Leaving with nothing - help!

tonyciclo

hannah9000 wrote: »

this was my doing-my feelings have changed and it's nothing he's done-I've just fallen out of love. I think to ask him for money would be like rubbing salt in the wound!

I can fully understand your view. When I left Swansea I walked out of our home leaving the entire property and contents for my ex wife. I didn't see that it was fair on her when she had done nothing wrong - I just didn't want to be with her anymore.

Some years later I contacted her and had her solicitor draw up the gift deed. The value of the gift was substantial (approx. £45,000 in 1975) and I saw it as compensation for walking out and leaving her.

nannytone_2

hannah9000 wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies (!)

I work 20 hours a week, my son goes to nursery so I already get tax credits, I know these will increase once I've moved out and I'm also aware I'm entitled to housing benefit help.

I don't wish to ask for any money from my ex, this was my doing-my feelings have changed and it's nothing he's done-I've just fallen out of love. I think to ask him for money would be like rubbing salt in the wound!

money your ex gives wouldnt be for you though.
it would be for the support of your son and you sone deserves to be supported by both his parents

StormyWeather_2

I agree with nannytone. If he is the father, your ex should contribute to your son.

Could you find somewhere nearer to work and nursery or better public transport so you don't need a car? Is there anyone at your work you could car pool with and pay them towards petrol?

hannah9000

The car is absolutely necessary as nursery is 11 miles away from where I work. Also the family home is in the sticks so a car will be required to get my son to and from his dads.

Morglin

Try ringing the local social services at your council - as you have a young child, it may be that they can refer you onto a local charity for essentials etc.,

Freecycle also do stuff for nothing.


As said above, check that you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to. You can do this via the "Turn2us" website.


Lin

GwylimT

Why doesn't dad just take son to nursery, that way you can rent a property closer to work and just walk.

brendon

tonyciclo wrote: »

Where do the sick and disabled feature then who can't work?

I guess that would come under the "desire to better themselves", as I said. I'm not saying people need to work, just that people should try the best they can, with the hand they are dealt.

tonyciclo wrote: »

What about those that are genuine claimants desperately looking for work and manipulate their circumstances in such a way as to maximise the amount that can be claimed in benefits?

Are you talking about fraud? That's already illegal and is totally irrelevant. 99%+ of claims are not fraudulent.

tonyciclo wrote: »

What about those that are 63+ that have opted out of claiming JSA and now claim Pension Credit instead for an easier life?

Well, that comes under what I originally said. Obviously, if people are retirement age, they should be entitled to retire.

You can come up with as many pedantic "what ifs" as you like; you know the point I'm trying to make.

KxMx

hannah9000 wrote: »

The car is absolutely necessary as nursery is 11 miles away from where I work. Also the family home is in the sticks so a car will be required to get my son to and from his dads.

Your ex has a car though, it is not your job to take him to his dad's and back.
Along with child support that is the responsibility of your ex.

I realise you've said you feel the split is down to you but doing all the financial and practical things for your son out of a sense of guilt is going to make your life a lot harder.

danielanthony

Get the father to move out and leave the car, simples.

princessdon

You've been paying for his car so why can't he leave it with you? Then get furniture from freecycle.