Father marrying partner - help needed on inheritance.

Adam79

meritaten wrote: »

so ask for the financial help back - would that satisfy you?
I think this is the heart of this matter - hasn't he repaid you? have you asked for your financial 'help' back?
it isn't about his ladylove is it?

Very true, and I will get my money back before they get married. But the whole reason that I loaned him that money in the first place was that he would live the rest of his life mortgage free - so if they divorce in the future and he has to re-mortgage to pay her 50% of his assets then this would not seem reasonable.

fluffnutter

Rev wrote: »

Maybe in in the wrong but I always cringe when I see threads like this. I lost my mother last year. In all my life I never once thought about inheritance. I couldn't care less who she left her cash/house too. And I honestly find it hard to believe people wonder about this stuff and want to 'protect' their inheritance. He's of sound mind so it's entirely up to him who he leaves his cash too. I'm sure he's also well aware that if they marry she will take everything when he goes. Again. 100% up to him.

I don't get that feeling at all from the OP. I think that's a little unfair. He's asking a question on behalf of his father. It's him (the father) who's wondering how best to make sure his loved ones inherit fairly, not the OP.

Although I do get the feeling the OP's a little sceptical...

dandy-candy

I don't know how large your inheritance from your mum was, but if it was substantial I'd like to think after 10 years your dad would pay it back with interest.
As for inheritance, when a parent remarries you can't really count on there being anything left to you.

duchy

fluffnutter wrote: »

I don't get that feeling at all from the OP. I think that's a little unfair. He's asking a question on behalf of his father. It's him (the father) who's wondering how best to make sure his loved ones inherit fairly, not the OP.

Although I do get the feeling the OP's a little sceptical...

Well no at 1.05am Adam says his Dad hasn't asked for any advice-that this is all Adam's idea and HIM wondering what would happen if they split up. I do wonder if Adam got engaged tomorrow if he'd feel it would be equally appropriate for his Dad to be posting with similar concerns.

Kayalana99

As someone in the a similar position (although their already married) I am actively encouraging my father to spend his assets for the only reason that he's spent all his life working for it...I know I am going to be getting a substantial amount (if he doesnt spend it ) in his death but TBH I would rather him enjoy it now!!!

Adam79

duchy wrote: »

Well no at 1.05am Adam says his Dad hasn't asked for any advice-that this is all Adam's idea and HIM wondering what would happen if they split up. I do wonder if Adam got engaged tomorrow if he'd feel it would be equally appropriate for his Dad to be posting with similar concerns.

You assume that my Dad wouldn't want my advice? He told me last Thursday and is now in Dublin for a week so I haven't had a chance to speak to him properly about it. Also, if you read the thread I have already said that these are HIS questions and concerns. Yes, I also have concerns, and although my Dad hasn't asked for my advice he will listen to anyone who has sound, well-informed advice.

It's a shame that some people assume that this is a case of a son throwing his toy's out because his Dad is getting re-married. The reason that I asked the question in the first place was so that i can offer him some advice so he can make an informed decision based on HIS wishes. And like I have said previously, he will get legal advice, but this thread was supposed to be a way for me to pass on any useful information or experiences that people have on this subject.

Duchy - If you want to sit on your computer and pass-judgement on someone based on assumptions and pre-conceived ideas then fine. But it would be nice for those who actually want to help to post any information or advice they can about the subject.

Kayalana99

Adam79 wrote: »

You assume that my Dad wouldn't want my advice? He told me last Thursday and is now in Dublin for a week so I haven't had a chance to speak to him properly about it. Also, if you read the thread I have already said that these are HIS questions and concerns. Yes, I also have concerns, and although my Dad hasn't asked for my advice he will listen to anyone who has sound, well-informed advice.

It's a shame that some people assume that this is a case of a son throwing his toy's out because his Dad is getting re-married. The reason that I asked the question in the first place was so that i can offer him some advice so he can make an informed decision based on HIS wishes. And like I have said previously, he will get legal advice, but this thread was supposed to be a way for me to pass on any useful information or experiences that people have on this subject.

Duchy - If you want to sit on your computer and pass-judgement on someone based on assumptions and pre-conceived ideas then fine. But it would be nice for those who actually want to help to post any information or advice they can about the subject.

I always find that not replying to the people who are just out to get your back up and concentrating on the people that are actually trying to help is key, the more you fight back the more people fight back to ..its just how these online fourms go I'm afraid but their are some people on here to help.

sunshinetours

Adam79 wrote: »

Very true, and I will get my money back before they get married. But the whole reason that I loaned him that money in the first place was that he would live the rest of his life mortgage free - so if they divorce in the future and he has to re-mortgage to pay her 50% of his assets then this would not seem reasonable.

As said earlier - then as a man of sound mind and independent to make his own decisions, he should not get married if HE is worried about how this could work out. Going into a marriage not trusting that other person at the start is not a good start to married life

If he wishes to provide some protection then looking at how the marital home is held, joint tenants or tenants in common could be looked at but in reality there is very little that can be done

I do suggest your dad takes independent legal advice before he remarries

swingaloo

One other thing occurs to me- what happens if they have been happily married for the next 20 years and then your dad passes away.?

Will your step mum be allowed to stay in the house till she passes on?

I ask because I have lived with my partner for 13 years. We both have children from previous marriages. I am older than my partner so my child is a lot older than his. We have made wills which state that the house passes to either one of us upon the others death but then is split between the 2 children when the remaining one of us dies.

Now we don't have a 30 year age gap but I was wondering what would happen in the circumstances, assuming they have a long and happy marriage should your fathers wife outlive him by 30+ years. It hardly seems fair that she would have to lose her husband then also lose her home.

fabforty

Adam79 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies!

Just to clarify - he obviously wouldn't want to leave anything to her if they divorce, but he was thinking more that if worst came to worst he wouldn't wan't her to get more than she would get in the event of his death. Particularly as she hasn't contributed to the mortgage payments etc.

Obviously I wish them well but as you can probably tell I'm not overly optimistic that this is going to end well...particularly as they have just got back together after splitting up for two months! ;-)

Unless she has been a lady of leisure for the past 5 years, she has probably made a financial contribution to the household - even if it wasn't with a cheque marked 'mortgage contribution'.