Relationship / What to do? / Problem

deeriley93

Hey all.

I'm 20 and i'm in a situation were i don't really know what to do,
none of my friends seem to understand.

Iv been dating this girl for just under 9 month now (its not a long time) but the thing is iv known her for 16 years because we went to the same primary, so that kinda makes it feel special to me. she has a full time job as a carer.
- anyway cut to the point, me and her have had some ups and down.
When we first got together i noticed she was still in recent contact (Texting, Facebook messages) with her ex boyfriend who she had been split up for two years. She said they were just friends and thats all, so i just accepted that and moved on because i thought she wouldn't lie to me, 6 months down the line i take her on a short holiday up to the lake district and we spent 4 days alone and got to know each other a lot more. After we came back from this holiday she was going to her best friends house a lot more than usual, (bare in mind her ex boyfriend lives two doors up from her best friend) so i got suspicious. She was acting really strange with me so i questioned her and she lied to me, I later found out off her ex-boyfriend they was becoming close again, so i accepted that and tried to move on but she came running back with the sorry sorry stories, anyway i gave her another chance and 8 month down the line i find out she's been going to her friends a whole lot more again and now them two are getting with each other (snogging, kissing) but she runs back to me with the sorry and crying stuff, (crying women just win me over every time). So i accept her back. (Being treated as a mug or is it just love?) 1 month later down the line i'm thinking to myself what the f**k am i doing? so i end the relationship, and recently another girl has been speaking to me she's 18 she's better looking then "My Ex" and shes very nice to speak to, she understands me a whole lot more. i noticed she can be abit moody though. The thing the 18 year old had been sleeping with a friend a mine two weeks ago, they had been meeting for 2 months before-hand and he kissed somebody else so them two ended. My ex asked to see me today at work on my break so i agreed, she did the all crying stuff again but i can really see her making an effort this time, shes really trying a lot more than before because she had realised what shes lost.

My situation.
WHAT DO I DO?

Do i go back with my ex and risk being cheated on and lied too?

or

Start fresh and live with knowing a friend has slept with my New Girlfriend for the rest of my life? / My friend hating me.

Thank you for your time

Rev

We're it me the ex wouldn't be thought. She's have been long gone. To say you're being taken for a mug is a massive understatement.

You make it sound like this new girl will be the love of your life and you'll be with her forever having to deal with the fact constantly that she used to date one of your friends. If its that much of an issue then don't go there either. Being single isn't a crime. She obviously didn't care much about your friend to be on the dating scene two weeks flyer breaking up with him. Unless you're the rebound. Again not a position to put yourself in.

I really don't want to be harsh but it all seems very immature. Snogging 'meeting'. Constant cheating. Friends hating you. You being bothered by her dating a friend.

Everyone has a past. Whoever you are in a relationship with will have dated someone previously.

We're I you I'd get rid of them both, your friend too for being an idiot, he was the one who cheated on her. And wait until you meet someone mature enough to understand the meaning of the word 'relationship'.

Netwizard

Ditch the fcuking pair of them and find someone that will treat you with the respect that you deserve

Alias_Omega

Your 20,

I would sack that off and move on with your life. Took me about 7 months to find another Mrs Right.

Had to kiss a few frogs to get to her, but i knew when it was right.

Ever heard of the term.. "Friends with Benefits?".

At your age, that would be my next plan of action for a bit..

marisco_2

deeriley93 wrote: »

My situation.
WHAT DO I DO?

Do i go back with my ex and risk being cheated on and lied too?

or

Start fresh and live with knowing a friend has slept with my New Girlfriend for the rest of my life? / My friend hating me.

Thank you for your time

For once on MSE this one is easy to answer.

Do neither of the above.

Your ex is a lying cheat who doesn't know what she wants. Once a cheat always a cheat. Crocodile tears can be turned on and off at the drop of a hat. Ignore her and move on.

Don't get involved with this other girl who has recently slept with a friend of yours. You will be no more than a rebound thing to her.

My advice is take a break from relationships for a while and work on your self esteem and sense of self worth. They must be battered down a fair bit for you to even consider that these two women are your only options.

tea_lover

Definitely option 3 - neither of them.

19lottie82

I agree with the others, you're 20. Neither of these girls sound too perfect (no one wants to be with a liar and being "moody" in the early stages of a relationship, is a recipe for disaster, trust me).

Get out there and have fun!

browneyedbazzi

What on earth makes you think those two are your only options?

As others have said, choose neither...there's no harm in being single for a while at your age and enjoying life until you meet someone who is right for you.

aileth

I wouldn't touch either of them with a bargepole.

Made me smile though, I haven't heard/seen someone say the word 'snogging' in years

Jenny484

The 2nd option is better-looking than your ex? That's alright then. That's the important factor anyone should base a relationship on.

victory

My oh My at the age of 20 life should be such fun, are you having fun?