Family member at disciplinary

elsien

monty-doggy wrote: »

I said I'd go alone twice but they insisted I don't an I'm in such an emotional state.

This is why I think it's the chop.

Maybe. Maybe not. You might be right. Or it might be that they are wanting to demonstrate that they've done everything they can to support you through the process and follow their procedures. It might be that the HR person genuinely thinks you need the support, regardless of possible outcomes (tbh if I thought an employee was going to cry all over me I'd be busting a gut to get them support so that they didn't!) You can't second guess, so there's no point trying. Do what you think is best for you on the day.

AP007

elsien wrote: »

Maybe. Maybe not. You might be right. Or it might be that they are wanting to demonstrate that they've done everything they can to support you through the process and follow their procedures. It might be that the HR person genuinely thinks you need the support, regardless of possible outcomes (tbh if I thought an employee was going to cry all over me I'd be busting a gut to get them support so that they didn't!) You can't second guess, so there's no point trying. Do what you think is best for you on the day.

I have really never heard of a family member going to any disciplinary - seems very odd to me

elsien

Our company has allowed it on occasions, when someone really doesn't have anyone else who can go along. It can be a PITA if the family member doesn't understand why they're there and gets bolshy, speaking out of turn, but I think the company decided on balance it looks better for them than having someone go in on their own and lose the plot.

mickey54

Forgive me if you think this is over the top...but do you have Legal Cover on your home insurance? If you do .. then you also have access to an employment lawyer...speak to them..let them come into your meeting. Whatever you decide..whether a relative or official...good luck

monty-doggy

mickey54 wrote: »

Forgive me if you think this is over the top...but do you have Legal Cover on your home insurance? If you do .. then you also have access to an employment lawyer...speak to them..let them come into your meeting. Whatever you decide..whether a relative or official...good luck

I didn't think of that. I'll check and if I have call them on Monday.
Thank you.

CFC

Monty I feel so bad for you.
Regardless of which way it goes, it doesn't mean you are unemployable.
Also it show your heart really is in retail as the depth of your sadness shows that you're in the right profession...which is a recommendation in itself.
Chin up sweetness, when it's all over at least the anxiety will be better.

monty-doggy

Thank you for the kind words. Sums it up really. I love my job, felt privileged to have it and I can hand on heart say I've given more than 100%. If this is the end of the road ten so be it. I honestly feel like a part of me has died. I've not much fight left at all.

How can I feel so broken over something so stupid?

CFC

Hon I hope you say that in mitigation in the hearing, and that if you had actually stopped to think about how it would have looked, you would never have done it in a heartbeat because you have always loved your job so much. Let them feel your passion.

monty-doggy

At my welfare meeting the HR manager even said she's never met anyone love their job so much and recalled how often she's heard me say it. I told them I'd never risk my job intentionally and I think they could see how devastated I am. I think that's why they suggested bringing my OH, because they can see I'm so distressed. I spoke to the HR manager today and I asked her if I would be better off resigning and she said I'd be better off attending the meeting. I want to have a glimmer of hope but I daren't let myself.
My one consolation is I've bought enough Xmas gifts for the kids. And If I get the boot I'll be home with them over Xmas rather than working.

Even though it's not what I want, every cloud

Dimey

Don't resign as you won't be eligible for job seekers allowance for up to 26 weeks if you do.