baby photos sent to uncle "is a bit gay"

Person_one

I can't believe people still think that using 'gay' as an insult or to mean pathetic/geeky/uncool is acceptable.

You're kidding yourselves if you think its nothing to do with homosexuality.

OP, there's nothing at all wrong with taking an interest in your nephew. Yes, there is the stereotype that men aren't interested in babies and that its a feminine quality (hence 'gay' I expect) but that's just a stereotype. I bet your nephew will be glad you care as he gets older!

paulineb_2

Maybe some people who are gay wouldnt give a monkeys either way, I know people who are gay who wouldnt care less if something was referred to as being a bit "gay" and the thing is, if they arent offended, no one needs to get offended on their behalf and if they are offended, they can say so.

I dont think for a minute that its easy being gay in a straight world, but when did political correctness go so mad that someone makes a comment in a certain context and its suddenly a cause for concern.

If someone who was gay, or straight, or undecided, or bi was being abused Id step in in a minute. If someone says something thats a bit inappropriate, Id say something like wind your neck in.

Your sister didnt mean any harm by the comment, Im sure, but I bet she'll watch what she says around you from now on and maybe as far as youre concerned thats a good thing.

But there are many comments people make on a day to day basis that I bet arent appropriate. If she had said something downright homophobic and offensive then yes I understand why you would be very upset

I have friends who laugh at very sick jokes, but thats all it is. If I thought for one moment they were racist, sexist or homophobic they wouldnt be my friends

Theres a difference.

meritaten

I would just say to sis that you would love more photos of your new nephew. when my DD had her first son her brothers were like 'clucking hens' around him! they adored him! and would have been very put out if they were thought to be less 'interested' in him!

KnightSmile

thanks for the comment meritaten. That's a much better way to articulate a suitable response in a postive way.

I will try something like that in future situations where I get a tiny bit annoyed by a comment which isnt intended to be offensive.

Nottoobadyet

I disagree and think that he has every right to be offended at his sister implying that he was some sort of pervy uncle for wanting photos of his growing nephew. I assume that he knows his sister better than we do, so if thats the way she uses the word she is bang out of line.

pinkshoes

KnightSmile wrote: »

Thanks for the comments.

Like I said its not something which will be an issue a second longer.

I think I was annoyed because I dont like it when people use the word 'gay' to suggest something is rubbish or used to describe something negative because it implies there is something 'wrong' with being gay. There isnt. Anyone that thinks that using the term in that way is harmless should find out how some gay people feel when they hear it used like that.

And the other reason for my annoyance was because of the assumption that guys wouldnt want to have photos of a relative sent to them.

I agree I need to lighten up. Been a stressful day at work and I'm reading too much into it as you all say.

By the way it wasn't a big drama. I calmly challenged the comment she made and we left it at that. It is already forgotten on both sides I'm sure.

Are you sure you're not a girl??? You really do over-think things!

Gay = naff/sad/lame, and has meant that for years!

lika_86

pinkshoes wrote: »

Are you sure you're not a girl??? You really do over-think things!

Because why not throw a bit of everyday sexism in too? Just for the fun of it.

itsanne

Nottoobadyet wrote: »

I disagree and think that he has every right to be offended at his sister implying that he was some sort of pervy uncle for wanting photos of his growing nephew. I assume that he knows his sister better than we do, so if thats the way she uses the word she is bang out of line.

I don't get this. Why would being gay make him a pervy uncle? He was wrong to equate being gay with being a !!!!!phile, and you seem to be doing the same thing.


edited to add I wrote the p word in full - it's interesting to see what has happened to it on posting :cool:. Doesn't make any sense. Presumably everyone understands what it's supposed to be :rotfl:.

KnightSmile

sorry just to address the pedophille comment - as it does sound like a bit of a leap from my initial post. (and I definitely do NOT equate being gay and a pedo as one and the same!!!)

Because she said it was "a bit gay" to send me pics of my nephew I kind of thought she was saying it as if I fancied him or something! I now realise that she was probably just being a tad sexist. Rather than inferring I was a pedo! lol

Nottoobadyet

Of course I dont - its the Ops sister that made a comment that can only be equated with gay = fancies my small child enough to want photos or gay = unmanly enough to want photos.

Either way, I hope she reconstructs herself a bit before passing the habit on to her child.