Is this stalking, a wind up or normal

mum2one

I'm not sure if this is just a wind up, possible stalking or what? I was asked by a friend, I think its odd, possibly weird, but thought ask?

Background.
-Shes a single mum, to a 11yr old child.
-Split from dad when she was pregnant, DV was one of the reasons
Fathers never seen the child
-When she met the "father" his wife hadn't left him, she was serving a prison sentance
-Father leaves wife, shacks up with someone new (she has her own kids), they then have their own child, which he then starts court action to get to his 1st child
-Father was granted indirect contact through court 1 yr ago, novelty wore off, and he's dumped the child again
-In court order - father not allowed to make any contact with the mother, only arranged times with daughter

Then out of the blue
My friend - recieves facebook message from his new partner - threatening to get to the child, (bad enough for friend - reported to police)

message no 2 - Photo taken from friends facebook profile (her facebook locked to privacy), the photo was of mother and child, been cropped and edited to show just child - put into a online photo with other photos of him, her and their child and her child

-Bear in mind that the friends surname is as common as Jones - so they would have had to search through facebook, theres time taken to arrange the "family photo"

When I checked with friend, apparently the court order does not take into account the new partner - so basically she can do what she wants?

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Would you take the threat seriously, its not the 1st time there has been threats of abduction, although father, new partner and children live an hour away, he has friends in the area.

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Any advice I can pass on would be appriciated xx

AlexLK

Sounds like an utter mess to me, though taking the effort to look through a lot of facebook profiles to crop somebody's picture does not sound "normal".

Could be worth telling your friend to contact the authorities just in case? However, I doubt the police would do much.

Also, why on earth would a couple split up due to a blood clot issue?

ETA: Sorry for being a thick ****.

cte1111

DV = domestic violence (not blood clot)

AlexLK

CTE: Thank you for the clarification and sorry.

whitewing

I think it is one of those things that may just be hot air but may also be an attempt to intimidate.

I'd report, but agree that it may appear that not much is being done about it.

podperson

It doesn't sound normal that's for sure. The thing that springs to mind is does the new partner have mutual friends with your friend on Facebook. That way your friend could be popping on 'friend of friend' feeds and that's why they've come back to this person's attention and how they managed to get access to their photos. I would suggest blocking this person totally and if they do have any mutual friends possibly upping the privacy settings so they can't see any private posts either.
I think your friend did the right thing by reporting them. They're probably trying to cause drama but better safe than sorry - if they do take things any further then there's a record of it.

mum2one

podperson wrote: »

It doesn't sound normal that's for sure. The thing that springs to mind is does the new partner have mutual friends with your friend on Facebook. That way your friend could be popping on 'friend of friend' feeds and that's why they've come back to this person's attention and how they managed to get access to their photos. I would suggest blocking this person totally and if they do have any mutual friends possibly upping the privacy settings so they can't see any private posts either.
I think your friend did the right thing by reporting them. They're probably trying to cause drama but better safe than sorry - if they do take things any further then there's a record of it.

The new partner and my frined have never met, she lives away - he moved upto her, theres no friends in common, shes had probs before so her facebook is private, about 20 friends, they dont mix in circles the same. I advised the total block, shes's done that and with as many of the ex-s relatives that she knows by name incase they crop up. x

paulineb_2

Id shut down my facebook page.

stir_crazy

paulineb wrote: »

Id shut down my facebook page.

I wouldn't, in case she needs it to contact distant friends, family members, etc. But I would remove all pictures of the child.

whitewing

You can also ring the Stalking Helpline for advice

http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/faq/about-stalking/

couponqueen123

shes threatening to take a child thats not hers and the dad has no access to ?

ring the police now and report it show the messages , dont ignor this i wouldnt never and id be on at the school not to let her go unless mum has said so

i would never look at this threat as empty as its not uncommon for it to happen and its harder to get them back than you think

my brothers friend and his sister was taken to jordan in the middle east age 4 and 6 only returned after being kidnapped back aged 11 its tramatised the kids,they couldnt speak English or welsh any more they had to learn again worst of all they though there mum was dead untill they we returned to her ,

there mother and her family spent every penny shethey had and more to get them back also it nearly killed her ,

please dont take the risk and also where is the passport?

not wanting to scare you but it should be said