Need a kick up the bum!!!

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Where to start, I separated from my husband just over 2 years ago, it really wasn't a pleasant separation. He had had an affair (they're still together now). This I think I've gotten over!!

So the problem is - I know I'm being stupid but my dd has a concert coming up and obviously she wants both mummy and daddy there. Which is fine as we are very amicable where the children are concerned. But he wants to bring his partner as well, which I really don't feel comfortable with. (There is a lot of personal stuff involved.)

So how do I deal with this?

I know that I no longer have feelings for him, (There is a lot of personal stuff involved, around the break up). But I really don't know how to deal with it.

Tiddlywinks

Best outfit, hairdresser earlier in the day, great make-up... and front it out.

Show him how together you are without him.

Enjoy being the better person and rising above her being there.

LondonDiva

Have a friend go with you to support you. Practice a fake smile and platitudes in front of the mirror to make sure your dd's memories of the event are of her parents being mature enough to put aside their emotions and feelings for her sake.

Then go home and have a v v large drink.

Person_one

What does your daughter think? Has he asked her if his partner can come?

Its her concert, I think its up to her who she invites.

Ladyhawk

You are going to face it one day, so jut brazen it out. Good luck. It'll be hard the first time but it will get easier.

meritaten

I think its down to DD on this - if she doesn't want her fathers partner there then perhaps you could say its only two tickets per child? if she does then its a case of 'put a brave face on it'! look the best you can and paint that smile on your face!

ollow

Thank you, you've all said what is going round in my head. My first response was while I'm not going then, but I've had time to calm down and I know I need to be there for my dd.

Unfortunately I'm a bit of a Billy no mates so I have no one to take with me.

I know it's going to happen one day and I know I have to deal with it but I am finding it very hard.

I also know I've come along way since we split up, passed my driving test, took the children on holiday, got myself a job.

lika_86

Better to get used to having your ex's new partner there now so that when it comes to big events in the future (a wedding perhaps?) it's all totally fine. I know so many people now facing wedding nightmares as their parents can't be around 'new' partners even when the new partner has been around for 10+ years.

Just remember that his new partner's probably feeling as weird that you'll be there and possibly feeling a bit inadequate and uncomfortable too.

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meritaten wrote: »

I think its down to DD on this - if she doesn't want her fathers partner there then perhaps you could say its only two tickets per child? if she does then its a case of 'put a brave face on it'! look the best you can and paint that smile on your face!

I would love to say only 2 tickets per child - which I've considered but his parents want tickets as well - all down to me to get (almost £60 worth inc christmas concerts, no problem here as there are 2 performances).

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lika_86 wrote: »

Just remember that his new partner's probably feeling as weird that you'll be there and possibly feeling a bit inadequate and uncomfortable too.

I would love to believe this but as I said lots of "stuff" went on and she's not the kind of person to feel inadequate especially not against me.

indsty

You are a "new woman" since your split - as others have said, go with all the confidence you can muster, and put on an act if you need to. If this lady is permanent in your ex's life she will, like it or not, be a part of your daughter's life too. Therefore you need to be able to be civil, and sociable to a degree. Remember that you are there to enjoy your daughter's performance at the concert and make that your priority. (Why are you Billy no mates - that is the next thing you need to put right !!)