Feeling wretched........

marisco_2

xxdeebeexx wrote: »

My friend overdosed on sleeping tablets and alcohol yesterday....
She has made a full recovery and is now out of hospital .....

Physically your friend may have made a full recovery from her overdose. Though to be in that state yesterday and out of hospital all okay already seems like a very fast turnaround to me! Something to be justifiably sceptical about. Going by what you have described of her behaviours and approaches, she is in a very fragile mental and emotional state though. She wont get better till she accepts that she requires professional help to deal with her issues. Telling her that would be the kindest thing you could do.

littlerat

I have depression and anxiety, I've got a LOT of friends with some form of mental health issues.

The reality is, some people can be helped, supported, by family and friends, they'll try to get better. May not always succeed, but will try, and they'll also do their best to be there for their friends.


Others just constantly drain the people around them. If you cut all contact, once she's given up guilting you, she'll find someone else, act like a great friend for a few months, then start this cycle again. It's sad, and people like this are in need of help - but unless they realise how severe their issues are, it's a never ending cycle. They need professional help which they typically, will not comply with properly, sadly.


My honest suggestion is to severely limit contact, or cut it. I know she's going to make threats about hurting herself, and that must be terrifying, but if she's going to hurt herself ultimately, it's due to her mental health issues, not due to you, and she'd do it eventually anyway. Most do not succeed - more likely she'll take excess and phone an ambulance. Hopefully she's in an area where they'll take this cry for help seriously and get her some care.


I know this may sound harsh, but you can't allow her to ruin your marriage and possibly your health - it's not going to help her in the slightest.

DigForVictory

It's very hard to keep anwering the phone - and to carry the weight of someone leaning on you so hard.

I'm sure your husband will be delighted to arrange caller ID display if it means he gets more time with you - but you need to sort it even if he doesn't.
As this time it is *your* mental health you are looking after.

She needs help, but from people who can support her in different ways. Do not let this get you down - it's entirely right that you try to be there for a friend, and equally right that you pass her on to specialist care when she needs it & she has arrived at that stage.

Errata

I'm another who is very doubtful about the hospital admission and its length.
Could you have an honest think about what she wants from you? You're enabling her to have three hours of phone conversations each and every day with you which may in her eyes be usefully preventing her from accessing the professional support she seems to clearly need.
Sorry if this sounds blunt, I've tried to be as sensitive to your feelings as possible.

elmer

Caller display is normally a few quid a month from you telephone provider, you call and ask for it to be added to your account, its a godsend for batty in laws and friends !!!!

elmer

lika_86

Do you have voicemail? Could you just tell your friends and family that you won't answer the phone but to leave you a quick message, then you could phone them back?

I do this with my mobile, I get calls from people trying to sell me stuff (I put them on call block but they keep finding me) so I as policy don't answer calls unless it's from a number I know, if it's an unknown/random number and it's important, they'll leave a message. If not, then it's not that important!