Uncomfortable with mum talking about money

decca2013

My mum and step-dad have a number of properties they rent out, which they are slowly selling off as they approach retirement.

My partner and I were living in one of their properties until recently, but moved with short notice after they put it on the market. To be honest I was a bit miffed with the short notice given to vacate (3 weeks) given that the landlords are my parents and they hadn't mentioned selling it before. But I assumed they needed the money quickly and that's why they were in a rush, so we're now living somewhere new. The move has left us a bit short in the run up to Christmas, as we usually budget every penny so we've had to put money on the credit card for a removal van and buying furniture (previous place was furnished so we bought some of the furniture off them but we had to buy things like a smaller sofa for the new place).

The problem is every time I see my mum all she can talk about is the sale of the flat, and how she can't wait for the money to come through so they can book their next cruise and get a new car.

It just feels a little bit insensitive when she must know that us being in a stressful situation (having to get out quickly and the cost of moving) has led to her having a good situation (money for her holiday). I know it was their flat and they were entitled to ask us to move whenever they wanted though.

I want to ask her to not talk about these kinda things when I'm about, but how can I say that without it becoming a big issue?

19lottie82

Legally..... Your mother is your land lord and you are a tenant. She cannot just give you three weeks notice, she has to issue with the proper notification of intent of possession, which is effectively two months notice and even after that, you don't need to move, a court order and bailiffs are required for you to legally be evicted.

But morally.......You're being selfish. You are a grown up and should be able to sort out your own housing situation. I'm guessing your mother didn't take a deposit and possibly she let it to you at a very reasonable rate? Now you need to stand on your own two feet.

Morglin

To be honest, if it compare with how I would treat my own daughter, I just wouldn't have done what your mum did.

To give you such short notice ( 3 weeks??!) and then witter on about their cruise shows amazing insensativity.:eek::eek:

I would let her know that, quite frankly, her actions have meant you are now struggling a bit, and that you don't want to hear about her bleeding cruise....:whistle:

Lin

seven-day-weekend

Just be glad for your mum that she is able to release those funds and wish her a lovely retirement.

I personally would have given a bit more notice, but we don't know the circumstances, do we?

jacques_chirac

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Just be glad for your mum that she is able to release those funds and wish her a lovely retirement.

I personally would have given a bit more notice, but we don't know the circumstances, do we?

This ^^

My dad will think nothing of spending the equivalent of six months of my mortgage on something frivolous - a new tv or camera lens. Yes, sometimes I wish he'd post the money in my direction but I don't begrudge him his treats at all, he has worked damn hard for them.

Morglin

I must be the original soft touch with my kids.....;)

Lin

Kynthia

I don't think the OP begrudges their parents having money in any way. It's just the very short notice to move out with no advance warning that the property was being sold left them more short than they would have been with advance notice. I can see there point with regard to this as they would have refused a normal landlord. However think it's best to bite their tongue, as it could lead to a fall out and perhaps some of the money was needed urgently but they just haven't said.

pollypenny

Agree with OP. Her mum was extremely thoughtless and even uncaring to not realise that such short notice would cause her daughter difficulties.

whitewing

Why did they sell yours if they had others? Was it so they could be spontaneous with their cruise? Or was it simply that someone knew they owned and it wanted to buy it (which may account for the short notice if the other people wanted to be in in plenty of time).

Christmas happens every year so maybe you could think of budgeting better for it, but I can't say that I do!

Yes, your mum is insensitive.

krlyr

Could the talk of a cruise etc. be a bit of saving face? We don't know the ins and outs - maybe they got into a bit of a financial pickle but don't want anyone to know. The constant mentioning on it could be out of overcompensating..wanting to make it seem like they chose to sell, not that they had to.

May be off the mark, but it's another perspective to consider.

unholyangel

whitewing wrote: »

Why did they sell yours if they had others? Was it so they could be spontaneous with their cruise? Or was it simply that someone knew they owned and it wanted to buy it (which may account for the short notice if the other people wanted to be in in plenty of time).

Christmas happens every year so maybe you could think of budgeting better for it, but I can't say that I do!

Yes, your mum is insensitive.

I think perhaps you misread the OP. OP said that the move has left them short for xmas as they usually do budget every penny.

You cant really budget for the unexpected when given so short notice.

Could have had a rainy day fund but you usually find when it rains, it pours Personally we do have one but it took us about a year to get on top of everything to be able to start one. It does make all the difference though, knowing if something breaks.....we don't need to "find" the money as we already have it.