Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Oh gen.


Will she /does she take medication/ get other help? I'm sorry for you all having to suffer this. I hope she gets well soon. It might not last long. You both have been through the mill you know, over the years.

She used to. She decided a couple of years back to stop taking it as it was messing with other parts of her life. I can see that as the pills are a little zombifying.

Experience tells me this will last 1-2 years. Perhaps it's different this time as the kids are a bit older and she has more experience dealing with it.

lostinrates wrote: »

Kids ok?

Very.

Generali

tomterm8 wrote: »

My experience of living with someone with depression is that it sucks, and it's pretty easy to end up depressed yourself. It's actually catching. So take care of yourself.

I try. It's a really interesting comment that "it's catching". I agree: it's easy to get dragged down by it. Friends have previously suggested that I leave her to it but I couldn't do that.

Doozergirl wrote: »

Oh dear, Gen, I'm not sure what to say, except that I understand and feel for you. I'm guilty of the messy house thing, can't explain it, hate it, especially as it's self sabotage.

It's worth keeping looking for a solution. Is there something that triggers it?

Stress and worry are the main triggers I think but sometimes it just happens.

Spirit_2

Gen, I am sorry to hear about this. It is so hard, is she going to be able to engage with healthcare professionals or is that too tricky? Do her family know and can they offer support?

Generali

Spirit wrote: »

Gen, I am sorry to hear about this. It is so hard, is she going to be able to engage with healthcare professionals or is that too tricky? Do her family know and can they offer support?

Her family are, with respect, a nightmare. Brother is selfish and self absorbed although quite fun. Sister takes joy from being a [lady dog]. If she gets upset with life she tries to make it much worse for everyone else.

Mum is generous with 'stuff' but entirely self centered.

You remember that old insurance ad with the tag line, "We won't make a drama out of a crisis"...? Mrs Generali's family could learn from that.:exclamati

tomterm8

Depression is one of those things where the male instinct is to "fix" the problem.

For some people medicine, therapy etc can be helpful, but if you've already tried them and you're in a relapse it's pretty likely the depression isn't "fixable" and you've just got to endure it. To try to support the other person while remembering that the depression isn't anyone's fault, it just is. Like, if someone is in a car accident and loses their leg you wouldn't rush out to tell them to pull themselves together.

Generali's experience of one or two years sounds about right to me.

Edit: Nothing about this post should be taken to mean not going to seek medical advice. That's sensible.

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

Her family are, with respect, a nightmare. Brother is selfish and self absorbed although quite fun. Sister takes joy from being a [lady dog]. If she gets upset with life she tries to make it much worse for everyone else.

Mum is generous with 'stuff' but entirely self centered.

You remember that old insurance ad with the tag line, "We won't make a drama out of a crisis"...? Mrs Generali's family could learn from that.:exclamati

Her family are, with respect, a dream. Her lovely husband loves her and her children are healthy and from the little we hear of them, all respects ok.


The others are just the hangover family we don't get any say in. The impact they have on us is not inconsiderable, but mrs gen has obviously made very sensible choices since.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Her family are, with respect, a dream. Her lovely husband loves her and her children are healthy and from the little we hear of them, all respects ok.


The others are just the hangover family we don't get any say in. The impact they have on us is not inconsiderable, but mrs gen has obviously made very sensible choices since.

Thank you.

You write some beautiful things sometimes.

vivatifosi

Gen, so sorry to hear this. I think you have been hinting at something awry for a while now but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly.

I can only offer you my thoughts and best wishes as it is something I don't have experience of. Are there newer medicines with fewer side effects? Would you be better off in the UK with your support mechanism or would that make things worse?

Oh Gen, after the year from he'll I've had I feel so upbeat this morning. The last thing any of us want to think is you are about to embark on such a journey - again. I hope that there are non-family mechanisms that you can lean on, be that good friends or support groups for family members. My thoughts are with Mrs Gen and the generalissimos too.

Generali

tomterm8 wrote: »

Depression is one of those things where the male instinct is to "fix" the problem.

For some people medicine, therapy etc can be helpful, but if you've already tried them and you're in a relapse it's pretty likely the depression isn't "fixable" and you've just got to endure it. To try to support the other person while remembering that the depression isn't anyone's fault, it just is. Like, if someone is in a car accident and loses their leg you wouldn't rush out to tell them to pull themselves together.

Generali's experience of one or two years sounds about right to me.

Edit: Nothing about this post should be taken to mean not going to seek medical advice. That's sensible.

Unfortunately, I think that for Mrs Generali her depression is rather like Churchill's Black Dog. He's always sitting in the corner of the room waiting for her.

Yorkie1

So sorry to hear this, Gen. Hope that somehow things can be different this time and that you all come through it sooner than anticipated. Take care of yourself.