a little update

bobthebuilder2006

i hate to say it, but i knew something like this was going on....

same sort of thing happened to me, i can tell you whats happened, only hes being sneaky about it...

something has gone on with this person, and the other person is probably messing him around, so hes messing you around

get rid, my ex started with this "i need space" !!!!

i gave it 4 days, snapped and through all her stuff over the road in rage cause i knew she was just seeing if the grass was greener

your getting messed around love, if he had any respect for you he wouldn't be doing this,

i do feel for you exact same thing happened to me (in a way)

bobthebuilder2006

Confusedheart wrote: »

Hi all,

Just a little update.

Sunday OH admitted he had feelings for a girl at work. Although said he loved me and is confused.

Sunday night after he finished work he said he'd been thinking and that he'd never cheat on me. He said he was confused and that he doesn't think he likes the girl in 'that' way. Just she pays him a lot of attetion and is nice to him. He says he was just confused and that the feelings werent the same as when hed met me and he likes her as a friend. Shes the first girl friend hes actually had so maybe a possibility that confused him.

New problem - I cant get this out of my head. He refuses to let me talk about it. He expects me to just forget he ever said it.

Could you get over your OH saying that?

sorry this is utter rubbish, i have plenty of girl mates, i would never say to my partner i was confused and id never cheat

you said he goes out alot, so hes not shy, im sure he has plenty of girl mates, the fact hes mentioned this one is to cover his !!!! if the !!!! hits the fan an gets back to you, then he'll say he was drunk

hes badly messing u around, shes playing him and its affecting you!

go_cat

Confusedheart wrote: »

Hi


He says he only carried it on because he wanted to hurt me and that he never actually had 'feelings' for her.
Thanks all

Nice ..your long term partner wanted to hurt you by telling you he liked someone else ....do you feel you are a priority in his life :eek:

Louise03

Yes, I think I could probably get over it IF I thought he was genuine. Only you know him OP.
You have had many comments on this thread telling you to get rid etc. Is this what you want or do you want to make ago of it? Do you love him?
He has been an idiot. Is this out of character?
This happens all the time partners feel neglected and ignored. Then somebody new comes on the scene, bit of banter and light-hearted fun. It all seems so exciting. If anything I think he is guilty of being too honest.
Many people who comment "My OH would never do this" or "I wouldn't stand for it" DO NOT KNOW what goes on behind their backs for sure and the majority of men are succeptible to flattery or manipulation.
Perhaps you need to join him in his socialising and get an idea of what is going on with him.

paulineb_2

Or ask him to cut down the nights out and spend more time with you and the wee one.

He spent two weeks telling her he didnt love her and that she would need to change, I love you, I dont love you, I dont know if I love you.

Thats verging on the mental cruelty in my book.

Confusedheart

Louise03 wrote: »

Yes, I think I could probably get over it IF I thought he was genuine. Only you know him OP.
You have had many comments on this thread telling you to get rid etc. Is this what you want or do you want to make ago of it? Do you love him?
He has been an idiot. Is this out of character?
This happens all the time partners feel neglected and ignored. Then somebody new comes on the scene, bit of banter and light-hearted fun. It all seems so exciting. If anything I think he is guilty of being too honest.
Many people who comment "My OH would never do this" or "I wouldn't stand for it" DO NOT KNOW what goes on behind their backs for sure and the majority of men are succeptible to flattery or manipulation.
Perhaps you need to join him in his socialising and get an idea of what is going on with him.

This is what I think.
I, admittedly, have ignored him for around close to 2 years. I have been in deep depression for around 3 years. We finally had a sit down talk Friday night. Both had a little cry, and to be honest I feel miles better.

I honestly believe nothing has gone on, and like you said was just initial excitement that confused his feelings.

Friday night he was due to go out on a work night out. He arranged child care and took me out instead.

Thanks everyone for all advice given xx

tayforth

I wish you well for the future, Confusedheart. Make sure that he keeps up the good behaviour xxx

harrys_nan

I hope everything goes well for you, just remember to look after yourself. If this is what you want, then I really hope it works out well.
You and your child should 1st before anything else.

Louise03

Pleased you are making a go of things OP, I hope things work out for you both.:) Give us an update sometime.