gambling getting out of control

**professor~yaffle**

Put it this way mate, did you ever meet a broke bookie? :think:

paulineb_2

pe1998 wrote: »

Thanks, I have looked at a lot of the organisations that are available, and I just don't see myself in the stories people tell in the various forums. Maybe that's part of the problem.

I went a year without really gambling at all, apart from a £10 football coupon on a saturday and saved about £8000 towards the cost of our wedding.

I do think that learning to accept losses rather than abstinence would be better for me and there is nothing on any of the gambling problem websites about this.

The example I gave about Wednesday, if I didn't feel the need to win back a loss, I'd have made £82 profit. rather than a big loss.

I'm going to give gamcare a call and see how it plays out

How about, you think of a situation where, rather than trying to win back a loss, you are just throwing money you are earning down the toilet. I know its not that simple. Ive worked with addicts and I know people who have swapped one addiction for another, I know one person who had a massive drug habit, has been clean for years but gambles. Everyones story is different, but just because you dont identify with other peoples stories, doesnt mean you dont have a problem.

I think you are absolutely wrong, I think abstinence is the only way to go. Unless you can get back to spending a tenner a week on a football coupon without being tempted to spend more. This isnt going to affect you, it will affect your wife and in a few years time you could be looking at a few different scenarios.

The worst case one that your gambling gets completely out of control and you end up with very little of value left in your life, possibly including your wife

Ive spoken about this before, I dated two people who were gamblers and I never ever would again. Because someones gambling, even if its on a relatively small scale, can affect the other person. Not being able to go out because that person has gambled everything they have? Been there. Someone knocking at your door wanting to borrow money off you, because theyve spent their entire weeks wages down the bookies, also been there.

Stop trying to kid yourself on that you dont have a problem and take steps to make some changes in your life. Soon.

Mrs_Z

Well, that's I guess separates the gamblers from the 'rest of us'. When I play the lottery (and I'm only a member of the work syndicate), and it's time to hand over the money for the tickets, In my mind I'm already kissing goodbye to that tenner as I know I'm not gonna see it back.

pe1998

Tropez wrote: »

Well you could always try and seek professional help; psychology, CBT etc.

But really, speaking as someone who gambles, your whole attitude towards it is out of whack. Gambling should be treated as nothing more than a bit of fun to do from time to time; if you're chasing losses and stating that you're otherwise a "good" gambler you do have the incorrect mindset to gamble safely.

The moment you go from a quick punt on a football match to attempting to chase hundreds of pounds of losses, any facade that you are or could be a "good" gambler has long since passed.

Agree with pretty much everything you've posted. "Good" was a poor choice of adjective. My gambling at the minute is insane, but it has been profitable, as I stated in my OP. That's where I've got the word "good" from.

My gambling just now has won me money but it's too much both in monetary terms, I have just downloaded a list of my deposits and credits and there is so much potential liability there, and in pressure and stress, it's unhealthy.

also, I wasn't in any way comparing myself to a pro poker player, I was just answering a point.

Tropez

pe1998 wrote: »

Agree with pretty much everything you've posted. "Good" was a poor choice of adjective. My gambling at the minute is insane, but it has been profitable, as I stated in my OP. That's where I've got the word "good" from.

My gambling just now has won me money but it's too much both in monetary terms, I have just downloaded a list of my deposits and credits and there is so much potential liability there, and in pressure and stress, it's unhealthy.

also, I wasn't in any way comparing myself to a pro poker player, I was just answering a point.

The thing is though most people's gambling will yield a profit at some time.

It isn't the same as sportsbook betting but statistically in the first hour of entering a casino between 75% and 90% of patrons will be ahead after the first hour. After that the numbers of people who are ahead drop rapidly because the casinos have all the advantages.

A floor manager in Louis Theroux's Las Vegas gambling documentary said it - "We want them to win, else they'd never come back. If they never win they'll never come back. We want them to win a little bit and then we take all their money."

