Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

dawnybabes

Is the local magazine really £100 a month ? Wow.

StressedSteph

dawnybabes wrote: »

Is the local magazine really £100 a month ? Wow.

Hi Dawn

Its £23.11 every week. We reduced it early 2014 as it was £35. :eek:

It is just an inch square box under the Builders section. We have tried lots of different advertising over the years and this local magazine is the only thing that seems to bring in the calls.

Its a very popular free paper, but I admit the advertising costs make my eyes water.

Can't see any way out of it, for hubby to get work he has to advertise

StressedSteph

Morning all.

Wow sharp frost here in Dorset today, i thought for a second it had been snowing it was so white outside :snow_laug

Well I have £3 left in the bank :eek:, I had to empty out some of the odd pennies from different bank accounts just to make sure i didn't go overdrawn.

I have just sent a txt to the Spa boss as I remembered that he owes me £30 from my last treatment on the 10th December. He is usually good at paying as soon as I ask him, so fingers crossed.

I am still owed £60 from Wreath Sales.

£24 Lady in the village who has now gone away till the 31st
£24 Good friend who was going to pay it by bank transfers
£12 Good friends neighbour who was going to pay her when she did the bank transfer.

Don't like to pester good friend just yet, Thought I would wait until New year when I know she has definitely had her wages then send a txt. I hate asking people for money owed.

I haven't told you lovely people yet, but when we went out for drinks on the 23rd I had a very uncomfortable experience.

It was drinks round a friends house in the village, it was lovely and I had a great night until right before we left.

As usual most of the ladies congregated together chatting and the men stood chatting in the kitchen, so I was unaware of what conversation they had been having. We kind of all came together in the kitchen to start getting ready to leave, when two of hubby good friends seemed to kind of round up on me, going on about hubbys hernia and that he really should have had the op earlier this year and that I really should push him into getting it done as its a serious thing etc.

I am unsure if I was just being super sensitive, but I am quite a private person about our finances, I know they all know we are paupers and they are loaded but they then started saying they had offered to pay the mortgage for the month to take the pressure of so he could feel he could afford to have the all important op.:eek::mad:.

I was furious and also felt extremely guilty. I am in charge of the money so I feel they think I have held back on the money and not made it possible to hubby to have the op.:(. As you know it is not the case at all. Last time hubby had the hernia op (2nd hernia he has had), he was off work for 1 week, but I would really like to save up a little more than 1 week because he may have complications. I know I should have found a way to do it in 2014, but hubby makes light of the hernia as its only small and we had so much debt to tackle that it just never happened.

I feel really embarrassed and angry at them as i feel it is none of their business, and am mortified at them for offering to pay our mortgage :eek:. I know deep down that their offers came from a good place but still feel they were deeply over stepping the mark.

We always feel like the poor relation, one is a Dairy farmer and the other is an own of a tennis club.

I was so caught off guard that I just fluffed past it saying Martyn has made light of the hernia and we are working on getting it done as soon as we can. Then they came out with "Of course hubby would make light of it as he knows you can't afford it" :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:.

Am I being far too sensitive?? I just feel now they are talking behind our backs with pity. Its makes me furious.

Please give me a kick up the bum if I am being too thin skinned. I am prone to being over sensitive.

Would be good to hear this from an outsiders point of view.

Anyway I have decided to put all my earnings into a savings pot till I get to about 1k. So that would be nearly 2 weeks wages, then hubby can have his op. It does need to be done this year, so maybe this embarrassing experience will kick me into prioritising it. Hopefully he could afford to book in around March time.

Would love your opinions. xxx

greenval

I think the important issue is less what has been said to you and what the GP/consultant has said to your husband. Do they say it is urgent or not? is he on a waiting list, when is surgery planned?
If he has been told it's urgent then it is a priority, if not then you may have scope to plan your finances accordingly.

StressedSteph

greenval wrote: »

I think the important issue is less what has been said to you and what the GP/consultant has said to your husband. Do they say it is urgent or not? is he on a waiting list, when is surgery planned?
If he has been told it's urgent then it is a priority, if not then you may have scope to plan your finances accordingly.

Hi greenval

Hubby has had one of these hernias before. This time round it is only small and not at a dangerous stage. It will obviously keep getting worse, but according to hubby it hasn't gotten any bigger for a long time.

He hasn't been to the Drs yet, I think he knows the drill and knows the Dr will just book him in for the op so will only go when he knows we can afford to do it.

We have halved our debt in 2014 and I know that I can't leave it until 2016 to get the op done, so I will prioritise getting the money saved for that to get it done with.

It isn't at a serious stage at all otherwise i would just tell him to book in and we would figure it out, but it does need sorting sooner than later.

His friends just made me feel awful about it, when it is something private that we are sorting out when we can. Maybe I am too sensitive and in the wrong

eco_farmer

as a dairy farmer dairy farmers really annoy me, we tend to live in our own little worlds due to the isolated nature of our job and we conveniently forget that most of our living expenses elec/fuel/water/insurances/vehicle repairs/car loans/tax etc etc are covered by general farm expenses so we have no real idea what our cost of living is I expect most would be shocked what they would have to earn in the "real world" to maintain the same standard of living . So as long as your DH is following consultant advice then no need to feel guilty I'm sure as well though that your friends are only looking out for your family so don't take it too personally

lhead123

wantabetterlife wrote: »

Steph I just want to I've your brain about YNAB. It's on sale in steam for 22.50 but the thing is I only have an iPad. I don't have a PCs or laptop to use it with or an iPhone. From what you know about it do you think it would still work ok?

To download with steam you definitely need a computer. Steam is a programming itself that you use to download Ynab through it and then use it through steam each time. Once downloaded you can copy the activation code and then use a regular copy of Ynab from the Ynab website and paste the activation code into it.

You can use the iPad app just like the full pc version as far as I know, however you'd need to get an activation code from Ynab themselves and not through steam to be able to use it...

If you go on the Ynab forums there will definitely be people who are in the same situation and can advise you on the best way to go.

Xx

Puzzcat

Hi Steph,


Sending you a .... Difficult one, as already said I'm sure your friends certainly didn't mean to upset you and would probably be mortified to know they have. I would probably get OH to go to the doctors and then work from there.. Obviously if you can get the op and recovery period over as early in 2015 as you can, you can then throughly enjoy the rest of the year debt busting away..


I'm sure whatever you BOTH decide will be the right choice and at the end of the day it is your choice and not that of your friends, however well meaning they were trying to be..


Love Puzz. x

dawnybabes

But you don't know what the doctors would su, they may say leave it come back when it's bigger or might book him in and the waiting list is 6 months. Tbh I'd be !!!!ed off that they got involved, it's nothing to do with them, people put off ops for all sorts of reasons, I put mine off for 6 weeks, so I could be a bridesmaid (but if I'd have known it was cancer I would have had it down straight away but after discussing it with the doctor he was in no rush)

mummytogirls

Oh Steph, I think id be quite annoyed aswell!! Im sure they thought they were doing a good thing with the offer but as you know us Brits like to keep our pride intact. I would be upset that they were talking behind my back too. Hope your ok x