Would you leav your young family and go abroad to work?

Any

Yes and yes.
As a woman I would be thrilled my OH has the experience which looks great on CV and the fact he is making good earnings to patch up the unemployed spell and I would feel safer not having the stress of where is our next meal coming from! The feeling of financial insecurity falls heavily on the woman as well as on the man.
Up to 9 mths I wouldn't move us all,for a year plus I would start packing.

On the other hand if I earned more I think my OH would follow me too...

We had this conversation about moving on the other side of the country... it didn't come through in the end, but if it did I would be packing..
It was a great opportunity for him and I... well quite frankly I am foreigner to start off with (no great ties sentimentaly) and I believe I can get job anywhere... not for what I am qualified, but I did all sorts before and always had a good time.

Linda_D_2

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Yes - he is unemployed at the moment.

To be honest, im with him on this.

I don't see 6-9 months a big deal.

However, his wife may struggle to cope alone.

Yes of course he should go away and do it. Money is worth a billion times more than family time and being a real father

New_and_Improved_Me

Linda_D wrote: »

Yes of course he should go away and do it. Money is worth a billion times more than family time and being a real father

Lol...

Such mixed opinions

Joking aside, money is important.

It allows you to have choices, and I'm of the mindset the 9 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things and it's not like he's going to be away for the whole nine months with no contact.

As he said he would be hone every 6/7 weeks on average for a week or so.

There is things like Skype to talk to the wife and kids on a daily basis.

And yes, I agree with Linda, who said kids are his responsibility too, totally agree.

However, I kind of disagree with the harsh point of view that he HAS to be there 24/7 to look after the kids. it's not like he's dumping the kids on her and walking out. He's going away to build a better future for them all. So the wife should accept that and pick up the slack whilst he is away.

It will be hard for her, no doubt. However, it would benefit them both In the long run.

getmore4less

Where is the job how much is the travel time.

Does she work.

I did a contract away from home stint in the UK this year(OK no kids).
OH came to visit a few times had a great time, put a load of money in the bank so don't have to work again this tax year(if I was younger it could be a deposit on a house or a chunk of the mortgage).

It neeeds planning as a family, look at the options and where each leaves you the future.

Look at the travel options, if she does not work they could all go out for the school holidays(if it is somewhere nice), or he comes home but well planned around the kids and school holidays.

If the job allows for 7 day working he may be able to get more weeks off.



I guess it may come down to what you are used to, when growing up my parents were apart a few times due to work so it is something I see as normal, I have had no problem traveling with work, weeks at a time others can't cope with being away for more than a week.

New_and_Improved_Me

I think it’s a little different if it’s in the same country (ie UK).

I myself spend quite a bit of time staying away sun/mon – thru - thur/fri

Up to 5 nights away, I also have a small family too, and it’s never been an issue.

It’s just the idea of being away for 5/6 weeks at a time that seems to be worrying the wife from what he tells me.

He is all up for it.

Let’s be honest – so would I if I had the option..:)

getmore4less

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

I think it’s a little different if it’s in the same country (ie UK).

I myself spend quite a bit of time staying away sun/mon – thru - thur/fri

Up to 5 nights away, I also have a small family too, and it’s never been an issue.

It’s just the idea of being away for 5/6 weeks at a time that seems to be worrying the wife from what he tells me.

He is all up for it.

Let’s be honest – so would I if I had the option..:)

No difference just the travel gets longer.

I was away all all week 7 days and for 5+ months in the end weekly commutes for me were not practical. I took a break in the middle.

The trick is to manage the time when you will be together, thats why looking at the wife and kids traveling is important they can travel while you work.

My OH came to visit travel on the thurs/fri back Mon/tues 2+ weeks later so we had 3 full weekends much the same as if I had been working from home. She found plenty to do in a new city for two weeks while I worked and we had the evenings.

It all about the planning but it is the place not that distance that decides if travel both ways is practical.


