Uncomfortable with mum talking about money

whitewing

I read it that removal costs went on the credit card as they still needed money for xmas.

If xmas money was set aside earlier in the year then life events don't have the potential to ruin xmas quite so much. But as I said, it's a lot easier said than done.

Callie22

whitewing wrote: »

Why did they sell yours if they had others? Was it so they could be spontaneous with their cruise? Or was it simply that someone knew they owned and it wanted to buy it (which may account for the short notice if the other people wanted to be in in plenty of time).

My somewhat cynical feeling is that they fancied a cruise, needed to release some equity and went with the easy option of chucking family out knowing that they wouldn't be held to a proper notice period. Moving house is hideously expensive, and I can't even being to think how stressful it must be to have to do it in three weeks. The OP's parents are perfectly entitled to sell their houses and go on cruises, but they are being incredibly crass to talk about their cruise/new car/whatever when they've just acted in a way that's left their kids without a home and short of money.

BitterAndTwisted

"Look Mum, your snap-decision to sell the house has caused us no end of grief and rather a lot of unexpected additional expense at the very worst time of year possible, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't gloat about your damned luxury cruise in front of me, OK?"

BitterAndTwisted

whitewing wrote: »

I read it that removal costs went on the credit card as they still needed money for xmas.

If xmas money was set aside earlier in the year then life events don't have the potential to ruin xmas quite so much. But as I said, it's a lot easier said than done.

A month's rent in advance. A month's rent (often six week's worth) as a deposit. Letting-agent referencing fees amounting to a couple of hundred pounds. Packing and removing. Not everyone has that kind of cash lying around not already earmarked for Christmas.

And that's not even attaching a cost to the time spent in actually finding somewhere suitable at the drop of a hat. That could have entailed unpaid time off from work.

I think the mother has been selfish, unreasonable and heinously unkind and deserves to be made aware of it.

whitewing

Friends of mine choose to wait until after Christmas before they told everyone that the wife had cancer and was going in for an operation in early January.

This is just an example of something that may prompt people to act strangely. Hope your mum is just being thoughtless, OP, there's usually a reason behind an action so it may be best to try and find out what drove your mum to do it without proper notice.

decca2013

Thanks for all the replies. It's good to get other opinions!

Like the replies I'm in 2 minds. I've bitten my tongue cos don't wanna be seen to be moaning about the move as we're in the new place now and it's sorted. When we found out I felt sorry for her as assumed they had money problems. She is a very keeping up with the joneses type person so I don't know what to think about whether they have money issues now she keeps banging on about splashing the cash!

I think I will subtley turn conversation away from her holiday, car etc as it does annoy me. I've tried to talk about things like our new place, eg showing her pictures of how we've got the living room but she shows no interest. She shrugged off an invite to visit us so we could show her the new flat. Yet she's quiet talkative about her interests and what she's been up to! My brother is unemployed at the mo so I might use that as an excuse to say keep the spending chat (gloating) quiet for his sake.

building_with_lego

No, say, "for both our sakes."

Mum will/may/should then ask what you mean. You say that bruv is unemployed and you've recently had to move house at short notice (see BitterandTwisted's post for a wonderful way with words) and hopefully she'll keep quiet. I think if you get her to shut up for fear of upsetting your brother your resentment at her lack of recognition of your plight will fester- it would for me!

decca2013

Very good point. I suppose in a way I do want her to recognise the knock on effects her decisions have had on my partner and I.

BitterAndTwisted

"Sorry Mum, we can't afford any Christmas presents for anyone this year. Not with having to find all that money for a move at such short notice just recently".

whitewing

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

"Sorry Mum, we can't afford any Christmas presents for anyone this year. Not with having to find all that money for a move at such short notice just recently".

apart from brother, as he is having such a rough time jobhunting...