Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

tomterm8

zagubov wrote: »

Back in the first millenium there used to be mystical depressions that drove people to sit on poles in the desert for long periods. The mental states involved are difficult to recreate now.

I don't think that was the only one but it's one that stuck in my mind as I remember reading about pole-squatters ages ago.

I think this book dealt with it and if there's a meet-up you can borrow my copy.

Sounds highly improbable to me. There must be a difference between expression of emotions, and emotions. How you express an emotion would depend on your cultural norms and expectations, but the actual emotion seems most likely to be universal among human beings.

So, for example, the feeling of religious ecstasy you mention was expressed via hermit behavior might also be expressed through modern day evangelical Christians in the united states during laying on of hands and speaking in tongues. Or even modern day Buddhists during yogic meditation.

It may very well be the same emotions that are at play, but a different cultural expression of those emotions.

Nikkster

lemonjelly wrote: »

This is a kinda thing that's confused me about a lot of people I know in relationships. Sometimes, the way they behave towards one another really confuses me. I cannot fathom why they act or say things that are clearly designed to be hurtful. & so frequently!

I think there is a lot of truth in 'you hurt those closest to you' type phrases.

And some situations/ people just bring out the worst in you.

On a good day I'm selfish and stubborn. But I can also be the most bitter kind of vile

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

I think there is a lot of truth in 'you hurt those closest to you' type phrases.

And some situations/ people just bring out the worst in you.

On a good day I'm selfish and stubborn. But I can also be the most bitter kind of vile

so we just get your very, very best moments!?

tomterm8

lemonjelly wrote: »

This is a kinda thing that's confused me about a lot of people I know in relationships. Sometimes, the way they behave towards one another really confuses me. I cannot fathom why they act or say things that are clearly designed to be hurtful. & so frequently!
.

Part of it is trust.

As in, when you are in a stonking bad mood (happens to us all) you're more likely to take it out on someone who won't, i.e, hold it against you for the rest of your life.

Nikkster

lostinrates wrote: »

so we just get your very, very best moments!?

Yup :eek:

I'm proud to call myself a Nice Person, but I'd never describe myself as nice! (I do have nice moments every now and again).

michaels

Much better a partner who knows what they want and is able to communicate that than one who doesn't know / won't say.

Nikkster

michaels wrote: »

Much better a partner who knows what they want and is able to communicate that than one who doesn't know / won't say.

But also better to communicate early before it has festered and comes out in bad-tempered circumstances too.

GDB2222

zagubov wrote: »

Positive thoughts please. DD going into hospital for an op tomorrow.

My very positive thoughts are with you, plus hopes for a very positive, successful outcome.

SingleSue

Youngest has managed to pick up another horrible cold, so no school today. He is completely wiped out with it and went downhill amazingly fast. 5pm yesterday, no sign, 10 last night, absolutely full of it and feeling very poorly.

He is sleeping right now but when he got up briefly this morning for the toilet, he was barely able to stand..why is it always youngest getting these things? His body just cannot deal with colds like other children.

*Before anyone answers, I know it is because his immune system is not as strong as others, hence the picking up everything going and not being able to fight it off as easily, I was just ranting.

zagubov

tomterm8 wrote: »

Sounds highly improbable to me. There must be a difference between expression of emotions, and emotions. How you express an emotion would depend on your cultural norms and expectations, but the actual emotion seems most likely to be universal among human beings.

So, for example, the feeling of religious ecstasy you mention was expressed via hermit behavior might also be expressed through modern day evangelical Christians in the united states during laying on of hands and speaking in tongues. Or even modern day Buddhists during yogic meditation.

It may very well be the same emotions that are at play, but a different cultural expression of those emotions.

That may be so. It's quite a tricky area as we've got privileged access to our own mental states and we can know what we're experiencing.

I think one of the core ideas was that the human brain and mind shows enormous plasticity and can adapt to any circumstances. There may be some limits to what we can think about but I'm not sure we're there yet, and maybe there's a range of potential emotional states we don't always experience but potentially could. Schadenfreude and so on.

It was actually one of the snooziest bits of that course I'm afraid and didn't come alive for me.