If it is a place family could visit or there is somewhere between/near, over the next 9 months there are 2 weeks at easter and 6 weeks in the summer depending on how far 1/2 term might be practical as well

IT may be the rest of tha family can get a lot out of this as well as all have the benifit of a few extra £ in the bank.

Tiddlywinks

It depends where the contract is... some places come with a heightened risk such as kidnap (especially for American and Western European contractors) or civil unrest.

A family member worked away in Holland and Germany very successfully but when he went to Russia it became more difficult... weather, travel, culture...

I come from a military background so have first hand experience of partners working away for long periods... it's all about the planning and mutual understanding of the pressures that separation brings.

duchy

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Yes - he is unemployed at the moment.

To be honest, im with him on this.

I don't see 6-9 months a big deal.

However, his wife may struggle to cope alone.

Yes but you are presumably his mate not his wife.
Will you be there when she needs help with the kids, if she gets sick and can't take the kids to school, if the washing machine floods or the lights fuse, if the kids get sick-will you be there holding the sick bowl for them whilst she gets some sleep .....

I'd guess you don't have children yourself or you'd realize there's a bit more to it. You also haven't mentioned WHAT his wife thinks of the idea.

You blithely say "his wife may struggle" without any thought about what that may actually mean both to her and his children.....and the negative impact it may have on his marriage. I'm guessing you are single !! You are seeing this from a single man's perspective not from a husband and father perspective.

I know this sounds harsh but I was married with a young child to a man who travelled a lot with work and it is difficult. Kids simply don't understand why "Daddy has gone away" and will often have problems because of this -it needs the Mum to be behind the idea 100% to make it work or her unhappiness at the situation can make it much harder for the children to cope ...as well as the more practical issues. Six weeks is lifetime to a small child.

New_and_Improved_Me

getmore4less wrote: »

No difference just the travel gets longer.

I was away all all week 7 days and for 5+ months in the end weekly commutes for me were not practical. I took a break in the middle.

The trick is to manage the time when you will be together, thats why looking at the wife and kids traveling is important they can travel while you work.

My OH came to visit travel on the thurs/fri back Mon/tues 2+ weeks later so we had 3 full weekends much the same as if I had been working from home. She found plenty to do in a new city for two weeks while I worked and we had the evenings.

It all about the planning but it is the place not that distance that decides if travel both ways is practical.


If it is a place family could visit or there is somewhere between/near, over the next 9 months there are 2 weeks at easter and 6 weeks in the summer depending on how far 1/2 term might be practical as well

IT may be the rest of tha family can get a lot out of this as well as all have the benifit of a few extra £ in the bank.

That's all good in theory.

However, he will be working in the middle east, the cost of flights (*4 – 1 adult 3 kids (Circ. 2/3K)) and transport to the from airports plus accommodation.

He would be living in hotel or 1 bed apartment, to allow his family to come over for weeks at a time he would need at least a 2 bed (Preferably 3 bed) apartment.

This would negate any financial benefits.

It would make more financial sense for him to come home 1 flight rather than 4.

New_and_Improved_Me

duchy wrote: »

Yes but you are presumably his mate not his wife.
Will you be there when she needs help with the kids, if she gets sick and can't take the kids to school, if the washing machine floods or the lights fuse, if the kids get sick-will you be there holding the sick bowl for them whilst she gets some sleep .....

I'd guess you don't have children yourself or you'd realize there's a bit more to it. You also haven't mentioned WHAT his wife thinks of the idea.

You blithely say "his wife may struggle" without any thought about what that may actually mean both to her and his children.....and the negative impact it may have on his marriage. I'm guessing you are single !! You are seeing this from a single man's perspective not from a husband and father perspective.

Good Points.

Having said that men think differently to women. I do have a young family and from a purely selfish point of view would love to go work in a foreign country.

As I said I say away weeks on end in the UK and to be perfectly honest - I would not see this being any different.

It would just mean I’m away 5-6 weeks and home 1 for 6-9 months.