StressedStephs Fight against debt..Again!

StressedSteph

Would you beleive it. I only just got a text inviting out on a friends husbands birthday night. , thats three invites in 24 hours :eek::mad:.
Of course its a no, but its bloomin annoying.

I am going to have to keep practicing my excuses.

dktreesea

Paying off debt whilst denying yourself a life of your own isn't the best plan, imho. If your friends are important to you, it's good to see them. Good for your morale, for starters. Not everything in life is about money. If it means an extra 3 to 4 months to pay everything off, just so you can pay yourself £20 a week, maybe that will be better for your happiness, rather than just going into deep austerity and hibernation for the next couple of years?

How would the snowball look if, for the £300 a month you have left over, you put some in an emergency fund (even £30 a month builds up and could keep you out of the bank charges/failed DD realm), paid £100 a month to yourself, £50 a month to your DD (since he already has his £20 a week fund) and just increased the debt repayments by £50 a month?

I have been down this track, of rabid austerity, seven years of debt repayments. A long time ago, where I didn't go out or do anything extra, just obsessed about repaying STD (sexually transmitted debt from a relationship way back when). It was over £70k, so not a small amount. Looking back even now, I regret not taking 8 years to repay it and giving myself a bit of a life instead.

StressedSteph

dktreesea wrote: »

Paying off debt whilst denying yourself a life of your own isn't the best plan, imho. If your friends are important to you, it's good to see them. Good for your morale, for starters. Not everything in life is about money. If it means an extra 3 to 4 months to pay everything off, just so you can pay yourself £20 a week, maybe that will be better for your happiness, rather than just going into deep austerity and hibernation for the next couple of years?

How would the snowball look if, for the £300 a month you have left over, you put some in an emergency fund (even £30 a month builds up and could keep you out of the bank charges/failed DD realm), paid £100 a month to yourself, £50 a month to your DD (since he already has his £20 a week fund) and just increased the debt repayments by £50 a month?

I have been down this track, of rabid austerity, seven years of debt repayments. A long time ago, where I didn't go out or do anything extra, just obsessed about repaying STD (sexually transmitted debt from a relationship way back when). It was over £70k, so not a small amount. Looking back even now, I regret not taking 8 years to repay it and giving myself a bit of a life instead.

Morning,

Thanks so much for taking time to help me out. Once I get back on an even keel then I will set us a small "Fun budget" per month, as I agree that by making life too hard it makes it harder to stay on track.

BUT......unfortunately we have had to pay out for two really big bills the last couple of months, £600 for extension roof and £660 for heating oil. I just ordered both without a thought as to how we would pay it. Both creditors got nasty so paid them in a hurry which has now cause normal DD (mortgage :eek:) to bounce.

So November and December and maybe even January will be me playing catch up really. Once I get back up to date with everything then I can start allowing things like the occasional meal with friends, but while my mortgage goes un paid, I feel I have to be super boring and tough and avoid any uneccessary expense.

Typical that it has to be the party month of the year though. I am soooo useless. :mad:

NinjaSavingKat

dktreesea wrote: »

Paying off debt whilst denying yourself a life of your own isn't the best plan, imho. If your friends are important to you, it's good to see them. Good for your morale, for starters. Not everything in life is about money.

I am going to have to play devils advocate here and stipulate when charges on your bank cease, mortgage is up to date and you are less panicked then perhaps someone in considerable debt can relax a litle and and have a life.

Right here and now, having only had a real, frightening LBM in the last week is not the time to harvest a "relaxed" attitude. Yes when you are a long hauler and you can just about see the end of the tunnel THEN and only then could you afford to look at extending your debt free date by a few months - but right now Steph, when you are questioning how to afford Christmas for your children I think some outings / meet-ups etc can be missed. Should be missed.

Yes this is your choice at the end of the day - you can only take these opinions from me and Dktreesea and weight them up. We are not here to set your goal in solid stone with no wavering - at the end of the day you have to rely on you...

But you can't relax just yet. Sorry! .....

But you already know that...

So November and December and maybe even January will be me playing catch up really. Once I get back up to date with everything then I can start allowing things like the occasional meal with friends, but while my mortgage goes un paid, I feel I have to be super boring and tough and avoid any uneccessary expense.

