Funeral flowers

margaretclare

There is no requirement at all to have any flowers at a funeral. If you feel you must have them, buy a bunch of flowers from Tesco on the way to the funeral.

DH and I do not 'do' flowers if we go to a funeral, although, at one we attended, we were asked 'where was our wreath'?

We do give to charity in lieu of flowers. In addition to RNLI there is the Air Ambulance which is a life-saver and often works with Mountain Rescue.

mumps

If your mother wants flowers that is her decision, sometimes I think people can go a bit OTT with money saving. I know when my uncle died a year ago at 86 his widow was pleased with the flowers, it made her feel he was loved and valued and that people cared. Maybe buy something nice and get some florists cellophane and wrap it? Or tie with a nice ribbon?

When my MIL died we had family flowers and donations to a charity for everyone else. The thing I didn't think about was the charity seeing us as a ripe for the picking with begging letters a plenty in the coming months. If I went down the charity route again I wouldn't give them any contact details, I don't know if all charities would be like this but we gave to a charity that meant something to MIL not one that we give to as we support children's charities and she had a specific cause she cared about.

Hope you mum is OK, it is hard losing someone you love and it seems worse when it is so close to Christmas as everyone is so focused on having a good time and she won't feel like that. My aunt had lots of invites for last Christmas but wanted to be alone, she said she would feel she had to try and be happy and didn't feel she could do it for a whole day.

Just had another thought, you can buy flowers through a cash back site like Quidco or Top Cash Back, at least you would get something back. Good luck.

madbadrob

margaretclare wrote: »

There is no requirement at all to have any flowers at a funeral. If you feel you must have them, buy a bunch of flowers from Tesco on the way to the funeral.

DH and I do not 'do' flowers if we go to a funeral, although, at one we attended, we were asked 'where was our wreath'?

We do give to charity in lieu of flowers. In addition to RNLI there is the Air Ambulance which is a life-saver and often works with Mountain Rescue.

I should have thought of the air ambulance especially as my brother was airlifted to hospital this year after a motorbike accident. That said I think the Air Ambulance should be funded centrally like the police helicopters are. They do a far better service as well

Rob

Errata

Given the weather, any flowers left at the grave or crematorium will be as dead as a doornail the following day unless someone volunteers to take them away immediately after the service and take them to a hospital or residential home.
I can understand mum wanting to do something, so perhaps a very small spray of carnations with some greenery from her alone might fit the bill?
It really is fairly unusual these days to see stacks of flowers when someone dies, except for Big Fat Gypsy Funerals; donations to a charity is a much nicer way of paying respects to someone who has died.

BobQ

I agree flowers are not required. A lot depends on what can afford, but also what the deceased would have wanted. If the deceased thought that flowers were a waste of time then that gives a clear steer. Even if he wanted flowers you do not have to waste money but it does give you some idea what to tell others.

A single flower, a simple bunch, even a holly wreath can be inexpensive alternatives. Also if he was a serviceman you could just have a flag.

gwynlas

Sorry for your loss but you're mum shouldn't waste money unnecessarily.
Many florists do Holly wreathes and crosses for people to place on graves at this time of year so that would be ideal. Otherwise ask florist to crate a low table arrangement that the Funeral Director could return to your mum or a cellophane wrapped bouquet which could be used as cut flowers later. All of above should cost maximum of 20 pounds and wreathes for crematoriums are usually a complete waste of money as cleared away very quickly at least for burials they last a while and can be photographed for remembrance.
Other ideas are to personalise top of coffin with mementoes of hobbies, maybe a book with ribbon bookmark with a pinned on small corsage, I've heard of a piece of knitting that was in progress and uncompleted being placed on coffin. Potted plants, bulbs etc can also be wrapped in florists cellophane with purple ribbon.
Think of coffin as a flat surface and you could put anything on there such as favourite tankard, family photos in frames etc etc

Mardle

I didn't buy flowers for my mother's funeral & neither did my children. Instead we planted trees in the National Forest. They have planting days where you can go and plant the trees yourself. My grandchildren each planted a tree for their great-grandmother & had a thoroughly enjoyable time doing it.

We have the GPS co-ordinates of 'our' trees so will be able to visit them to see how they're growing.

SandC

Agree with the others, your mum shouldn't do anything just because she feels it's 'what you do'. My uncle was adamant there should be no fuss (up to him no funeral at all but we had to overrule him on that!). We simply laid his old favourite cap on the coffin - far more poignant than any floral arrangement could have been.

Edit: I'm so sorry I should have checked the date on the original post, my apologies.

Alexsmith

Spending money on the flower is not good at all, you can use some flower to represent your love and you can donate some money in some charity. It will be helpful to others. Spending on money on things that no one will see any longer is not good

BargainJunky

When my grandad died it was agreed that he was to have no flowers apart from one wreath on his coffin. My auntie (his daughter) in her wisdom then suddenly decided he would like flowers so to keep the peace I had a few red roses hand tied in cellophane by the local florist - I think it cost less than £10 and I then sent the £50 that I would have wasted on flowers to Warren Pearl the local Marie Curie hospice who cared for him. At the burial me and my cousins each threw one of the roses on top of the coffin.