presents for grandchildren after their Nanny has died

olgadapolga

olivetrees wrote: »

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply - I really couldn't think about what to do as I don't want the children to forget her. You've given me a much better perspective and some much more appropriate ideas.

You are all very wise!

xxxxx

I am so sorry for your loss. Don't worry about your children forgetting your mum, they won't. Both of my grandfathers dies when I was eight and I still remember them as though I'd seen them yesterday.

A note of caution though - my children are about the same age as yours and their grandad died last year. They haven't forgotten him but in the first few months after his death they didn't want to talk about him as it upset them too much. Even now they don't really like talking about him as they become very distressed by it so we don't really push it but we answer questions as and when they occur.

Why not put together a photo album/memory box between you? When it's appropriate, and they feel ready, ask them for their favourite memories of her - they could make a picture of the memory or something and pop it in the box. You add things that represent your memories as well Then it's something to share at another time. They could even help choose/make the box.

go_cat

If you wanted to say its from their nan could you say she has left them x amount of £ and they can buy what they want in memory of her?

At 7 and 8 they should be old enough to understand this

want_to_save

when my grandma passed my sister had grandma's eternity ring made into two identical heart pendents me and my sister (i am now 38 she is 43) still have these (grandma passed 14 years ago) and they are true keepsakes

meritaten

isn't there something of your mums you could give them? I have a box of initialled handkerchiefs which belonged to my nan - some of them used and laundered others pristine. they mean a lot to me - every time I open the drawer I see them and think of her- and her habit of whipping her hanky from up her sleeve to 'dust' any surface!
I also have some things in boxes which I intend to pass on to the grandkids - they are not particularly valuable now but are fast approaching 'antique' status and having belonged to nan they are in perfect condition.

pawsies

Why don't you all go to the garden centre, pick a tree and plant it in memory of her?

Rev

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum almost a year ago.

I have no kids but she doted on my cousins little boy and saw him as her grandson, they were very close. It was his 5th birthday a few months after she passed. He was sad he wouldn't see her. So I did what she had done for his previous birthdays and took him shopping. I let him pick a present and told him I was buying it for her because she couldn't buy it herself. It cheered him up that he got a present from her. He has her favourite teddy near too. And a blanket she knitted for him when he was born.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. It helped him feel better on his birthday. He knows its not 'from' her and that she has gone. But this way he got to miss her that tiny bit less on a day he was missing her a lot.

I think it depends on the child but if it makes them feel better at a time when they're going through something that don't fully grasp (depending in their age obviously) then I can't see it as being a bad thing.

ognum

OP I understand your sentiments and your wish that your children won't forget her.

My opinion is that gifts are not needed to remember someone, her memory comes from talking about her life and her love for your children, do you have a lovely photo of them together that could be put into a simple frame so that they can retain a visual memory.

What was your Mums favourite thing to do or place to go, maybe go on a little trip and talk about her.

I would only give them a gift if it was something that belonged to your mum otherwise just talk about her and how much you all loved her.

olivetrees

you've all been so kind - such thoughtfulness.

There is a lot think about..I do like the idea of a tree...something we can all watch grow and for the children to choose something of hers as a keepsake.

Tough times at the moment so thank you for you help.

xxxxx

Mojisola

olivetrees wrote: »

There is a lot think about..I do like the idea of a tree...something we can all watch grow and for the children to choose something of hers as a keepsake.

If it's going to be planted in the ground, think about how long you'll be living in the house. Moving house and leaving Nanny's tree behind might be upsetting.

Roses are easy to transplant and live for years and there's a massive variety of named roses - the children could chose one that will remind them of Nanny.

pink68

Hi there, my children were similar ages when they lost my Mum and then my Grandad to cancer too.

Their most treasured possessions to come out of it are for my daughter a framed photo of my Mum when she was in her late teens and my son treasures my grandads old tobacco tins.

The first Christmas I brought them both a present, just a couple of little trinkets really, and just explained that I had bought this for them with their grandmother in mind. I dont remember what I bought though now! It was the things they helped themselves to that they have continued to treasure, not the things I 'thought' would be memories.