different attitudes to money

tayforth

Thanks for the update (always appreciated).

What about Christmas? Did you give handmade gifts to any of his family?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

ostrichnomore wrote: »

I left it for a bit then talked to him about it just after New Year.

I told him that one thing that was giving me cause for doubts was his attitude to money. That I'd had a nightmare financially in past due to ex-husband.

Anyway, he admitted he'd probably not been making a good impression and that he feels sometimes he's poncing off me, and doesn't want that. We talked about how much we each contribute to household expenses, and we are both happy with that. I suppose I'm unhappy that he doesn't seem to plan very sensibly with what is left of his money.

He was quite taken aback that I thought he was generally 'bad with money' but could see why I'd think that. He told me about how he used to organise his finances. Separate account for bills and expenses, money transferred in every month to more than cover what was needed, then savings account, then spending money was what was left. He used to take care of all finances in his marriage and they never got into trouble. Which of course, sounds fine.

He also admitted that he tends to just spend now without thinking too much about it - he really doesn't have much money left so what there is he'll blow on treating himself as it doesn't seem enough to be worth saving up, it would be such slow progress.

So...not as much of an idiot as I thought. As least he knows what to do. Just hasn't needed/been able to do it for a while.

We've agreed to put the household expenses on a more formal basis (well, a pot we put into weekly) and he is going to start small regular savings again.

Hope he didn't make you feel like you were kicking a puppy when you brought it up.

So now he's said all the right things, the ones you wanted to hear (and maybe you had to reassure him that he's not being a ponce, because that would make him feel terrible about himself :cool:), he now needs to walk the walk.




(If I sound cynical, there's a damn good reason why, btw)

meritaten

its good that you have talked - now you have to 'walk the walk'. he sounds lovely btw, and if he HAS seen sense then I think you have no worries. I can understand though how past experiences make you a bit 'jittery'. just don't let them colour how you view this guy too much.
and thanks for the update!

ostrichnomore_2

Thanks.

No, kept the home made prezzies for my lot. (you've got a good memory :-))

And I'm a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words.

I feel a bit sorry for him at the mo - he's been applying for loads of new jobs (I help with the applications so know he really is) and not had a single interview. I applied for one the end of last week and had an interview for it today - first time lucky! Must be quite gutting for him in a way - but he's not said anything. He even polished my shoes for me this morning as I was getting ready for it.

meritaten

What is his area of expertise hun? jobs are often found by 'networking' and someone on here might know of something suitable?