So,what happens when you can no longer provide for your family?

duchy

So you lost your job a month ago?
Have you signed on yet to make sure your national insurance is covered ?
Some of the best jobs are never advertised so make sure you network as well as look for jobs through traditional channels.
A financial overhaul never hurts to see what savings can be made as well as checking to see if you are entitled to any benefits like working tax credits as your wife is currently the sole earner for now.

Don't go into debt over Christmas .....indulge the kids but you don't need to go crazy.....plenty of people in work are opting for simpler Christmases as they are fed up with the hype and waste and want .

A month isn't long and I'm not sure why you think voluntary work is so out there....in fact even fully employed people do it ! Keeping busy and focused is helpful .

ferry

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Sorry to hear that....Its hard feeling like you just can't find a job.

Been there and know how hard it is.

Polish up you CV, add some BUZZ words in there, be creative with what you put in there...Not saying lie, but there are so many ways to 'Word' things.

Turns the negatives to positives and you WILL find something.

If you don’t mind me asking – What was your last job and how many years exp. Do you have in the area?

I'm (was) working withing both clerical and warehousing environments and have many years experience behind me in many sectors as luckily these areas of skill dont seem to be restricted to a particular sector I guess

DigForVictory

Blimey, it's rough but you are on the right site. We can't help sourcing work but when it comes to making every penny pull its weight, and figuring out what you can do at home to help Herself, we're your other family.

First of all, don't apologise for not being in work - these things happen.

You can now see your children in daylight! Talk to them about school, be there to help with homework, do things with them, from bike rides to tickles. You get to be a Dad in the other sense of the word, the father who is there to talk to, not a whiskered patriarch into whose presence the children are ushered (scrubbed) for a few minutes each evening and before Church.

Help make & keep the family home a place the wife & children want to come back to - and if your signature dish was previously Roasted Hog with All Trimmings, reach back to childhood simpler treats like fish finger butties. When I come in from work & smell something cooking my first thoughts are entirely positive. Even if I have to wash up, being fed first is a blessing.

As for any other monies required, I'm guessing your mortgage is your first priority? As no christmas present is worth the risk of reposession. (Over on the debt free wannabe board you'll see reference to an SoA "Statement of Affairs" I think - where you list incomings & outgoings & get advice on what you can reduce (& how) and what you may be able to live without. The 'other family' can get a bit rowdy, but their hearts are in the right place, so don't take it too personally.)

Get the children informed & involved - you'll be amazed how, if presented as a challenge or problem to be solved, they'll think of things & offer things that will astound you. (Just don't burst into tears when one empties the piggybank and promises you it'll all be fine now - Accept The Loan & explain you will pay it back with interest. Then keep your promise.)

The best present you can give them is your time. Other Dads may well not be able to offer watching child's choice of movie with home made popcorn. Bragging rights take many different forms.

All the very best!

New_and_Improved_Me

ferry wrote: »

I'm (was) working withing both clerical and warehousing environments and have many years experience behind me in many sectors as luckily these areas of skill dont seem to be restricted to a particular sector I guess

That’s good, I’m sure you will find something soon with a good skill set.

As I said...polish up the old CV.

Chances are, if you've been employed for a long while it's probably in need of a little TLC…and choose your words wisely….they make all the difference.

One line always remember from the 007 movie ‘Casino Royal’ is…’There are tuxedo’s and there are TUXEDO’s….that’s the latter’… J….this is also SO true to CV’s

So make sure yours is the LATTER...

FBaby

You need to focus on three areas, keeping your spirit up, getting your family on board and working on presentation, CV cover letter, interview skills etc... Most important you need to keep busy with clear plans on how toy will spend your days to be active. Try not to waste too much energy focusing on what you're not achieving but instead use your time to structure your weeks proactively. It is extremely easy to fall into the trap of feeling that you have lost all control and getting depressed and anxious q which as a result drains you of the energy to do the above.

flutterby_lil

Are you posting under two separate names, ferry and alarmed?

sulkisu

Have you checked that you are getting all of the benefits that you might be entitlted to?

Mojisola

LannieDuck wrote: »

Are you managing to balance your incomings and outgoings, or are you slowly slipping into debt? If the latter, head over to the 'debt free wannabe' board and post a Statement of Affairs.

Best to get that sorted and nipped in the bud before it becomes a problem. Once you get debts, you have to find extra money for interest payments - if you're not at that stage yet, it would be worth a bit of effort to avoid it. As others have said, it may also make your situation seem less depressing and time-urgent.

This is very important. Get the best deals for everything and keep a record of how much you're saving each month. When you get back to work, that amount can go into savings immediately without you even noticing. What you were giving utility or phone or insurance companies will now be going into your emergency fund.

Now that you're not working, you are time-rich. See the positives in that. As others have said - make life easier for your wife, enjoy time with the children, do some of the things you've put off in the past because you "didn't have the time" and volunteer for something - it will give you a reason for getting out of the house, help your self-esteem and show potential employers that you're not one to sit around doing nothing.

Mojisola

jackyann wrote: »

Do share the situation with your kids: my parents were very honest with us, and we all talked about what we would have to give up - looking back, it wasn't our childish suggestions that helped - but the feeling that we were all in this together. So when our presents were small or there were no "paying" outings we felt we were contributing & helping rather than being hard done by. This isn't just about getting through the next little while, this is a valuable life lesson for your kids.

Depending on the ages of your children, I'd also go along with this.

Get the kids involved with having an "old-fashioned" Christmas - only a few presents, lots of home-made stuff - presents and decorations, and so on.

If your family normally give lots of presents to other relatives and friends, tell them now that it won't be happening this year. If they still want to send you gifts, accept them happily rather than feeling guilty - you soon learn who the good people are in your life when you hit bad times.

hazyjo

What are you doing indoors? Chores? Cooking? Ironing? Washing? Cleaning? Hoovering? Fixing stuff (house/clothes)?

My BF isn't working. But he is doing everything indoors. Life is so much easier for me, and we're both not coming in knackered from both working full time and then having to do everything indoors. We're wondering whether actually, that might be what works for us long-term (although sometimes I would love to switch places and not work full time!).

Hopefully yours will be a very short term thing - January will probably be a better month for job-hunting. Fingers crossed.

Maybe consider things you'd not before such as shop work. Friend of mine brought as much in working in Tescos as she did in an office, and the hours were more flexible.

Jx