Father marrying partner - help needed on inheritance.

meritaten

Adam79 wrote: »

Very true, and I will get my money back before they get married. But the whole reason that I loaned him that money in the first place was that he would live the rest of his life mortgage free - so if they divorce in the future and he has to re-mortgage to pay her 50% of his assets then this would not seem reasonable.

Good Grief Adam! you ARE a worrywart aren't you?:)
hun, it may NEVER happen! they could be as happy as Larry!

Awkward_Man

I was reading this post with interest. My Father is almost 80 and was widowed 18 months ago after my mother succumbed to cancer after a year's illness. He was very keen to meet someone else and since he is attractive did so quickly meeting Jane who is in her 70s and very nice. We were delighted for him.

They are now planning to marry next year.

Our Dad is rich. Our mother would have wanted that wealth to be passed onto her children when my Dad dies. This is his wish too. His Will is made out to this effect.

We (my wife and brother) want him to be happy.

Jane is well off in her own right, and has her own house, and plans to rent it out. We understand that if Dad died, the idea is that she would move back into it (we would need to sell the house to pay IHT).

We ARE concerned about inheritance. We want to make sure that our parent's wealth is kept (as far as possible) in the family. We also want Dad to be happy for as long as he lives. Jane is lovely and is welcome in our family. We do not really want to discuss this directly with him as it would seem as though we covet his wealth - this is not the case, but we do want it to stay in the family!

I know he is considering not getting married (some of his friends have questioned the wisdom of doing so) - suggesting that it will make things too complicated. They have suggested the same to us. We do not understand what difference it will make if his Will remains the same. Does it actually make any real difference if they are married or not?

He would consider just having a blessing (instead of a marriage) if that solves the problem.

I think we are concluding the best thing and only option is to wish them well and keep our fingers crossed that it all works out. At the same time we worry that we might be being naive.

Any advice?

meritaten

Awkward_Man wrote: »

I was reading this post with interest. My Father is almost 80 and was widowed 18 months ago after my mother succumbed to cancer after a year's illness. He was very keen to meet someone else and since he is attractive did so quickly meeting Jane who is in her 70s and very nice. We were delighted for him.

They are now planning to marry next year.

Our Dad is rich. Our mother would have wanted that wealth to be passed onto her children when my Dad dies. This is his wish too. His Will is made out to this effect.

We (my wife and brother) want him to be happy.

Jane is well off in her own right, and has her own house, and plans to rent it out. We understand that if Dad died, the idea is that she would move back into it (we would need to sell the house to pay IHT).

We ARE concerned about inheritance. We want to make sure that our parent's wealth is kept (as far as possible) in the family. We also want Dad to be happy for as long as he lives. Jane is lovely and is welcome in our family. We do not really want to discuss this directly with him as it would seem as though we covet his wealth - this is not the case, but we do want it to stay in the family!

I know he is considering not getting married (some of his friends have questioned the wisdom of doing so) - suggesting that it will make things too complicated. They have suggested the same to us. We do not understand what difference it will make if his Will remains the same. Does it actually make any real difference if they are married or not?

He would consider just having a blessing (instead of a marriage) if that solves the problem.

I think we are concluding the best thing and only option is to wish them well and keep our fingers crossed that it all works out. At the same time we worry that we might be being naive.

Any advice?

um - wouldn't Jane marrying your father mean she becomes 'family'? she also has her own property - perhaps she plans to keep it within HER 'family' too.
whatever happened to those lovely marriage vows 'With all my worldly goods I thee endow'? exchanged by BOTH parties! or perhaps it should be changed to 'Whats mine is mine and left to MY KIDS'!

barbarawright

Awkward_Man wrote: »

I was reading this post with interest. My Father is almost 80 and was widowed 18 months ago after my mother succumbed to cancer after a year's illness. He was very keen to meet someone else and since he is attractive did so quickly meeting Jane who is in her 70s and very nice. We were delighted for him.

They are now planning to marry next year.

Our Dad is rich. Our mother would have wanted that wealth to be passed onto her children when my Dad dies. This is his wish too. His Will is made out to this effect.

We (my wife and brother) want him to be happy.

Jane is well off in her own right, and has her own house, and plans to rent it out. We understand that if Dad died, the idea is that she would move back into it (we would need to sell the house to pay IHT).

We ARE concerned about inheritance. We want to make sure that our parent's wealth is kept (as far as possible) in the family. We also want Dad to be happy for as long as he lives. Jane is lovely and is welcome in our family. We do not really want to discuss this directly with him as it would seem as though we covet his wealth - this is not the case, but we do want it to stay in the family!

I know he is considering not getting married (some of his friends have questioned the wisdom of doing so) - suggesting that it will make things too complicated. They have suggested the same to us. We do not understand what difference it will make if his Will remains the same. Does it actually make any real difference if they are married or not?

He would consider just having a blessing (instead of a marriage) if that solves the problem.

I think we are concluding the best thing and only option is to wish them well and keep our fingers crossed that it all works out. At the same time we worry that we might be being naive.

Any advice?

So do you covet his money or not? It's his money, not yours. Jane sounds nice - why don't you feel she's part of the family?

Awkward_Man

As I said, we ARE concerned about inheritance. We are not trying to hide this fact. He is 80 next month. He has had health issues. He feels the same. Jane and Dad want their assets to be divided between their own children. Our mother would also have wanted this.

Did you read the post at all? You seem to miss the point. The question is whether, based on what I stated, marriage makes any difference or not to our collective wishes.

Thanks anyway for being so judgemental.

Person_one

Money grabbing tends to bring out the judgemental in a lot of us.

It ain't your money kiddo, that's all there is to it!

Mojisola

Awkward_Man wrote: »

Jane is well off in her own right, and has her own house, and plans to rent it out. We understand that if Dad died, the idea is that she would move back into it (we would need to sell the house to pay IHT).

I know he is considering not getting married (some of his friends have questioned the wisdom of doing so) - suggesting that it will make things too complicated. They have suggested the same to us. We do not understand what difference it will make if his Will remains the same. Does it actually make any real difference if they are married or not?

A will made before marriage is revoked by the marriage (unless it is made "in anticipation of the marriage") and so your Dad would be intestate if he died after the marriage. Jane would then have an automatic entitlement to some of his estate and so would he if she died.

If Jane and your Dad both want to keep their estates to hand on to their respective children and want to get married, they need new, well-written wills.

meritaten

I feel so sad reading this and other recent posts. a second marriage seems to be a minefield!
and people posting about 'protecting our inheritance' annoys me. You don't HAVE an inheritance until someone dies and the will is proved! and people posting carping on about 'protecting the inheritance' just makes me hope the parent is planning on leaving it all to the 'cats charity'!
My mums property is worth at least three times the amount of mine - and she has money in the bank. I don't give a hoot if she wants to leave it elsewhere or realise the equity and live it up and spend it all! Its HER money! its not my inheritance! I will inherit whatever she chooses to leave to me. if that's a pound coin then so be it. its her wish.

notechno

I think most people would feel the same as Awkward_Man, if they're being honest. Who could honestly say that if a parent died and the surviving parent re-married they wouldn't have the same worries? That the family home (yes, ok it's not the 'family' home, but that's how most of us see it) could possibly be sold and divided equally between you, your siblings and maybe 4 relatively unknown step-siblings? I wouldn't be, that's for sure

troubleinparadise

As has been said in this thread already, none of your parents' money or assets are yours until after their deaths, should they have made a will which leaves it to you.

Until that time it is theirs to do with as they wish.