to do gardening instead.

clearmydebts

I'm with the others Stef. I wouldn't be sticking with that job and I would be telling her in a nice but assertive way that you think she needs to find someone else. She is being so disrespectful.


When I first moved to the UK from Ireland I did home care work with older people and I had one lady that sounds like her. She was so disrespectful to me. I was delighted when I finally left. She really chipped away at my confidence.

StressedSteph

Morning all,


Thanks so much for the support this last week, My mind has been racing with different ways I could better myself and escape the horrible work situation I have found myself in.


I have a close friend who works in a doctors surgery and she has mentioned Podiatry a couple of times to me. She knows I already work with feet with Reflexology and after a long chat I discovered that it is incredibly well paid and is more of a NEED, than a WANT.
Dorset is the retirement capital of the UK so there are lots of retiree's that can't reach their feet .


Only snag is it is three years of University, and Southampton is the nearest one :eek:. Which is about 1.20minutes away.


It has thrown up ALOT of questions:-


1) I would probably have to do an access course first as I have been out of education (Forever!!) so that makes it four years!


2) Do I have the mental brain power to actually complete it???


3) Hoping that it is just three days in Southampton and the placement could be more local, could I arrange childcare for the three days I will be leaving home early and then home late.


This is all assuming I could even get on the degree course in the first place!


The other alternative is Foot Health Practitioner. They are the Podiatrists poor cousin, where you just do a 12 week course and then you are qualified to maintain the health of feet and do basic remedial treatments like corn, verruca removal etc, no surgery.


This would obviously be more convenient but I am afraid of paying for a course that then doesn't actually get you any work as people would prefer fully qualified Podiatrists instead.


At my friends Drs surgery is another old friend who is coming into the surgery once a week to work on peoples feet. she has young children and is a similar age. I used to work with her years ago and she wasn't a Podiatrist then. My friend is going to find out her number for me as I am curious if she has managed to go to Uni to train or if she is just an FHP. If she isn't a Podiatrist then that could give me hope that I could make a living just training as a Foot Health Practitioner.


This would be super flexible as I could be mobile and fit it around the family and it be a needed treatment for people rather than a treat like Reflexology.


Sorry to have wittered on but I wanted to get my thoughts out of my head, hubby is supportive but not a big chatter. So he isn't really that interested in chewing the fat about my decision process. (its times like this I really miss my mum).


Everything else is ticking over, bills have been paid, but no spare for fun.


Would be really great to find a flexible career that is needed by people and not a beauty treatment as it seems in my area people just can't afford luxuries anymore.


Sorry to waffle. xxx