baby photos sent to uncle "is a bit gay"

KnightSmile

I am a guy in my mid-twenties and my sister commented that she sends everybody ie my mum, dad, sister and me lots of photos of her 6 month old baby. She then added "but I send you less because its a bit gay".

I responded saying it where did that come from? why is it gay? She then left the room to make a tea (she was halfway out the room when she said it). I then said night to my nephew and left the room (I was going anyway). My sister apologised "as she didnt mean to offend me" and I said if you don't want to offend me then don't say ridiculous things like that. And left it at that.

I won't dwell on it and to be fair to my sister she apologised once she saw I was annoyed but it kind of makes me feel a bit awkward for taking a (healthy) interest in my first ever nephew. And I find comments like that really sad. (kind of inferring I could be a !!!!!phile!)

Do other people hear comments like that?

**Additional comment**

sorry just to address the pedophille comment - as it does sound like a bit of a leap from my initial post. (and I definitely do NOT equate being gay and a pedo as one and the same!!!)

Because she said it was "a bit gay" to send me pics of my nephew I kind of thought she was saying it as if I fancied him or something! I now realise that she was probably just being a tad sexist. Rather than inferring I was a pedo! lol

con1888

I wouldn't take it in that way, would take it more like she thinks you wouldn't be as interested as men tend to be less 'awww' when it comes to babies.

thehappybutterfly

i dont think she meant it in a !!!!!phile way. You dont say how old your sis is but my 16 yo daughter says gay to mean geeky / wet / twee. That kind of thing. She knows the real meaning of the word gay but she doesnt see homosexuality as a big deal so doesnt use it in a descriptive way.

*max*

She probably thought you wouldn't be interested in all the pics because you're a man and she thinks men aren't as interested in baby pics.


As an aside....why on earth would mentionning "gay" implies you're a pedophile??? Why would you think the two are related in any way? Bit of a weird leap there! :cool:

paulineb_2

KnightSmile wrote: »

I am a guy in my mid-twenties and my sister commented that she sends everybody ie my mum, dad, sister and me lots of photos of her 6 month old baby. She then added "but I send you less because its a bit gay".

I responded saying it where did that come from? why is it gay? She then left the room to make a tea (she was halfway out the room when she said it). I then said night to my nephew and left the room (I was going anyway). My sister apologised "as she didnt mean to offend me" and I said if you don't want to offend me then don't say ridiculous things like that! And left it at that.

I won't dwell on it and to be fair to my sister she apologised once she saw I was annoyed but it kind of makes me feel a bit awkward for taking a (healthy) interest in my first ever nephew. And I find comments like that really sad. (kind of inferring I could be a !!!!!phile!)

Do other people hear comments like that?

Yes, I post on football forums and that kind of thing is said all the time. And worse. But Im scottish and if you call someone a fat b it means you like them, it takes a lot to offend.

I dont think for a minute she was implying that you were gay or had an unhealthy interest in your nephew. Ive seen people call lots of things gay and its not a pop at anyone who is gay, its just the word they use.

Its a bit inappropriate, but its just use of terminology. And I do think youve read more into the comment than she actually meant, not worth falling out over, seriously.

lika_86

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

i dont think she meant it in a !!!!!phile way. You dont say how old your sis is but my 16 yo daughter says gay to mean geeky / wet / twee. That kind of thing. She knows the real meaning of the word gay but she doesnt see homosexuality as a big deal so doesnt use it in a descriptive way.

If I were you I wouldn't be encouraging or condoning the use of 'gay' as an insult. Whilst she may not see it as referring to homosexuality, when it is used to denigrate something or worse, someone, it reinforces an idea that being gay is something that is shameful and socially unacceptable. I'd be looking to show her the possible effects of what she seems to see as harmless language.

zaksmum

I think you are massively over reacting here. I can't for the life of me see how you can be offended.

Saying something is "gay" is just a daft expression - my grandson says school dinners are gay! - and I'd say it's your poor sister who deserves the apology, not you.

Get real, for heaven's sake.

paulineb_2

zaksmum wrote: »

I think you are massively over reacting here. I can't for the life of me see how you can be offended.

Saying something is "gay" is just a daft expression - my grandson says school dinners are gay! - and I'd say it's your poor sister who deserves the apology, not you.

Get real, for heaven's sake.

I agree, its a daft expression

I remember my gran saying to me that in her day, gay meant happy, joyful. We dont use that word really anymore

Come on, if I had to be pulled up everytime I said something inappropriate, Id be getting lectured all the time and Im far from the worst.

I also wouldnt use the expression, thats a bit gay but Ive said plenty other things that are less than politically correct.

In fact, I bet there are plenty people who are gay or straight or everything in between who have really inappropriate senses of humour, unless someone means something nastily just live and let live.

Gloomendoom

From Wiki...

Gay

In the Anglosphere, this connotation, among younger speakers, has a derisive meaning equivalent to rubbish or stupid (as in "That's so gay."). In this use, the word does not mean "homosexual", so it can be used, for example, to refer to an inanimate object or abstract concept of which one disapproves. This usage can also refer to weakness or unmanliness.

Richard53

She meant it in a jokey way, you took it badly, she apologised, end of story. As others have said, 'gay' amongst a certain age group just means silly or wet. You don't say how old your sister is, but I have heard 16-year-olds using it in this way 30+ years ago. It's not very PC, perhaps, but it's common enough for her not to think about any deeper meaning. There was, I am sure, no implication that you were actually gay, or that you had an unhealthy interest in children. No harm, no foul; lighten up a bit.

KnightSmile

Thanks for the comments.

Like I said its not something which will be an issue a second longer.

I think I was annoyed because I dont like it when people use the word 'gay' to suggest something is rubbish or used to describe something negative because it implies there is something 'wrong' with being gay. There isnt. Anyone that thinks that using the term in that way is harmless should find out how some gay people feel when they hear it used like that.

And the other reason for my annoyance was because of the assumption that guys wouldnt want to have photos of a relative sent to them.

I agree I need to lighten up. Been a stressful day at work and I'm reading too much into it as you all say.

By the way it wasn't a big drama. I calmly challenged the comment she made and we left it at that. It is already forgotten on both sides I'm sure.