Is this stalking, a wind up or normal

LannieDuck

mum2one wrote: »

I'm not sure if this is just a wind up, possible stalking or what? I was asked by a friend, I think its odd, possibly weird, but thought ask?

Background.
-Shes a single mum, to a 11yr old child. Is this your friend?
-Split from dad when she was pregnant, DV was one of the reasons
Fathers never seen the child
-When she met the "father" his wife hadn't left him, she was serving a prison sentance
-Father leaves wife, shacks up with someone new your friend? (she has her own kids), they then have their own child, which he then starts court action to get to his 1st child
-Father was granted indirect contact through court 1 yr ago, novelty wore off, and he's dumped the child again
-In court order - father not allowed to make any contact with the mother, only arranged times with daughter

Then out of the blue
My friend - recieves facebook message from his new partner Do you mean the father's ex partner? Or has he split from your friend and moved on again? - threatening to get to the child, (bad enough for friend - reported to police)

message no 2 - Photo taken from friends facebook profile (her facebook locked to privacy), the photo was of mother and child, been cropped and edited to show just child - put into a online photo with other photos of him, her and their child and her child

-Bear in mind that the friends surname is as common as Jones - so they would have had to search through facebook, theres time taken to arrange the "family photo"

When I checked with friend, apparently the court order does not take into account the new partner - so basically she can do what she wants?

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Would you take the threat seriously, its not the 1st time there has been threats of abduction, although father, new partner and children live an hour away, he has friends in the area.

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Any advice I can pass on would be appriciated xx

I'm really confused about who's who. Could you clarify?

Molly41

Sounds like this is your situation - sorry but it so obvious.

I think you need to ring the police and then seek legal advice as this has the potential to become nasty.

19lottie82

stir_crazy wrote: »

I wouldn't, in case she needs it to contact distant friends, family members, etc.

Wow, how did people manage to contact others before Facebook?

FatVonD

I agree the Police should be notified and given copies of the threats.

If it was me I'd also be speaking to the boy and giving instructions of how to get in contact if anything should ever happen, the people he can trust, phone numbers to remember.

mum2one

couponqueen123 wrote: »

shes threatening to take a child thats not hers and the dad has no access to ?

ring the police now and report it show the messages , dont ignor this i wouldnt never and id be on at the school not to let her go unless mum has said so

i would never look at this threat as empty as its not uncommon for it to happen and its harder to get them back than you think

my brothers friend and his sister was taken to jordan in the middle east age 4 and 6 only returned after being kidnapped back aged 11 its tramatised the kids,they couldnt speak English or welsh any more they had to learn again worst of all they though there mum was dead untill they we returned to her ,

there mother and her family spent every penny shethey had and more to get them back also it nearly killed her ,

please dont take the risk and also where is the passport?

not wanting to scare you but it should be said

Thank you, spoke to friend,

- Shes reported the matter to the police - took photos of the facebook messages, - as much use as a chocolate teapot, the police can't do anything as the new partner is not covered by the court order, so unless she actually does anything there is nothing that she can do. As you can imagine, she took it bad.

Spoke to the school - there aware of situ - there fully supportive of mum and have arrangement in place, there reminding the staff concerned

Passport - child has one - the father is not named on birth certificate and doesn't have parental responsiibiity - (she was advised by solicitor previously to get passport).

Thank you thou for the help and advice, passing all along xx

unholyangel

mum2one wrote: »

Thank you, spoke to friend,

- Shes reported the matter to the police - took photos of the facebook messages, - as much use as a chocolate teapot, the police can't do anything as the new partner is not covered by the court order, so unless she actually does anything there is nothing that she can do. As you can imagine, she took it bad.

Spoke to the school - there aware of situ - there fully supportive of mum and have arrangement in place, there reminding the staff concerned

Passport - child has one - the father is not named on birth certificate and doesn't have parental responsiibiity - (she was advised by solicitor previously to get passport).

Thank you thou for the help and advice, passing all along xx

If its an ongoing (or is likely to be ongoing) issue, it may be a good idea for your friend to keep a diary of events. Date, time and what happened. Diaries such as these can prove invaluable when it comes to stalking/harassment cases.

Does the daughter want to see her dad? If not, perhaps your friend should tell her that if anyone tries to make her go somewhere she doesn't want to, she should just scream as loud as she can.

Dimey

Agree, this needs to be notified as she's done with the police. I'd also consider getting legal advice to see if this new partner can be included in the no-contact court injunction order. Show the threats and police report as evidence. Maybe even report it to court as the father must be pulling the strings or have given the woman your friends details.

I'd close my Facebook page after having taken copies for evidence required.

Yorkie1

Although the court order can't easily be varied, the police had the power to issue a harassment order warning to the new partner.

I'd want to know why they believed this wasn't necessary given that this is not normal behaviour, harassment has in fact been caused, and the purpose of the original order was to prevent harassment of the mother by the father in connection with his relationship with the child. The new partner has no reason to have any connection with the child and therefore the only logical conclusion to be drawn is that the purpose is either to simply get back at the mother, or to set the scene for greater involvement of the father.

Definitely continue to keep any further evidence and go back to the police if anything further happens. Not for breach of the original order, but to stop the new form of harassment which is occurring - a separate issue from which the mother is entitled to be protected.

There are legal ways to achieve greater involvement with the child - if that is what is behind this - and they are to go back to court. Not to do creepy things on facebook.

mum2one

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Although the court order can't easily be varied, the police had the power to issue a harassment order warning to the new partner.

I'd want to know why they believed this wasn't necessary given that this is not normal behaviour, harassment has in fact been caused, and the purpose of the original order was to prevent harassment of the mother by the father in connection with his relationship with the child. The new partner has no reason to have any connection with the child and therefore the only logical conclusion to be drawn is that the purpose is either to simply get back at the mother, or to set the scene for greater involvement of the father.

Definitely continue to keep any further evidence and go back to the police if anything further happens. Not for breach of the original order, but to stop the new form of harassment which is occurring - a separate issue from which the mother is entitled to be protected.

There are legal ways to achieve greater involvement with the child - if that is what is behind this - and they are to go back to court. Not to do creepy things on facebook.

Thank you, pass on, the thing is he's breeched the court order by not keeping up contact, so if he does go to court he'll have a lot of explaining to do and I doubt the court would be sympathetic.

As for solicitor - legal aid system all changed so shes not entitled to any help, and dreads to see the cost of an appointment and letter.

Alias_Omega

I found post #1 hard to read.