Finding A Relationship

CC-Warrior

The_Hurricane wrote: »

Hi All,

Does anyone else struggle with this? I just don't seem to be able to find anyone that interests me and I wonder if it's meant to happen or not?

I've done the whole single life thing and maybe for too long but I want to move on from this and I feel I'm unable.

It's a nightmare isn't it.

I think a good approach is to go out and enjoy life as much as
possible without putting pressure on yourself to meet someone.
Keep busy, try and have lots of projects, interests, and an active social life. I think someone who goes out and does lots of things is more attractive than someone who just sits in watching TV and not a lot else.

I am going to try online dating next year but I'm trying not to put too much emotional investment in to it. I think what happens, happens and what doesn't, doesn't. Quidco are currently offering £54 cashback on a 6-month subscription, so it need not cost too much.

Good luck and don't let it get you down. Lots of people are in the same position.

DigForVictory

And, from another perspective, have you considered a chat with Relate? They don't just work with unhappy couples, they do also talk to unhappy about it singles.
There Goes Trouble is a unique & wonderful person, just as I'll lay odds you are, but that doesn't mean you will come to the same harbour by the same route.
Don't let the human condition get you down!

sweetme

You have to be happy with who you are, and enjoy being who you are before you can be happy with somebody else.

Or so they say, but I do think there's an element of truth to that saying.

marisco_2

Has something happened to you in the past to make you 'afraid' of finding a relationship? You say in your post that you don't seem able to find someone that interests you. Could it be that you are choosing not to be vulnerable by partnering up with someone? I can empathise with those feelings.

Fact is if you want to get involved with another and fall in love over time, it is out there for the taking. If you let your fears make all your decisions, then you will never let other people in and discover how lovely it is to share your life with someone.

dawyldthing

try plenty of fish too as its free and theres literally thousands of people looking for someone. I think its difficult though as like my mum has said before years ago people would meet at the pub and the like but not that many go to the pub nowadays and even then men seem to wait until 35 before growing up (and i'm not joking looking at some of my friends)

meritaten

well, don't give up hope - a lady I know didn't meet her husband until she was in her sixties! my brother didn't meet his wife until he was mid thirties. bro actually met his wife when they volunteered with the Samaritans at the same time. the other lady met her husband on a weekend trip to the seaside and they stayed at the same hotel. in both cases they got talking and liked each other and over time love grew. it can happen when you least expect it!

CC-Warrior

I identify with the op as it can be disheartening. You just have to keep on going.

aileth

People always seem to meet partners when they've stopped actively seeking them, or resigned themselves to being single. It always happens when you expect it the least!

There_Goes_Trouble

aileth wrote: »

People always seem to meet partners when they've stopped actively seeking them, or resigned themselves to being single. It always happens when you expect it the least!

But sometimes it doesn't happen at all.

Thank you for the kind comments. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard work emotionally to get to this point but I am finally happy with both myself and my life. A relationship would be the icing on the cake, but I have learnt its possible to love cake without icing too!

System

aileth wrote: »

People always seem to meet partners when they've stopped actively seeking them, or resigned themselves to being single. It always happens when you expect it the least!

I can understand this pov as it gets mentioned a lot

But personally I was single 8 months after splitting with my ex, thought I'd leave it to fate etc. but I never met anyone, I went out and was social but it never happened. So I started to be a bit more active in looking and joined a few free dating websites. Had a few dates then after about a month met my now bf. if I'd sat at home and left it to chance I would never have met him and would never be as happy as I am now, so sometimes I think it's ok to go looking