Mag daily suggestion/request?

mh1923

Please can we stop with the personal attacks, either active or passive?

Either you like the system the way it is, or you like my suggestion, or you have a suggestion of your own. Accusations and rehashing old arguments is Not Relevant.

rugmaker

Millie, I appreciate what you are trying to do. I too have changes that I would like to see to the way the mag dailies are listed, and they are probably not incompatable with what others want. I really do think that there is a solution here that will satisfy almost everybody if it is carefully thought out.

However, the board guides have made it clear that nothing will now change until after Christmas. I know how frustrating that is, I really do. But it seems to be the way things are.

I would suggest that we all set this aside for now, focus on all those advents and winning as much as possible, and return for a reasonable debate in the new year when we have all calmed down a bit and, if we want, had some more time to think through any ideas or suggestions we might have. I fear that any more threads on the mag dailies this year are just going to stir up more arguments and we can all live without that.

Luckyone

toniq wrote: »

Luckyone this has beyond me getting wound up it's puttin me in tears as I don't want the stress of constantly being got at over this.

Leave me be leave my name out of things I'm really asking you nicely as it is making me ill all this crap, I just don't need it in my life, mse is my special escape as someone once put it it sure doesn't feel it nowadays.

Toniq,

I don't want to upset you what so ever. I certainly do not what you to be in tears at all. I too have been in tears the other day over it.

I do not want to get anyone PPR'ed or Infracted I myself came out of a Infraction last night which lasted 3 months (do they always last that long) :eek: which was awful & I cried myself silly for two weeks which Fire**flly can vouch for me as I was pming her becaus I needed to talk about it. I was totally gutted.

I can totally understand this is your escape place because it is mine too, my distraction, my little bit of happy hope that I win something lovely. It also give me a sense of purpose.

I don't want that to change for me or you.

Life is so very hard, we all need somewhere we can hide from it sometimes.

I hold my hand out in a gesture of hope that you will shake it

LO xxx

mh1923

I understand changes aren't going to be made quickly, if at all. But does that mean we shouldn't discuss it?

Then again, people are getting awfully heated about something so utterly insignificant. So maybe we shouldn't. :doh:

becky004

Please feel free to report me for abuse, a few months ago LO, you and I exchanged several PM's as you were distraught over what you claimed was abuse from another member (even though I told you to take it with a pinch of salt, as the member was a well known and rather well liked wind up merchant, that meant no harm).
Over the last few months I have found many of your posts to be courting conflict on many issues, not just this particular one. You have been rude about BG's and the way they handle the boards, rude to long standing members who post not one or two but thousands of comps, telling them to watch a video and put the links in dailies themselves, to save you time (even though nobody had asked you to add links or expected you to). Then there was the "where has the word win gone", and after being pulled up on it, claimed it was a wind up, but that it would save you typing as you have CFS and are worn out so a few letters would save your health,
I was diagnosed with M.E. in 1992, and couldn't complete my nurse training with the rest of my set as I was unable to work for 18 months, I fully understand how debilitating it is and how it varies from person to person, but can't say that not typing 3 letters would have improved my health, and you seem quite able to type long enough to upset some very good people.
Maybe you should take a step back, think before you speak, and consider how others are affected by your comments.

Blulu

If we can’t get along without feuding and fighting in a community based on something as trivial as comping, then no wonder the world ‘outside’ is plagued by conflict and war.

There is a saying that is attributed to the author G. K. Chesterton. He is reported to have responded to an article asking the question, “What’s wrong with the world?” His answer was, “I am.”

We generally only have ourselves within our control. The only thing I can do here, if I really want to make this forum run as best as possible, is for me to be the best forum member I can be.

It is not my responsibility to try to change others, or even to change things. That doesn’t mean not speaking out when we want things changed. But my responsibility is to speak in a way that is not damaging to the forum or to other members.

I often screw that up, because I sometimes suffer with foot in mouth disease. When that happens, my responsibility is then to recognise that, apologise for it and try to learn from it.

The people I need to be especially kind to are not my friends here. It takes no effort to be kind to those I get on with – even the worst dictators in history were probably kind to their friends. The ones to make an effort with are those who are perhaps not (yet) my friends.

So what is wrong with this forum? Is it that the magazine dailies are not run the best way? Is it that people don’t share all my comping ethics? Is it that people don’t act or behave the way I want them too?

No, what’s wrong with this forum?

I am.

Blu X

Luckyone

Sorry becky004

I have not read past your first two lines of your post. I don't want to spend another day in tears here.

It's O.K I get it, people don't like me & every time I express a opinion it will be taken apart & people will try & find something they can have a go at me about.

*shrugs Shoulders*

Nothing I can do about it. All I ask is that people do not use the 6th & 2nd letter of the alphabet swear words against me.

If you can all do me that curtesy then there should be no reason for me to interact with any one on this forum.

I am now going to find a BG from a different board (so I don't upset anyone else here) & ask if I can some how take the compers chat corner off my settings

LO xxx

rugmaker

Luckyone, nobody I have seen has said anything about not liking you. People may not like some of the things you do or say, and they are allowed to voice this opinion, ideally in a polite way as I believe that Becky has done.

If you are going to voice strong opinions and speak up about how you believe things should be done, you have to expect some push back and that your view may wind up others with a very different view who are coming from a very different place.

There is a big difference between passionate, constructive and respectful debate, which I am all for, and attacking personalities instead of points of view.

As has been said before, forum posts can easily be misinterpreted because there is no clue to tone etc - a lesson I have had to learn the hard way myself.

If you post as often as you do and try and promote a prticular way of doing things, some people will disagree. Unfortunately these disagreements sometimes get out of hand but they are not personal. I think that almost all of us would benefit from thinking a little longer before typing most of the time.

So while I disagree with you and what you have said and done on many points, I do not dislike you and I do not want to see you or anyone else leave the board. The very best and strongest communities are typified by their diversity, but the other side of that coin can be painful at times.

Finally, I would urge you to read ther rest of Becky's post. While you may find it uncomfortable, it is very polite and might help you to understand why some posters find your style difficult at times.

mjm3346

Simple thing is, however right or wrong it was to do it, what has been done has been done.
Everyone should just stop picking at old wounds and if they have nothing to say about how these competitions should be posted in the future then just say nothing.

Kirri

^ well said rug

To a relative outsider, all the claims of bullying/abuse (on both sides of the coin) read as a bit ridiculous tbh. Disagreements aren't bullying... Discussions seem to more come down to how people handle others and some people in general (on all types of forums!) don't seem very good at handling it and everything ends up so personal when it doesn't need to be.

If everyone could take a step back and just discuss the topic they might see that. Then maybe the thread might produce some useful results.. otherwise it will just get locked probably and we'll still be left with the issue..