BIL moved in - not coping

Orange_Candle

troubleinparadise wrote: »

Glad to hear a solution has been found, and good luck that it works out.

Purely out of interest, because I have known of two similar situations where a previously suicidal person has been put in the care of relatives after discharge from hospital/secure unit, apart from the number of a SS person/care co-ordinator, were you offered any teaching or counselling yourselves on how to deal best with such a situation?

In the two cases I know of, no support other than a contact number was given; I find it quite shocking that untrained people are supposed to step in and "get it right" somehow with no guidance.

The strain on relationships and homelife in both situations has been very difficult - and doesn't really provide the calm home that was presumably intended whilst the unwell person recuperated.

No we were given nothing to help us out other than a phone number, which was for the crisis team. Useful to have, but hopeless for when we weren't coping but weren't actually at 'crisis'. All carers are entitled to a carer's assessment when they become a carer, but my BIL's care co-ordinator told us that they didn't exist, and it was only after 5 months that we found out that this was a lie! All it does though is see if you are eligible for some money to support you as a carer, but it wasn't money that we needed it was, like you say, some teaching or counselling to help us support him.

troubleinparadise

I find that so sad and stupid - how are people with no mental healthcare training, or even a course or counselling sessions with a trained professional, supposed to cope?

I feel that living with or caring for a person with mental healthcare problems is more challenging and demanding than a person with physical problems. I realise that sounds a sweeping generalisation - but at least with a physical problem you tend to know where you are, what the parameters are, and there are often practical solutions to problems.

With mental health it is a very different matter, and especially in the case of a potentially suicidal person knowing how to handle things in the best way challenges even the professionals.

I am sorry that you weren't given better support - as always, it seems it is down to the individual to reach crisis point before help is forthcoming, which lets down all concerned.

Wishing you all the best in gathering your strength again, and I hope the new place works out well for you all.