Your thoughts please.

gunsandbanjos

Lovely people of MSE I need your opinions.

My 9 year old daughter came home from school in a bit of a tizz because it seems one of her friends in the class had found her teacher from last years notes on their class lying around. Now being typical nosy children they had a read.

Yes they shouldn't have read them but they really shouldn't have been anywhere that a child could possibly find them!

It listed one girl as "gifted and talented", now I know what that means but to a bunch of nine year olds that means your friend is super clever and the rest of you are thickos as you're not mentioned.

It also said they thought my daughter was dyslexic! Maybe you would have been kind enough to tell me rather than just note it down somewhere:mad: this lady was my daughters teacher for 2 years, surely she should have told me if she thought this?

The real clincher though is it said my daughter has "too many operations", well I'm terribly sorry that my child has to have repeated surgeries on her hugely malformed spine! It's not like she is doing it for fun:mad: God I'm so angry!

I'm not usually a hot head at all but this has really got my goat.

DD has a parents evening on Wednesday and my mum reckons I should speak to the head teacher. Any thoughts lovely peeps?

Dunroamin

How have you dealt with your daughter's involvement in this?

thorsoak

In your shoes, I would telephone the head tomorrow, tell him/her what your daughter's friends have told her - and request that you see the teacher's notes. I'm pretty sure that you have an entitlement to see them - although of course you will have no entitlement to see any notes on any other pupils.

Tiddlywinks

Before getting in a tizz yourself remember the following:

You are getting this all at least 3rd hand.

You are interpreting the information provided by a 9 year old.

It is wrong that they may have found the notes... but you don't know the exact circumstances of that do you.

Also, the wording may well have been VERY different to those used by your DD.

You could ask the teacher for a copy of the notes... or you could minimise the effect on your DD by explaining why teachers keep notes and what they might mean... and why they should remain private.

gunsandbanjos

Dunroamin wrote: »

How have you dealt with your daughter's involvement in this?

I told her off for reading them if that's what you mean, not sure what else I'm meant to do.

gunsandbanjos

thorsoak wrote: »

In your shoes, I would telephone the head tomorrow, tell him/her what your daughter's friends have told her - and request that you see the teacher's notes. I'm pretty sure that you have an entitlement to see them - although of course you will have no entitlement to see any notes on any other pupils.

That's what I was thinking, I certainly wasn't going to go in all guns blazing, that's not my style.

fluffnutter

No advice as such but what does 'gifted and talented' mean then? Is it a euphemism?

fluffnutter

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

That's what I was thinking, I certainly wasn't going to go in all guns blazing, that's not my style.

Nope. Not unless you took your banjos too

paulineb_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Before getting in a tizz yourself remember the following:

You are getting this all at least 3rd hand.

You are interpreting the information provided by a 9 year old.

It is wrong that they may have found the notes... but you don't know the exact circumstances of that do you.

Also, the wording may well have been VERY different to those used by your DD.

You could ask the teacher for a copy of the notes... or you could minimise the effect on your DD by explaining why teachers keep notes and what they might mean... and why they should remain private.

I agree with this. My mum is a teacher and I cant ever recall her making notes about any child unless its been on jotters or a report card situation.

Also, how would you feel if the teacher ended up disciplined? Not saying that means writing the notes was correct, but be prepared that if you do make an issue of this, the teacher could be in the worst case scenario suspended.

Id make a decision when you have cooled off somewhat.

Tiddlywinks

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I told her off for reading them if that's what you mean, not sure what else I'm meant to do.

You could have asked her to fully explain the circumstances of 'finding' those notes, explore the meaning of 'private' and discuss calmly that life is full of people who make reports... it can be part of their job... a time to understand that it is not to be seen as personal criticism etc.

Brighton_belle

Dunroamin wrote: »

How have you dealt with your daughter's involvement in this?

Even if OP's daughter had refused to read them, her class mates would have told her what was in them, so the same tittle tattle would have got around.

OP, I suspect the words have been potentially misquoted a little. but I think you are going to need to speak to the head to clear up what was and wasn't said, especially re the dyslexia and operations (e.g. it may have been, 'she has had to have far to many (unavoidable operations the poor girl but still manages very well')