Urgent advice needed please!

lexuslass

I have a friend who is splitting from her husband... There's lots of things going on, but there's one thing I need urgent advice on please:

He basically has had trackers fitted on her car and is hacking into all her personal accounts.. Email, Facebook etc

That was a couple of months ago...

The thing that has unnerved me this evening is that he has fitted CCTV around the house and she has been told that any visitors (family or friends) are banned from the house... He says he has legal advice and is within his rights to do so!

Is this right? He has been very controlling over her since day one.

Be grateful for any advice!

Thanks in advance! X

julie2710

She should change all the passwords etc on her personal accounts and block him or set up new accounts on a computer that he has no access to and ensure there are no links to her original accounts.

If the car belongs to her I would have it in the garage first thing tomorrow and get the tracker removed.

I would disconnect the CCTV cameras or get the hell out of the house as soon as possible. What is it that he thinks gives him a legal right to stalk her? Is she living in the house on her own?

I would also be tempted to notify the local police and get this behaviour logged if it feels in anyway threatening to her. Stalking is illegal regardless of your relationship.

lexuslass

They have two children (8 and 5).. He is manipulating the children telling them if they live with daddy they get to live in the big house but if they live with mummy, then they won't even have wallpaper etc.

The car that was tracked has since been sold and her parents have helped her purchase a new one.. Likewise with her phone. We think he is accessing info through wifi.. Is this possible?

It's the latest CCTV that I find worrying! Surely she is within her rights to disconnect it? He is adamant he has legal rights to do so!!

julie2710

He would still have to have passwords etc to access her accounts even on wifi so she needs to change them.

You didn't say what the current living circumstances are. Is she living with him and the children or has he/she moved out?

Unfortunately she won't be able to influence what he tells the children and its sad to say he isn't the first nor will he be the last to try and manipulate children in that way. If its any consolation, at those ages she can keep the children with her and unless the children are at risk in some way it is pretty unlikely that a judge would decide to remove them and put them with their father and they are certainly too young to be asked for their own opinions, so really he's just wasting his breathe! Hard though it will be she should try and just brush it off with the children. I would laugh and just say something like "my doesn't daddy come up with some funny stories!" Don't resort to the same tactics. She doesn't need to lower herself to those levels to keep the respect of her children, they will appreciate her all the more for it in the future.

lexuslass

Yes, they are still living together, but in separate bedrooms (have been for a few years!)

He has some sort of court order in place keeping the children in the family home until march.. She can move out but the children can't.

Understandably, she's not going anywhere without the children so is stuck!

This is a guy that has never attended any of the children's sports days, nativities, or anything! Even last year, I had a party on New Year's Eve...he was 'ill' or rather it turned out afterwards he was spending the evening on his play station!

Person_one

http://www.womensaid.org.uk

meritaten

she doesn't have to disconnect it. just get someone with a ladder and some black paint............! leave it there - this is further evidence of his unreasonable behaviour!

lexuslass

meritaten wrote: »

she doesn't have to disconnect it. just get someone with a ladder and some black paint............! leave it there - this is further evidence of his unreasonable behaviour!

Love it... That was my initial suggestion..but he has driven it into her that he is within is rights to do so! She is a turning into an emotional wreck at the moment!!

Pechow

She shouldn't change her passwords on the same machine she uses to access them (if a computer), in case he has a keylogger installed. A new email/other altogether would be better, as he might be able to simply reaccess accounts by going through the security questions, etc. Make sure the passwords are more complicated than (wordNumber) or anything guessable.

If she is using a computer of any kind, she should really back up the important things and do a full reinstall of the machine (or get someone else to-take it to a computer store and explain the situation, they might help for cheap) in case there really is stuff installed on it.

lexuslass

Thank you!!!! :A

Tiddlywinks

Tell her to seek professional legal advice.

What else can we say? None of us - yourself included - knows the facts so best not to second guess.

Professional advice + support from Women's Aid is the only way forward unless she wants to continue as she is.