Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

StressedSteph

Thanks for your posts all.

It's a confusing issue, and not one that will probably rear its head again as i expect it was because they were all drunk. I must admit to probably telling them to mind their own business if they said it to me again.

I know it was all coming from a helpful well meaning place but it totally overstepped the boundaries in my book.

Last year was such a panic to get a hold of our debt problems before it spiraled into bigger issues like house repossession and court action.

I am not ashamed of telling people we are debt busting at the moment, but I do not feel it is appropriate to start asking us how much our monthly mortgage payment is and that if hubby will just go and have the op they will pay our bills. I find it completely embarrassing that they even bought up the subject

Going into 2015 we are in a slightly better place. The mortgage still isn't on direct debit yet as I haven't been able to catch up, although it never gets behind more than a couple of weeks.
We still have £700 of minimum payments to unsecured debts, but I feel its all alot more under control.

I have carved out a small income as well during 2014 which will hopefully continue which is an improvement on 2013.

So I think it will be hard but not impossible to find a way soon to get hubby sorted out.

You are right Dawn, I don't totally know what the Dr may say, but last time, he agreed with hubby it was an Inguinal Hernia and gave him a booking sheet to go online to book himself in for the op. Hubby booked in and was in within two weeks. I think that is why we haven't pursued it just yet, but maybe I should get hubby to go and see what the Dr says.

I guess I just took it all very personally, like it was a direct attack on my money management and that I had been prioritising the wrong things and didn't care about hubby.

Pfffft I wish people would just mind their own business.

Moneywhizz

Your friends may have meant well but I would have been upset and angry too, especially given that you were at a social gathering. If they want to help your hubby they could have had a private conversation with him about it. It is very insensitive to talk about anyone's finances publicly and you have every right to be annoyed.

As far as when the op should be done, that is for you and hubby to decide. Is there a quiet time of the year for your husband's work so that you can minimise the loss of earnings?

StressedSteph

Moneywhizz wrote: »

Your friends may have meant well but I would have been upset and angry too, especially given that you were at a social gathering. If they want to help your hubby they could have had a private conversation with him about it. It is very insensitive to talk about anyone's finances publicly and you have every right to be annoyed.

As far as when the op should be done, that is for you and hubby to decide. Is there a quiet time of the year for your husband's work so that you can minimise the loss of earnings?

Thanks moneywhizz,

I am relieved to hear it wasn't just me over-reacting. I haven't spoken to hubby about it since that evening. On the walk home I sounded off about how angry I was about them questioning when I was going to let him have his op. He didn't see the harm in what they did, but then he wasn't on the receiving end of their pitying faces and questioning. :mad:

What I am now slightly anxious about is the kitchen where they were all chatting was FULL of people. I really hope that this CHAT they had with hubby wasn't involving lots of other earwiggers as well . I don't like to ask hubby as I feel it might spiral into an argument and I will walk a million miles to avoid confrontation so I have let sleeping dogs lie.

Nothing like being the village charity case

tootallulah

I would have been very angry Steph, your husband's health is not a matter for all and sundry to have a public opinion about, very, very rude - even if they were coming from a good place. Still I would also just ignore them and try to act like it never happened. Beers in wits out, a phrase my grandmother used in whithering tones to describe my Grandad on Saturday lunch times!

On more promising news you seem to be gearing up for 2015, I am really hoping that good things hapen for you and yours.

Moneywhizz

I wouldn't worry too much about it. For one thing, if the kitchen was full of men having a drink, I think they probably had more "interesting" things to talk about than your finances. Most men will have forgotten all about it by the time they got home.

You are certainly not a charity case. By the time this years out you will probably be one of the few families in your village who are debt free. Those who seem to the most well off may well be the ones with the most debt.

StressedSteph

Ok, I have decided to mentally try and move on from my issue with hubby's friend with misguided good intentions, the more I dwell on it the more wound up I get.

Today was a fairly good day.

I deep cleaned our en-suite bathroom. My cleaning regime has been less than brilliant after my very busy December making wreaths, Dd's birthday and Christmas preparations.

It was limescale city, so spent a looooong time descaling and dusting everything and it now looks gorgeous. I have told hubby I am leaving the Shower shine spray in the shower and everytime we finish our shower we are to spray this spray on the shower doors. Hoping that might keep the limescale build up down.

Tidied and dusted our bedroom.
Then I went down the veg plot and covered over three raised beds with old lino to prevent anymore weed growth and warm up the soil ready for planting in the spring.

I have broad beans, peas, onions, garlic and strawberries growing in the tunnel at the moment. also some pots of rhubarb I rescued out of the compost heap.

I thought all of my rhubarb had died at the back of the veg plot but was encouraged today to see four small rhubarb plants coming into leaf again. I could really o with purchasing some fleece to cover things up.

Apparently Yeovilton which is about 15 miles from us was the coldest in the country this morning at -7c :eek:

Hubby went out today and did a little electrical job and earnt us £100 :T. Good old hubby.

I have him home tomorrow so going to get his quad and trailer skills working. We have a load of pig muck in the barn that I want to clear out before I get any orphan lambs. I will fill the trailer and get him to deliver it down to the veg plot for me. I am useless at driving the quad and cannot reverse a trailer for toffee .

Hubby was in abit of a bad mood this afternoon and when i quizzed him it seemed to stem from the fact that we had no New Years eve plans. I explained to him that we had no sitters and even if we did we couldn't afford to go out. He seemed to come to term with the fact that nothing was going to happen. I couldn't face the sudden change of plans after I have gotten to thrilled with not having to dress up and spend a fortune for a disappointing night.

Fingers crossed that's the last I hear of wanting to find some way of going out on New Years.

Really want to have 2015 as a year I get things done. I need to do something productive EVERY DAY. It is very easy when you are at home every day with no boss to just bimble and lose focus and then get nothing done. 2015 WILL be different.

Puzzcat

You could always dress in something nice for him!!!! Bet he'd be glad not to have gone to the pub then!!!!!!!

dawnybabes

We stay In And "celebrate" as the clocks chime - it's free ! Perhaps this be a wonderful incentive :-)

supersaver1000

I agree that staying in with family is the best option. Last couple of years we've been at a friends - we all took a dish and drink - all friends who also like to stay in so very relaxed and low key. Plus our kids are a little older now so don't take too much looking after. This year we are going to the outlaws, taking a dish, 4 beers and a bottle or two. I'll have a couple of very small drinks over the night and it's only half a mile home so will be safe and legal.

Could you invite someone to call in just for an hour maybe so hubby feels like he's done something, then have a little celebration at midnight ? Just a thought.

Have a good one. Ss1k

StressedSteph

Hi Puzz, Dawn & Overspender,

I will have a little think about what I can do to cheer him up. I did explain to him that it is the first year in 17 years that we have stayed in, and I am actually looking forward to it.

I will have a chat to him about what he would like, maybe a steak dinner, bottle of fizz, a cuddle :rotfl:

Super crazy hard frost again this morning, it looks beautiful outside, just hoping my veggies in the polytunnel can cope

Dd finally got her sleepover at her best buddies last night, cheeky monkey has been dropping hints to her friend since before Christmas.

Hope you all have nice plans for today, not working I hope.

Speak laters xx