Advice needed :)

ladyelegance77

Hello everyone! I need some advice.....I live near Liverpool and my best friend lives near Reading. In the nearly 4 years we have been friends I have always gone to visit her and stay with her. Not once has she come up here to visit or stay with me or even meet up somewhere in the middle. Well I said I would come see her on my week off next month but I get paid tomorrow and after working out the bills and rent I simply can't afford it unless I do without till I go see her. I gave tried all public transport options and have got myself in quite a state about it all.....I even feel like a bad friend if I don't go. Sorry to vent.....just needed to get it off my chest.

neneromanova

What dates are you planning on going? Maybe we could help find cheap transport for you?

ladyelegance77

Going on Monday 16th December and coming back Friday 20th December. Would like to depart between half 9 and noon on said dates I'm going from Birkdale to Basingstoke. Thanks!

starrybee

Not once has she come up here to visit or stay with me or even meet up somewhere in the middle.

I wouldn't bother trying to go if I were you - why do you have to make the effort every time?

ladyelegance77

starrybee wrote: »

I wouldn't bother trying to go if I were you - why do you have to make the effort every time?

I've been asking myself that alot lately....

Liz3yy

I'm sorry but it's not much a good friendship if you're the one always making the effort

Counting_Pennies_2

If you really want to go, you can go via National Express Coaches for £26 each way

http://coach.nationalexpress.com/nxbooking/journey-list?journeyType=return&departureStopId=10091&destinationStopId=&departureDate=16%2F12%2F2013&departArrive=DepartAfter&outboundTime=09%3A00&returnDate=20%2F12%2F2013&departArriveReturn=DepartAfter&returnTime=09%3A00&adults=0&children=0&seniors=0&infants=0&disabled=0&euroAdults=1&euroChildren=0&euroSixtyPlus=0&euroInfants=0&usingCoachCard=false&familyCards=0&youngPersonCards=0&seniorCards=0&disabledCards=0&partnerId=NX&campaignId=DEFAULT&waiting=true

Changing at Birmingham

Counting_Pennies_2

Why don't you say to her that you can't afford to come, but would love it if she could come to you

shiny76

Invite her up, highlighting you always go there BUT...

rather than making an issue of you always having to go there perhaps phrase it someting like:

'money is a bit tight at the moment, so I can't afford the fare. However, you're always having to play host so perhaps I could look after you for a change'

ladyelegance77

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Why don't you say to her that you can't afford to come, but would love it if she could come to you

I have said that in the past....but she avoids the issue and says she can't afford it. I'm annoyed with myself for getting in such a state about it....

FBaby

The problem is that you have done it in the past without moaning about it, so she has no reason to think that it is a problem for you. She might not know that you are financially strapped. Friendships are not always 50/50 financial-wise, when for exemple, one give more support in other ways. Does she pay for your food and other things whilst you're staying at hers? Maybe that balances things out too.

The bottom line is you now need to come clean and explain that you cannot afford to come and see her all the time at full cost to you and you need to work out another way to get together.