Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

wantabetterlife

Oh Steph that's an akward one. I think if it was me I would have a chat with his mum first and subtly get in that your son is annoyed about the situation and has something happened that she know of?. This way it wouldn't come as a great surprise if you didn't collect him anymore. Perhaps then the mum could have a word with him so he could be a bit nicer. How does the boy get to school if your kids are sick for example?
Would you have noticed your sons adhd at age 3-4. I have a feeling that my son has some issues but I am not sure what. He is currently up in his bedroom screaming the house down! There are days his behaviour is so hard to deal with that I am on the brink of tears. If I didn't have two older children who have no issues I would put it down to my parenting...it is just so hard sometimes. What symptoms would your son of had? I hope you don't mind me asking xo

dawnybabes

Have you read the robin. Pauc books ? They are really good and yiu van do some of the strategy at home - my son is on the spectrum and these have helped enormously - obv not cured him but made it more liveable !

I'd would have a word with your friend and just say that your son mentioned that xx was ignoring him at school and the atmosphere in the car was strained. As a parent I'd be talking to my son and telling him to be polite. He doesn't have to like him but still has to be polite.

dawnybabes

wantabetterlife wrote: »

Oh Steph that's an akward one. I think if it was me I would have a chat with his mum first and subtly get in that your son is annoyed about the situation and has something happened that she know of?. This way it wouldn't come as a great surprise if you didn't collect him anymore. Perhaps then the mum could have a word with him so he could be a bit nicer. How does the boy get to school if your kids are sick for example?
Would you have noticed your sons adhd at age 3-4. I have a feeling that my son has some issues but I am not sure what. He is currently up in his bedroom screaming the house down! There are days his behaviour is so hard to deal with that I am on the brink of tears. If I didn't have two older children who have no issues I would put it down to my parenting...it is just so hard sometimes. What symptoms would your son of had? I hope you don't mind me asking xo

My sons nursery picked up something wasn't right when he was 3, school tried getting help for him when he was 5 but failed, when he was 8 he finally got a full time statement, we've still no diagnosis but we (and the school) think he has PDA. But our local authority does not recognise this so fighting a battle at the mo.

StressedSteph

Thanks wantabetterlife and Dawn,

I always knew that Ds was alot harder work than my friends children of a similar age.

It is so hard though, when he was 4-5 teachers and doctors claimed he was too young to diagnose as many children are overactive and inattentive at that age.

Then when he got to about 6-7 I managed to push for him to get tested and he was under SENCO at his school. They put into place lots of reward schemes etc which had limited success.

They had an EdPsyc put him through some tests and I also got desperate and finally asked his Dr for a referral. Ds had lots of tests but unfortunately came up borderline for ADHD and a few other things but I never managed to get a firm diagnosis because he is only borderline.

I can never decide if its a good thing he isnt on the register or not?.
I dont want a Stigma following him to senior school but I also would like to think I haven't failed him .

He does get some 1 to 1 help in school and I do my best to get him to do extra bits at home but his attention problems do cause him some issues with school friends.

Its hard being a parent

I had a chat to Ds and he said he will chat to the boy tomorrow before I get involved. Ds can often be quite sensitive and accidentally make more of something than it really is, so I don't want to go storming into anything.

Ds is going to this boys birthday party on Saturday, I will see how tomorrow and the party go and if it goes badly then I might have a coffee with the mum and try to broach the subject.

I think she could quite easily take her son to school but he would have to be dropped off very early and collected a little bit late because she has to collect her teenage daughter from high school at the same time and the school is 30 minutes away.

We kind of just fell into this set up, but it seemed natural and no bother when the boys were best buddies. Feels different nowadays.

Boy I tell you, I can't wait until they all go to high school and I don't have all this car share / school gate nonsense.

If you are concerned about your son Wantabetterlife you need to get ready for a battle, and don't accept no for an answer.
The main thing I would recommend is to push your Dr for a referral, although at the moment they may claim he is too young to tell yet.
Hubby never really backed me up as he is anti-labelling children etc, and after Ds got the borderline results I kind of gave up and accepted that hopefully that between me and the school we could put some strategies in place to get him through.

Only time will tell if I made the right decision.

xxx

StressedSteph

dawnybabes wrote: »

Have you read the robin. Pauc books ? They are really good and yiu van do some of the strategy at home - my son is on the spectrum and these have helped enormously - obv not cured him but made it more liveable !

