Funeral flowers

Tuesday_Tenor

I'd be reluctant to spend much on flowers that were only going to be left behind at a crematorium.

However, for each of my parent's funerals we had a large spray of roses, which we brought home with us and laid out in the garden, under a tree, so we could view it from the house for a week. This seemed right for us. It wouldn't have felt right dismantling the arrangement to have the fowers in vases in the house instead. It was a unique part of the funeral/remembering process, not any old flowers.

The flowers lasted about a week. In Dad's case, there was a frost and the red roses, frosted, were so beautiful and unusual that we took some close-up photos. We're going to use the best one to make up (Christmas) cards. We call the picture "Dad's rose" and it feels like a last gift from him. So, by no means a one-off 'waste of money', but a rather special momento.

tattycath

mumps wrote: »

If your mother wants flowers that is her decision, sometimes I think people can go a bit OTT with money saving. I know when my uncle died a year ago at 86 his widow was pleased with the flowers, it made her feel he was loved and valued and that people cared. Maybe buy something nice and get some florists cellophane and wrap it? Or tie with a nice ribbon?

When my MIL died we had family flowers and donations to a charity for everyone else. The thing I didn't think about was the charity seeing us as a ripe for the picking with begging letters a plenty in the coming months. If I went down the charity route again I wouldn't give them any contact details, I don't know if all charities would be like this but we gave to a charity that meant something to MIL not one that we give to as we support children's charities and she had a specific cause she cared about.

Hope you mum is OK, it is hard losing someone you love and it seems worse when it is so close to Christmas as everyone is so focused on having a good time and she won't feel like that. My aunt had lots of invites for last Christmas but wanted to be alone, she said she would feel she had to try and be happy and didn't feel she could do it for a whole day.

Just had another thought, you can buy flowers through a cash back site like Quidco or Top Cash Back, at least you would get something back. Good luck.

I totally agree it should be her decision. My Mum wanted family flowers when we lost my Dad. She stipulated 'family flowers only but donations in lieu of ***** if so desired'.
They were expensive really but myself and siblings and our partners all offered to chip in to help pay for them.
My Mum took comfort in seeing the flowers and we retrieved the cards for her to keep.
This may sound a bit bizarre but my DD took some photos of the flowers for me too.

mumps

tattycath wrote: »

I totally agree it should be her decision. My Mum wanted family flowers when we lost my Dad. She stipulated 'family flowers only but donations in lieu of ***** if so desired'.
They were expensive really but myself and siblings and our partners all offered to chip in to help pay for them.
My Mum took comfort in seeing the flowers and we retrieved the cards for her to keep.
This may sound a bit bizarre but my DD took some photos of the flowers for me too.

I am glad they gave your Mum comfort, that is the important thing. I don't think it is bizarre at all, it is something very important for you.

his_missus

When my dad died a few weeks ago, mum also asked for donations from all but close family. Mum bought a wreath, I bought a long display (can't think what the shape was officially called), my sister a posy and the 2 grand daughters bought a single rose each.

Mum took her wreath home and put it in the garden, I took mine home and placed it in front of fire (it's now outside as it's drooping) sister sent hers to my aunty who was in hospital and just the 2 roses remained with dad.

There is so much pressure to follow traditions at funerals. I hope filo, your mum did what she wanted to do not what others expected of her xx

Shelldean

G6jns

You should edit you post and remove the quote, otherwise they'll remove the spam but it will still be seen in your post

duchy

Yuck-I've heard of ambulance chasers.....coffin chasers is a new low- Reported !

We recently lost my FIL and his 85 year old widow was insistent that everything should be done "properly" . She'd have been horrified if someone had suggested flowers were a waste of money. We used a local florist who offered better value than the undertakers.

to my MIL a cross from her was "proper" and the rest of the family sent sprays. Yes from a purely MS point of view it probably wasn't the best value but as a gesture to a man who had spent his 87 years devoted to his family -it wasn't a lot of money and made his widow happy she was "doing right" by him so was worth every penny.

FatVonD

duchy wrote: »

Yuck-I've heard of ambulance chasers.....coffin chasers is a new low- Reported !

.........Likewise!

Shelldean

Shelldean wrote: »

G6jns

You should edit you post and remove the quote, otherwise they'll remove the spam but it will still be seen in your post

I requote because the spam has gone yet g6jns post still shows it

g6jns_2

Shelldean wrote: »

G6jns

You should edit you post and remove the quote, otherwise they'll remove the spam but it will still be seen in your post

Done! Brain fade.