Parents - what do you miss most about being childless?

daisiegg

Just a bit of a light-hearted thread, asking advice from all you parents out there.

My husband and I are hoping (trying) to get pregnant soon. We have had a lot of fun, plenty of holidays and nights out etc, and feel like we are ready. However, we know everything will be vastly different with children, and people keep telling us our lives will never be the same again.

With this in mind, we have a strong feeling at the moment that we should be 'making the most' of our 'freedom', before it might be too late!

We had planned a night out tonight. We are both SO tired and actually would quite like an early night. However, there is this big feeling that we should be going out and enjoying ourselves because if I get pregnant, we won't be able to do it for ages.

On the other hand........I understand you do not get a whole lot of sleep with a baby (!) so surely staying in to get sleep is also making the most of our freedom now?!

So - what do you/did you miss most about being childless? Is it worse not being able to go out enjoying yourself, or is it worse not being able to get lots of sleep and relax at home and do what you like in your own space?

(I am not asking you to decide what I do tonight, this is just a light hearted thread, though I am very interested in the answers )

balletshoes

My DD is 12, and I would say, really the only thing I "miss" is holidaying the way I would prefer to. I'm very aware when holidaying with children that I want them to be amused/entertained/not bored out of their skull.

I can spend all day in the sun by the pool with a book, a bottle of suncream, and a lounger. I don't get that luxury with kids in tow .

daisiegg

balletshoes wrote: »

My DD is 12, and I would say, really the only thing I "miss" is holidaying the way I would prefer to. I'm very aware when holidaying with children that I want them to be amused/entertained/not bored out of their skull.

I can spend all day in the sun by the pool with a book, a bottle of suncream, and a lounger. I don't get that luxury with kids in tow .

Maybe I should start sucking up to the potential grandparents now in view of future week-long babysitting stints

onlyroz

Sleep and lie-ins, both of which are non-existent for at least the first 5 years of your child's life.

[Deleted User]

I miss lie-ins. I miss being able to choose what's on the TV

I miss the lack of responsibility.

But I do quite enjoy building LEGO and marble-runs with my 4 year old. So it's all swings and roundabouts (sometimes literally)

LEJC

to be honest I was ready for a family by the time we had one....we had a house that we had refurbished,been on a few nice holidays and actually it probably still contined once baby came along!
They make excellent fliers and boots do a wonderful factor 50 suncream....


Probably initially I missed the work life and interaction I had as I didnt socialise with my previous work mates as before...but I found a new set of "mummy" friends and i guess instead of mixing with collegues over after work drinks it became coffee and cake at tumble tots


I can honestly say that having children was the next phase for us and we loved it...instead of missing out on things we gained new experiences and those things that we loved doing,baby joined in too.

Our first son was very ill for the first few years and we just got on with it thinking that was the way of having children...sleep deprivation was difficult for all of us but I think you cope an you pull together and if I had to do it all again I wouldnt change a thing

mucklebones

I miss being able to eat my dinner in one sitting and while it was still hot.

ciderwithrosie_2

I would probably say things like spontaneously deciding to go to the pub straight from work instead of going home to cook dinner and other chores or not worrying if you've not picked up any bread/milk on the way home or washed junior's football kit for tomorrow.

You have to be so organised 24/7, especially if working as well, and that was a steep learning curve for me. In fact, I've probably gone too far the other way and need to learn to relax a little now.

Northern78

Although i'm not a single parent, I spend most of my time like one as DH is in the forces so not always around.

To be honest I don't miss nights out, I think I got all that out of my system before we had DS. We were pretty late starters, I was 34 when he was born. If I do fancy a night out and DH isn't home, thankfully my parents are great at babysitting and love spending time with DS.

Lie ins, I did miss them at the start but then I started to use it to my advantage and getting the shopping done while most people were still in bed.

The one thing I do miss is being able to just 'nip out', throw a coat on, jump in the car and go. Now it's get DS ready, make sure the nappy bag has everything in it, hunt for his 'blankie' before we can go anywhere. Also as he goes to bed at 7 at night, I can no longer pop out to the shops if I've forgot anything like I used to.

clearing_out_my_pockets

mucklebones wrote: »

I miss being able to eat my dinner in one sitting and while it was still hot.

Ditto. And drinking tea when it has just been made rather than after the third blast in the microwave.

More seriously I miss being me rather than my daughter's mother. I find that people have started asking only about the baby. My mother-in-law wants to see me once a week now I've given her a granddaughter - she wasn't fussed before and that irks me a lot.

Birdie85

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Ditto. And drinking tea when it has just been made rather than after the third blast in the microwave.

More seriously I miss being me rather than my daughter's mother. I find that people have started asking only about the baby. My mother-in-law wants to see me once a week now I've given her a granddaughter - she wasn't fussed before and that irks me a lot.

My baby isn't even here yet (8 weeks left!) but I've already noticed this. People don't ask how I am, just how the baby's getting on. The baby's fine but I'm tired, sore and being beaten constantly by this delightful little creature currently inside me, thanks! MIL suddenly wants to see me all the time and just stares at my bump when I'm with her, it's creepy- I feel like saying 'My face is up here!'

Life doesn't just change when the baby is here, it changes 9 months before that so enjoy having late nights (because pregnancy turns you into a sleep monster incapable of staying up past 10.30! ), drinking your favourite cocktails and eating naughty foods like pate and soft cheese whilst you can! Oh and enjoy wearing your 'thin' clothes whilst they still fit!