I'd would have a word with your friend and just say that your son mentioned that xx was ignoring him at school and the atmosphere in the car was strained. As a parent I'd be talking to my son and telling him to be polite. He doesn't have to like him but still has to be polite.

Thanks Dawn

I will checkout those books. I'm always keen to learn a trick to make life a little easier.

I am a firm believer that often it isn't what you say, its the way you say it. I often get frustrated with Ds and get it all wrong.

xxx

debtfreewannabe321

It's an awkward one, been there myself with the taking kids to school and your kids are clashing with them :wall: thankfully for me they moved the two new kids i take to school are starting to settle in and not be so quiet any more too. The youngest is adorable, so sweet natured and quiet but her older sister is year 6 so older than my two and loves loves loves to boss them all about. My ds2 rolls his eyes at her but DD gets the right hump and has had a few arguments already with her! I think it's the girls age though as the one causing issues before was the same age (the ones that moved away!) so perhaps it's the same with your son's friend (??) I hope it stops soon it's not nice..

My sister's boy has ADHD you could tell from a very young age. He was totally out of control (tantrums, over reacting, or not reacting at all dependant on mood). It's not the way she has brought him up either because his younger brother is totally different :eek: He also has Autism though so perhaps this is what made him even more "difficult" (my sister's words) compared to his brother.

StressedSteph

Morning all

Thanks for the reply DFW, Very glad I did'nt say anything to the boys mother because ds claims that the boy was alot nicer on Friday. So even though I don't think the problem as totally gone away, as long as they are getting along on a basic level then that is fine with me. They dont have to be best friends but I really did'nt want to be transporting a boy twice a day that was actually nasty to ds.

Ds's main problems is a struggle to concentrate and then if his mind wonders off during class he will then start to distract others abit so I think that sometimes causes issues with friends at school.
He is also very emotional and quick to flare. He does'nt get physical or anything bad, but he will blow up and stomp off at something that seems quite triial.

Anyways, I have a busy day today. Ds needs dropping off at a birthday party at 11.30, then I have to take Dd straight to Gymnastics for 12pm until 1pm, then dash back home to be at a craft fair for 1.30ish until 5pm.

Ony took two orders last night at the school fair, which was disappointing, but it still feels very early.

I have invested in a sign to put at the bottom of our lane so i am hoping to catch passing traffic fingers crossed.

Not much else to report until hubby gets paid this weekend.
This is the last wage of November, so will pay the last two debts and move onto December.

Can't wait for Christmas and then the start of 2015. My final debt busting year (fingers crossed).

xxx

dawnybabes

Hope you had a better fair this afternoon, though it is early some people might start putting trees up next week,

Have yiu tried fish oil for ds ? It def helped my ds

StressedSteph

Afternoon,


I managed to pay my last two debts this afternoon. I now have £821 left to pay between now and the 31st December to reach my target of halving my debt in 2014. :T.


I will have paid off 10k in 2014, leaving me a final 10k in 2015.
I have proved it is possible to kill of 10k so in 2015 my aim is to try to take ALOT less than 12 months to kill off the last 10k.


I know what I am doing now and I am in control. It should be easier during 1015 to get it paid off quicker.


November does seem to have been a spendy month and I REALLY need to gain control of my misc spending.


I impulse purchased pillows for us all over the weekend as the childrens pillows looked like pancakes . I have purchased very cheap ones so I didn't go mad, but it is another £20+ I haven't budgeted for.


I also purchased Dd a leotard for her new gymnastics class which cost me £22 .


Both items felt quite important but all these little £20's build up to financial panics if I am not careful.


I went to our local B&M shop this morning and spent £40 but that was on Stocking fillers that is already budgeted for. So I shouldn't feel guilty about that.


Just got to slow myself down when I think of these things we need and maybe hold off for a week or so, so that the costs get spread out or I even then realise that we don't really NEED those items.


So easy during this festive period to lose it and go on a mad spending spree!!.


Hope you are all coping with the festive spending. I am struggling and its not EVEN December yet :rotfl:

Puzzcat

Hi Steph,


Huge pat on the back.. LOOK at what you have achieved.....


Pay10k in 2014 - 97% paid

That final 10K will disappear at a rate of knots the way you are going...:T

Puzz. x