So,what happens when you can no longer provide for your family?

Amanda65

Depending on your income short term financial assistance may be available from an occupational benevolent fund. What industry / line of business were you in OP?

FatVonD

Have you tried looking for seasonal work? I am in the same position as you (I am being made redundant next week) and went last week to a seasonal recruitment night at a big supermarket. I was offered work (I've had to turn it down as I have managed to get enough freelance bookings to take me into the New Year) but, even at the interview the bloke told me there was a good chance of being kept on afterwards.

I was the oldest person there (the rest were students!) so I let them know I would be happy to do the night shifts/early mornings that maybe the younger ones couldn't do if they didn't have transport etc.

Spendless

Have you registered with some agencies for any casual work? I am an office temp and just go to one client for hol cover. They are within the warehouse/distribution industry and use loads of agency staff. I am employed by the agency they use to get lorry drivers so contact them all even if you think they don't usually cover your role. That worked out an advantage for me as the agency doesn't have many admin workers on their books.

Have you told tax credits of your change in finances? That might make a difference. Spoken to your mortgage provider to see if they can offer reduced payments for so long?

If the kids are little then they won't be aware of cost you don't have to get them expensive stuff as presents. If older, then they should understand the situation.

I do know how fed-up you can get being at home, without the structure of work you don't get the ups and down times and it is soul destroying to get knocked back from jobs.

Takeaway_Addict

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Are you posting under two separate names, ferry and alarmed?

I spotted this as well...

Spirit_2

ferry wrote: »

Firstly thanks you all for reading and your quick responses.
Having had an opinion from you all I agree- i guess I have an old fashioned mentality when it comes to thinking the man should be the provider maybe thats something I inherited from my dad.

One of my biggest barriers I forgot to mention is me.My pride has taken a blow and I need to get over it!

I had thought about going self employed/starting a business but that takes time to set up and I relly need to be earning now.

Husbands cannot carry the responsibility for the principal family income at all times. Job security is lower and opportunities for women increased since your dad's day.


In 2002 my OH was made redundant . He had always earned much more than me. I worked just below full time, but increased my hours to full time and actively sought a promotion to significantly increase my earnings and career prospects. For 18 months I was the sole earner, thereafter when he became employed I was the higher earner and still am. In January i will drop to part time working for health reasons and he will be the higher earner again.

The balance of earning power does not matter, staying well, not getting depressed and being 'in it' together are the most important.

Fwiw we had some savings, but could not/did not reduce our spending quickly enough nor did we expect him to be out of work so long. We did get into debt at that time, we did get out of it again thanks to findng this site.

Good luck

Goldiegirl

Some fantastic advice has been given.


I think you need to cut yourself some slack - it's not your sole responsibility to be the 'breadwinner'.


You and your wife are a team and it is your joint responsibility to earn money and care for the house.


At various times, the roles may shift and change, but the responsibility is still joint.


As everyone has said, at the current time it's an opportunity for you to look after the home and keep things running smoothly on that front.


You may wish to look on the 'old style' area of the board - there's lots of tips for thrifty home making and cookery, which might help to stretch the pennies.


God luck with your job search.

Morglin

alarmed wrote: »

Ok,I'd like to apologise for my longish thread and it may seem a bit random but I just wanted to share some thoughts with you.
42 yr old husband to a magical wife and father to two incredible kids.
In Oct I lost my job and have been seeking a new one since.Time of year I guess but theres not a great deal out there at the best of times let alone this near Xmas.Agencies trying hard and have tried the family and friends route.So another month is passing and I'm really struggling to find the cash to do what fathers and husbands are expected of them-to provide a roof over their heads and 'reasonable' standard of living.Finally realised and will drum it into anyone how important it is to have something to fall back on financially when the household income drops.
It seems I'm approaching the time when I'll be able to do neither unless something happens positively on the work front pretty soon.
Luckily enough OH is working P/T and has just taken on extra hours and is doing all she can to make ends meet but its not enough to service everything .We've cut back on a lot but with Xmas approaching its really tough psychologically.The Ebay selling option is limited has we have nothing of quantity that we can sell!
Nothing hurts more than watching neighbours pulling out of their drives in the mornings going to work and me thinking that should be me.
How do I deal with this?How am I supposed to remain positive when it feels like my world is collapsing around me? It really does seem sometimes that that our family has a constant run of bad luck and just when we think we're getting ahead we hit a brick wall again...
Is there anything I should be doing apart from the constant jobsearch that would help even in the short term?Its incredible how low and worthless being out of work can make you feel .I have even expressed an interest in volunteering even just to make myself feel I'm doing something positive and worthwhile.
I dont think I'm becoming depressed at this stage but certainly heading in that direction and I cant let that happen as that would just be yet another step backwards

Apologies again and thanks for listening.
Al x

Go onto the 'Turn2us' site, put in all your figures, and check that you are getting all you are entitled to. Check any tax credits are at the right amount.

As far as a job goes, all you can do is keep plugging away, as whatever 'Duncan Disorderly' Smith says about plenty of jobs for all, life isn't like that for most.

Good luck.

Lin