StressedSteph

Morning Diary,

Have calculated that i have £124 due in from my craft sales, just need to get it from everyone, but that should help the bank account.

Feels good to be doing abit towards the finances

Not much to report today, the mouse on our main computer isn't working so cant tally my bank account against my spreadsheet this morning, although it won't be pretty so not overly keen on looking.

I am just concentrating on NOT spending any money so I can't make it any worse.

I have signed up to go to a craft fair in december and it costs £10 per table. I could make quite abit of money there, but I have to pay for the table in advance through Paypal.
tried to pay it this morning but of course with the bank account being empty it would'nt go through. Not too sure what to do about that really. Aaargh.

Of well, just the joys of being uber-broke. I need to somehow bottle how I feel now, so when it starts to get a little bit easier, i won't get lazy and start spending again.

Guess I just need to re-read my diary.

Hope you all have a quiet cheap week ahead.
Speak soon
SS

debtfreewannabe321

We all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. You've paid them off now so need to concentrate on getting back on that even keel and then allocating some fun money we've turned down nearly every invite for years and it's left me with pretty much no friends and the same for DH. I couldn't possibly afford the evening out, the babysitter and the cab a few hours out would end up costing at least £50 and just didn't seem worth it. Typically now the debt has gone I have a child who is old enough to babysit for free which would save me money, but now I have no friends to go out with

Have a good frugal Monday

maddiemay

Morning Steph
Just looking in to say Hi (waves).

DKTreesa has a good point, but from your latest comment it looks as if you have no choice regarding the tough few months ahead.

Although it is a shame to miss the parties, I believe that you will have much more peace of mind and a boost to your ability to sort out your situation once and for all, if you plod through this uncomfortable time and as you say get on an even keel with your mortgage etc.

I think the real key to your being able to pay off your debt and live with in your families income will need to be forward planning down to the 9th degree. Knowing at all times what stocks you have in larder, freezer, animal food and supplies, fuel, children's uniform etc. Living in a rural situation as you and I do, does make everything much more expensive in terms of lack of choice and humongous diesel/petrol costs.

Lists and meal plans could be your saviour, if you are aware of exactly what will be needed over a period of time you will be able to make your journeys more cost effective and perhaps occasionally get to larger town for the clothing purchases from A*da, S-bugs etc. Next children's clothes are lovely, but even my reasonably well paid family only buy them in the sales or the charity shops.

I will keep cheering you on from the sideline and if you "go missing" I will bombard you with PM's:rotfl::rotfl:

StressedSteph

Thanks so much for your replies, Yes for the foreseeable I am concentrating on bringing money in, not sending it out

My little craft business is a new thing for me and for the first time in years I have the ability to be able to bring in a little bit of money and it feels VERY addictive.

Will focus my attention on selling things, primarily by using up craft supplies I ALREADY have and avoid spending at all costs.

Feel really mad at myself because I remembered last night that I sold my nans old gold bracelet during my last LBM and it raised alot of money to help us out, even though I swore I would never sell it and then I went and ruined it all.
It makes me very sad and angry with myself. I struggle sometimes to see whats good with myself as I just seem to be incapable of sticking to ANYTHING till the end. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Ok rant over, off to do more sewing xxxxx

StressedSteph

Ok, I have called N#xt and Co-#p Credit Card to explain non payment. Both were relatively nice to me and have both agreed a reduced payment and no charges for December & January.

Not the fantastic cancelling of interest forever like V!rgin but at least it will save me digging my hole any deeper until we are back on our feet. Boy do I wish B#rclays would do the same .

Feel a lot happier facing up to my issues, I have avoided phone calls and ripped up letters and tried to ignore it for a while and it doesn't help my mental health AT ALL.

I sometimes feel terrified of the phone and the postman because I KNOW its going to be something nasty.

Just had a text from my bank saying that if I bank £845 today I will get back with my overdraft limit :eek:. If only!!!.

NinjaSavingKat

Steph may I ask what you sew - or what your little crafty bits are? Do you have an eBay business page? If you have a skill like this you could seriously exploit it!!!