Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

This f***ing anxiety is really starting to annoy me now, it's just not going away. It dials up and down but just won't stop.

What would you advise a good friend to do if they described this to you?


I saw an acquaintance yesterday afternoon who has been put on beta blockers for panic attacks and anxiety after having a panic attack a work. It might be worth chatting to a GP? I think the problem with negative ' emotions' ( anxiety seems more than an emotion and i don't want you t think i am dismissing it, i'm certainly not) is they feed themselves and give themselves strength because we have something to feel 'bad' about while they are making us feel bad regardless / in spite or usually as well as what else is going wrong in life.

Gen, this might sound silly, but have you had a good cry? It might help a bit?

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

What would you advise a good friend to do if they described this to you?


I saw an acquaintance yesterday afternoon who has been put on beta blockers for panic attacks and anxiety after having a panic attack a work. It might be worth chatting to a GP? I think the problem with negative ' emotions' ( anxiety seems more than an emotion and i don't want you t think i am dismissing it, i'm certainly not) is they feed themselves and give themselves strength because we have something to feel 'bad' about while they are making us feel bad regardless / in spite or usually as well as what else is going wrong in life.

Gen, this might sound silly, but have you had a good cry? It might help a bit?

I have Valium which I use occasionally. That provides 4 hours of relief but just postpones things. I would really rather not use a drug on a daily basis for the rest of my life, especially one with some pretty funky side effects as beta blockers seem to have. Given the choice between sex and anxiety I choose anxiety.

I think that the fundamental problem is that I've worked very hard at a career for the past 20 years that I don't want to do. I hate working in corporations and I hate working for idiots that use phrases like 'in that space', 'go live' and 'drop dead date'. The more senior I've become, the more I've had to lie about my 'buy in' (another one) into all this. It's hard to describe exactly how little I think of most of the people I've spent the last 20 years around yet have tried very hard to be nice to or at least professional around.

The end of it is now in sight thanks to Mrs Generali finally recognising about 6 years ago that it's not really fair for me to flog myself through this while she sits about. I've always struggled with getting over the line though, doing the last little bit of something. I think a big chunk of what I'm experiencing is that same problem: I've made it this far and I can see myself doing something I actually enjoy for a living and I'm faltering. It doesn't make things any easier though.

PasturesNew

Generali wrote: »

Louis Armstrong would be feted as one of the greatest musicians in history if he was white IMHO.

I think he was - and it's a generation issue not a black/white issue. When I was growing up he was so feted.... but the modern generation have replaced him with more recent people.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Gen, this might sound silly, but have you had a good cry? It might help a bit?

I haven't really, not for a few years and I think you're right it might.

I was going round the massive new Bunnings (B&Q) near us today and I had sudden thought that I just wanted to sit down in the middle of the aisle and start crying but I thought perhaps I'd never stop again.

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

I have Valium which I use occasionally. That provides 4 hours of relief but just postpones things. I would really rather not use a drug on a daily basis for the rest of my life, especially one with some pretty funky side effects as beta blockers seem to have. Given the choice between sex and anxiety I choose anxiety.

I think that the fundamental problem is that I've worked very hard at a career for the past 20 years that I don't want to do. I hate working in corporations and I hate working for idiots that use phrases like 'in that space', 'go live' and 'drop dead date'. The more senior I've become, the more I've had to lie about my 'buy in' (another one) into all this. It's hard to describe exactly how little I think of most of the people I've spent the last 20 years around yet have tried very hard to be nice to or at least professional around.

The end of it is now in sight thanks to Mrs Generali finally recognising about 6 years ago that it's not really fair for me to flog myself through this while she sits about. I've always struggled with getting over the line though, doing the last little bit of something. I think a big chunk of what I'm experiencing is that same problem: I've made it this far and I can see myself doing something I actually enjoy for a living and I'm faltering. It doesn't make things any easier though.

Ok, well its good to know that mrs gen nor you are suffering so badly ATM that sex is off the table (or bed). :T

I think doing anything now (and I'm not suggesting any drug in particular, it would be beyond my remit or knowledge) doesn't have to mean for ever, just long enough to break a cycle. But I also appreciate, and fwiw would choose for myself, a drug free option if possible.

So if sex beats beta blockers, and its still on the cards, is there any one can take the kids for a couple of nights while you have a romantic no holds barred weekend of anxiety abating, pulse raving in a different way forty eight hours?

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

I haven't really, not for a few years and I think you're right it might.

I was going round the massive new Bunnings (B&Q) near us today and I had sudden thought that I just wanted to sit down in the middle of the aisle and start crying but I thought perhaps I'd never stop again.

Can you?

Either hole up somewhere at home while the kids are out, or nip out some where secluded inthe car?

It doesn't help to hold it all in darling one. Its not weak or unmanly or any old tosh about that.its healthy. Its ...emotional detox. Sweating from the soul through the eyes.


I'm a huge fan of crying for release. Emotions are hugely strong things, and can pull one down like dead weight, and we have these release valves for a reason I think. If one is reasonating as a possible help.......use it!!!!

lostinrates

I dunno, perfect makeup....and I forgot to use water proof mascara, first job on my list is pruning the dogwood......in the rain.

PasturesNew

Generali wrote: »

...(B&Q) ... I just wanted to

Shopping does that to me too
B&Q ... I mean - people go to Aus for the LIFESTYLE.... not shopping!

Nikkster

PasturesNew wrote: »

Shopping does that to me too
B&Q ... I mean - people go to Aus for the LIFESTYLE.... not shopping!

It was only on my third (post- house) trip to B&Q that I managed to get over feeling overwhelmed by it and actually buy something!

Nikkster

Generali wrote: »

The end of it is now in sight

I often find that that it the most difficult part to deal with.

I find it easier to grit my teeth and get on with things, make plans for how it will change etc etc.
Then it gets closer to becoming a reality...

Try not to be so hard on yourself - life has taken care of that for you. Whilst you are a super person, you are not superhuman (as far as I know).

Take care gen.