Bookmakers aren't quite the same but they utilise a similar form of seduction by being quite clever about which odds they publicise on their homepages or on those half-time adverts. They publicise a mixture of extremely likely outcomes that will net punters a small profit and outside bets that would net the punters a large profit but likely won't come to pass.

This is why they make it quite difficult sometimes to find specific matches or markets to bet on, hidden behind rows of menus and tabs - because they want to control what you bet on, thus they know you will win a bit but lose more. It is all a big game of manipulation.

The last time I checked my betting account, over the last five years I'm ahead but it is meaningless because as counter-productive as it sounds I don't really care because I've done it for fun, not to make money. That's also why I keep my bets very small.

onlyroz

You could try Gambler's Anonymous, but it's not for everybody. If you go onto their chat rooms they will frighten you half to death with talk about how you're "incurable" and how you have a disease, and how you're doomed for the rest of your life unless you attend weekly meetings forever. However, the group therapy aspect of it can work and it does help to have non-judgemental people to support you.

The most important thing, if you think your gambling is getting out of control, is to accept that you have a problem and to take positive steps to prevent you from gambling more. This means excluding yourself from *all* establishments whether online or on the high-street. If you're prone to going into bookies, or using the machines in pubs then stop taking money out with you - just enough to buy your lunch and pay your bus fare home. And you can make sure that your easy-access bank accounts are kept with a low balance so that you can't make deposits anywhere.

If you think that you'd be in danger of blowing your entire wage packet when the "red mist" descends then the best thing you could do would be to give control of your finances over to somebody else, e.g. hand over your debit cards and passwords to your online banking.

PM me if you want.

Tropez

onlyroz wrote: »

If you think that you'd be in danger of blowing your entire wage packet when the "red mist" descends then the best thing you could do would be to give control of your finances over to somebody else, e.g. hand over your debit cards and passwords to your online banking.

PM me if you want.

I know that isn't how you meant that but I did get a chuckle out of it.

trinity_enigma

pe1998 wrote: »

I went a year without really gambling at all, apart from a £10 football coupon on a saturday and saved about £8000 towards the cost of our wedding.

How many years have you been gambling? And how many of those have you made an £8000 profit? Until you can do that it doesn't really matter how 'good' you are at gambling you are never really winning.

onlyroz

Tropez wrote: »

I know that isn't how you meant that but I did get a chuckle out of it.

Yes, I'd be the *perfect* person to manage the OP's finances :eek:

pe1998

Tropez wrote: »

The thing is though most people's gambling will yield a profit at some time.

It isn't the same as sportsbook betting but statistically in the first hour of entering a casino between 75% and 90% of patrons will be ahead after the first hour. After that the numbers of people who are ahead drop rapidly because the casinos have all the advantages.

A floor manager in Louis Theroux's Las Vegas gambling documentary said it - "We want them to win, else they'd never come back. If they never win they'll never come back. We want them to win a little bit and then we take all their money."

Bookmakers aren't quite the same but they utilise a similar form of seduction by being quite clever about which odds they publicise on their homepages or on those half-time adverts. They publicise a mixture of extremely likely outcomes that will net punters a small profit and outside bets that would net the punters a large profit but likely won't come to pass.

This is why they make it quite difficult sometimes to find specific matches or markets to bet on, hidden behind rows of menus and tabs - because they want to control what you bet on, thus they know you will win a bit but lose more. It is all a big game of manipulation.

The last time I checked my betting account, over the last five years I'm ahead but it is meaningless because as counter-productive as it sounds I don't really care because I've done it for fun, not to make money. That's also why I keep my bets very small.

I don't gamble in casinos or high street bookies, I bet on a very small number of sports. I don't count football in this as i seem to be able to differentiate between this and my other gambling.

I exclusively bet on tennis, basketball, american football and baseball. All two outcome events, betting on handicap over/under markets predominately.

I think one of the reasons for this, and my inability to accept losses, is that there is are masses of statistical data available for these sports and markets. I think I get more from being proved correct than the monetary gain.